Saturday, June 30, 2007

New post for the day

I was posting a lovely blog on myspace about my camp today and it was quite clever, slightly funny, a bit of irony thrown in...I saw something I wanted to change and I made the terrible mistake of hitting the back button and POOF it's all gone. it's almost 10 pm and my tired self is winding down for bed. I hate it when that happens.

Well, we had riding camp today and it was fun. I had two of the kids from last w/e, and 2 new kids. One is a brand new rider, full of spunk and a great student. She is definitely above average and I found out she's a child actress. She was so embarrassed when her mom told me that. I guess she spends time just wanting to be a normal kid. I think Maggie will like her. She seems to be a good little rider.

The other older girl was in camp all week and she was a bit shy to start with, but I used her as a helper a lot and she really rose to the occasion. She helped me with the two little kids...the little boy was, well, a boy, but I think I was better prepared to work with him this week. I think perhaps he's just a little ADD and he's really smart. He asks tons of questions but isn't always very good about thinking through his actions. I found him crouched by Joe Bear studying his back legs and trying to get the caked on mud off of him. I made him sit for awhile after that and he was in "time out" He said he didn't like time out...I told him I didn't like sitting in the ER with my riding students. He didn't have much to say after that. hehehe.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

rain, rain go away...Vacation chatter

It has been raining for days. Well, at this exact moment it's not raining, but b/c of a low pressure system it keeps raining. I have gone too many days without riding.

I have house work to do, but I don't want to do it. I have massage therapy sessions this afternoon and I don't want to do it that either. I just want to sit in my dark room and watch TV and do nothing...

Well, I never finished that post yesterday. In spite of my desire to bury myself reading blogs and doing nothing, I actually did quite a lot yesterday. Then today, we got up and ran to the barn because I was supposed to teach lessons today. We took Jena, Cat's daughter, with us to ride too. Today we played horse swap. When my lesson was a no show, Maggie rode Freeley, I rode Jena's horse, Dixie, a cute little pony type horse, and Jena rode Joe Bear. Since it was wet and muddy our goal for the day was just to ride at the walk in circles...mainly, we just wanted to sit on our horses. They have all gotten used to running alot, so we just walked and walked and walked some more. Ok, not too exciting, but good practice for Dixie and Joe Bear especially since the kids spend so much time running.

Then we drove my trailer all over Ft. Worth getting my trailer weighed and inspected. I took the girls to lunch at Cheddars and then we also went to Cabela's. I bought a sleeping pad that I found really comfortable. I also looked at a cot tent that puts my old, rickety California sleepers to shame. Unfortunately, we stayed at Cabela's too long and we had to drive home in the parking lot that is I-35W on Friday afternoon. I was tired just sitting in the truck trying not to have a wreck.

Tomorrow is more riding camp. Since Nicole is doing camp every day, she decided she didn't also want to do camp on the w/e's and she subcontracted it out to me. It's been great for my bottom line, since I'm starting to use the money I earn to pay all my horse expenses. I now actually have an income to tax to pay for the horses. Peter has asked me to do that, and I'm working very hard to make that happen.

I have two new music therapy clients starting next week. This is great! Though one of the folks is down in Benbrook...that's close to the barn so I'm sure I can make it work, especially if I get on well with the clients. I still have one more hoop to jump through for the other agency. I have to get my CPR classes done, but then I will be working for DSSW as well. I'm going to be busy come fall, and that suits me fine. The only part I won't like is that I will have to work in the afternoon and evening. Fortunately, since maggie has Fridays off, we will get to be together on Fridays and the weekends. It's not my favorite schedule, but it will be good for now.

The summer is one third over. Maggie and I were supposed to go trail riding for our vacation next week to the Hill country Natural Area. However, all the trails are closed due to all the rain we've had in TX this month. It's over 6 hours away, so I won't be going if the trails aren't open. It's just too far to drive. I wills end my friend Bambi for my portion of the camping, but I won't drive that far. If it rains, we'll go somewhere closer, or just wait and go later in the month. I also had planned to go have Centered Riding Lessons with Lynn Larson in Georgetown and Maggie is supposed to go to her grandparents with her I have to figure it all out if the weather messes up our plans.

In August we'll do our Missouri tour and go see my family. I'm going to take maggie to Worlds of Fun, in Kansas of my favorite places growing up. I think we're going to Silver Dollar city with my brother, mom and my brother's kids. I wanted maggie to fly up to see my mom early, and let me come and get her and continue our trip, but they wanted her to come on Monday, and then have me come on Friday. For whatever reason, Maggie just isn't comfortable going up there alone. Mom is not pleased that maggie won't come, but she is just really nervous about being away from home this year without a parent.

I guess that's about it for now. I want a lazy day.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Video of David Tennant

Video Description

Personal Message

This video features my new favorite actor. He's the new Doctor Who, but he's done lots of other stuff. I just think he's so intense and good looking.


I tried to post this as a regular blog post, but it didn't work, so this was the best I could do.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Busy week, Hot Saturday, Last stargate

I haven't had much time to post this week, but we're watching TV and I thought it would be nice to write something.

I took Cat yesterday for a pedicure b/c it was her birthday. That was nice. Peter then took me out to dinner to the fondue restaurant. We hadn't done that in a few years and it was great. I ate way too much! So much so, I guess, that when I weighed today the scales said I had gained about 40 pounds. Obviously, this is not true, since I had a 3 pound weight loss on Wednesday when I weighed in.

I taught riding camp today. I had four kids and 2 were great and two were a little young. It went well though and I will earn some good money this w/e. I have to go do it again tomorrow. I confess it makes a bit for a long day.

We watched the last Stargate Sg-1 tonight and it was a terrible episode. I was so bummed b/c I wanted to see a great finale, but no such luck.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Weird dream, unsettling day

I had a strange dream just before I awoke this morning. I dreamed that many of the people with whom I trail ride were all out on the lake. Many were dressed in riding clothes. Some were in boats, some were on rafts. I was swimming in the lake visiting all my friends. I came up to one raft and rested on it, accidentally knocking one of my friends into the lake. She was really mad. She was fully clothed in riding clothes. Then, later in the dream she was in a boat with a couple of other friends. I swam up to the boat and just touched the boat and she fell in the water again. The first time I actually pulled on the raft, but in the second instance I just touched the boat. Everyone around us, and my friend got really angry with me for getting her wet. I kept trying to apologize and no one would listen. I was incredulous that all these people were in boats in the lake fully clothed and I was in trouble for getting someone wet. I kept trying to tell everyone it was accident, it wasn't my fault and all I had done was touch the boat. I then woke up...

I've been thinking about this dream all day and trying to figure out what it means. The person who was angry at me is an on and off again "friend" I find myself second guessing all my dealings with this lady and never knowing for sure where I stand. I also feel like she has become better friends with people I knew longer and sometimes that makes me insecure.

I also was thinking about other people who serve the same function in my life. I have met several people in the last few years who seem to think that they can cancel on me at any time. They will make plans and not bother to call and cancel or cancel at the last minute. Or worse, I will change my plans to suit these people only to have them dump me b/c family plans came up or something came up at the last minute. I find this behavior so completely inconsiderate and infuriating. Only, folks who do it, don't recognize that they have the problem, and they get mad when you call them on it.

I have been amazed lately how people just aren't nice. I know that I'm not one of the world's nicest people, but I'm considerate of folks. I try to think of how my words and actions will affect others and I really try not to offend people on purpose. That's doesn't mean I don't offend, but I try to be nice. My biggest fault is caring way too much what other people think of my words and actions and then worrying about where I stand. I need to learn to be more independent. I embrace spending time alone, but I also miss having close bosom friends who "get" me. I have made the mistake of giving too much of myself to people who end up using me by taking from me and then never giving back. And worse, the same people call me needy or crazy b/c I expect some reciprocation.

I also think that perhaps the dream signifies me looking for a set of real friends to be close to. I swam between rafts and boats and not one of the people invited me on board. When I hung on to their craft, just to visit, and then I accidentally knocked someone in the water, everyone jumped on me. I wasn't part of any group. Perhaps this is good, but sometimes, it just feels lonely. Mostly, I think I would be better off if i just didn't care so much.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Life is weird

I'm going through a period where everything seems like it's out of sync. My days don't flow like I want them to. I'm haunted by some unexplained anxiety in the back of my mind. I'm doing things I enjoy. Music and massage therapy are both picking up, yet, I'm haunted by some undefined stress in the back of my mind. I have forgotten how to just be care free and have fun with complete abandon. There is always some project that needs to be done and no matter how much I get done, I still feel like I'm never finished. I don't know if I'm putting undo pressure on myself to accomplish some intangible thing or if there is something that needs to be done at the root of it all and I haven't found out what it is yet. I sleep "ok" but I dream weird dreams. I second guess myself and wonder if I'm making the best decisions. I want people around me to share my perspective and point of view, yet I lack the persuasive skills to get them onto my team. Instead, i come across as abrasive and bossy. I want to have tranquility. I want to concentrate on reading books and accomplishing tasks each day. Even when I sit and read, I think about what else I should be doing. It's like I have this running commentary and turmoil in the back of my head.

I have wondered if I need medication for ADD or some sort of anti-anxiety medication. So far, what has worked is mixing up Bach flower essences, getting plenty of exercises and just learning not to push myself so hard. I expect a lot out of myself, so sometimes it's really hard to just to take a step back.

In other news: Maggie and I are going to the Hill Country natural area to trail ride and camp in a couple weeks. We went 2 years ago and had such a nice time. There is water and swimming and hours of trails to ride. We're going to take Joe Bear and Freeley, unless I somehow have managed to pick up Deli from Larry's by then. I doubt that I will. I could probably borrow Duchess instead of Joe Bear, but I want to take the little guy. He's so great on the trail and she had such a good time with him last time we went. After our trip to Bandera, I'm leaving Maggie with Shawn's parents in the Hill Country. I'll have a whole week to myself. If I have earned enough money, I will taking some riding lessons with a lady in Georgetown on the way home. I want to get some Centered Riding in on this trip to save gas. Once I get my clinics or lessons done, I can take the instructors training in 2008. This will give me the credentials I need to teach more adults and have folks take me a little more seriously in the ring.

We rode today, even though it was hot. We tried to do some interval training, but Joe Bear wasn't cooperating. Maggie would like to compete him, but I'm just not sure his P&R will ever be suitable. After the canter work, and the walking and a 10 minute rest, he was still breathing over 17/15 seconds. Freeley OTOH was just marvelous. I think he might make a dressage horse. I'm not sure he tossed his head one time today. I love that horse!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

A sunday rant

I did not intend my blog to be a place to rant and be grouchy, but it seems that sometimes this is the best place that I can vent.

I teach riding lessons. I have been teaching lessons in western saddles because my barn has western saddles. I teach English riding but I use western saddles. I have been taking lessons in Centered riding and plan to get certified as instructor eventually. I like Centered Riding b/c it addresses all types of riding, it's neither English nor Western. Anyone can use the techniques. It takes you into any direction you want to go.

I recently had a student whose mother decided that I did not teach western enough. I'm not sure what that means exactly, but after I said something about teaching basic riding through my english experience in a western saddle, she dropped us from lessons and found a "western" trainer. Now I have a new potential student who isn't sure if she wants to take from me or someone else b/c they don't think I'm English enough. I have been doing dressage for 14 years. How English is that? Until one year ago I didn't even own a western saddle that I used regularly (I have had a couple through the years, but they were always the spare, "friend", saddle, not MY saddle). I'm just so frustrated. It makes no sense to me whatsoever.

This is why I don't like teaching. I feel like I'm stuck on the whim of each set of parents. I am a good teacher. I have a lot to offer, but I don't seem to ever get the respect I feel I deserve. It seems that folks don't respect what we do in CTR, or it's not english or western enough or something. I feel like I have to claw my way up the ladder at every turn. I have more years of experience than both of the other girls. I know that they are good teachers and the three of us have no arguments. We work together really well and get along great. I just don't understand why the parents think that at 24 they are more experienced than I am at 40. I have taken lessons and I have been riding for close to 20 years. I wish I could figure out what it is that doesn't gain me the success and respect. I also wish I could learn just not to care.

In good news, there was an error on my score card for the Indian territory CTR Memorial day w/e. I won in Horsemanship and Freeley won in horse. I knew about Freeley, but I thought I had come in second in Horsemanship. This means that if either of us wins another ride this year, we'll be noviced out. I'm so amazed that we're doing this well. I'm so pleased with my boy. He's so awesome!!!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Lazy Saturday

I was supposed to ride today, but it rained this morning and continued raining all day. My friend Susan and I were going to meet for a ride, but we ended up having lunch and going shopping instead.

I'm looking for the perfect tent. I want a tent that is warm in the winter, ventilated in the summer and will keep me dry. The salesman at Bass Pro shop says I need to buy the Kelthy Teton 4 and it's just the ticket. New, it is $190, so I"m trying to find someone getting rid of a slightly used one. Some of these tents are really expensive. If I'm going to spend that kind of money, I might as well just get a camper shell for my truck.

Maggie is at her dad's for the w/e. I have 2 massages to give tomorrow. This week is looking good. I have a music therapy/massage therapy session to start with a new client, a 15 year old autistic boy, and then the next two weekends I'm doing riding camp for the camp instructor who wants a break. This all comes at a very good time.

My friend Betsy is working on my language patterns. She says I have to quit saying that I need work or money, etc. So, I have been saying I want more students, I want to give more massages, I want to be more successful. I have discovered that this shift in language has made a tremendous difference to my spirit. TO say that I want something is powerful. Kings want things, they don't ask, they demand. Paupers are needy, they need things. It's a bit odd to say "i want" b/c I think we're taught to be more polite than that. Kids are taught to say "may I please" or "I would like" but the words "I want" are strong and forceful, perhaps a bit aggressive. All I know is that this week, things have picked up and I am achieving some of the things I desire.

We're going to start decorating here next week. I'm rearranging furniture and we're going to turn our front room into our family room/tv room. My friend Cat thinks it's too small, but we like the idea of the nice cozy space. We're going to put our office back in the big living room b/c we have so much computer and sewing equipment and we need the room. We're putting our bedroom back in the bedroom, even though the shower is still not working. We are probably going to be doing some plumbing in the next stretch so we can have 2 working bathrooms again. We're going to move all our books into a room to make a library, quiet room. Of course, if we hate it, in another year or six months we'll rearrange again. It's hard to know what to do with the house. We live so close to the Cowboys new stadium, that we're not sure if the neighborhood will survive or if they'll buy it up to build hotels, so it's hard to plan very far ahead. If anyone would give me a large sum of money for my house, I'd sell it tomorrow. I love it here, but don't want to be here when the Cowboys move in.

I talked to Larry. Deli is in with the other mares. She's bred several times and will have an ultrasound in a couple weeks.

This was a good riding week for me. I did some dressage work with Freeley. Who would have known he'd ever be able to canter on a circle. He's come a long way.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Delicato's Debacle (Cass County CTR)

Well, we went to the ride this w/e. It wasn't pretty. I've been stalling on writing my story b/c committing it to paper for all to see makes me ask more questions and worry that much more.

I took Deli as planned. I noted on Saturday that I thought she was coming into heat though even when talked to by the stallions at the ride she didn't say much back. She was her normal, pleasant self. She checked in well, she vetted in well, she ate and drank well. She was just great. Deli is such an easy horse. She does have a temper, but she's kind and safe. I never worry about her being nice to people. She's the "spare" horse and teaches lots of lessons.

Saturday was very hot. We've had a really mild spring in Texas this year and all of a sudden it was hot. We had to trot into both P&R's and we lost points both times. Losing points at P&R's is unusal for us. In the beginning of our CTR career she lost points for sore back, sore neck, sore pecs, etc, but never in her pulse. Saturday we lost points for both. She could not get cooled off and panted a lot. But we didn't get held or pulled so we kept going. Our obstacles were fine, metabolic checks OK, but considering how hard the whole event was on all the horses she did just fine.

Sunday morning she was fine, but she didn't eat breakfast. This is very unusual for this horse not to eat breakfast. Her gut sounds were good, she had eaten alot of hay in the night and she had drunk plenty of water, so we went. She was very wound up wanting to be with April, my friend Betsy's Morgan mare. Since Betsy and I travel together a lot, we usually try not to ride together, thus separating the mares from the beginning. But they were both so upset about being separated we kept them together this time. The problem is that Deli walks much slower than April and gets left behind. She then has to trot to catch up, which is harder on her body and wears her out faster, as well as gets her more wound up. On Saturday we peeled off from April (which then caused April distress) but when we caught back up they were fine together for the rest of the day. Sunday I tried the same approach, but with much different results.

We were in the deep woods where the trail is hard to see and I couldn't keep up with April without trotting constantly. Deli was very tense, so I made her wait. She refused to walk forward. She only would trot and then mostly sideways. A couple of times she got away from me and crashed through thick woods and underbrush. I hit my head on many branches and once again was so happy that I ALWAYS wear a helmet. Some more people came along and they offered to let us walk quietly along behind them. I thought that might be a good option for awhile. We were not in a good place to get off and just hang out and I was starting to have my confidence rattled. In the past, I would have gotten off and just quit, but I've been so brave lately. I was so proud of myself for not over analyzing the behavior and instead simply riding it out and taking care of business.

This new solution of following these people was not a good solution. No sooner did they put me behind their "nice slow walk" did they start to trot very quickly through the woods. I have ridden behind these same folks before and find they almost always mess up my pacing. They don't do a consistent tempo. They walk a little, trot a little, walk a little trot a little. Every time I've been behind them I've hung back waiting for them to get ahead of me so I can find a pocket, and then I trot up on them again. So their offer for help would have been great, if they'd kept walking...but they didn't.

So, now Deli was frantic about a new set of horses and was getting more and more out of control. I couldn't circle her and there wasn't any place to really get off the trail. I was running up on their horses and I was afraid she was going to run over them. She wasn't thinking. I finally came to a little clearing and I hopped off and we just waited there. She was panting and puffing and I could tell she was physically and emotionally distressed. I started to think about the couple of times she had behaved this way in the past. One time it was a bit issue (something must have been wrong with the bit b/c once I ditched it, she never did this again) and one time she melted down when I know she was coming into heat. Since I had evidence she was coming into heat, I went with the assumption that a follicle was giving her trouble. However, this did not immediately solve any of my problems.

After another group of riders past, and I realized by voices in the words that there was an obstacle ahead, I decided to mount back up and go on. The judges all asked me how I was doing and I burst into tears. All the stress I had felt for the past 10-15 minutes just came out and I cried and cried. I haven't cried while on a horse in a long, long time. After I settled down the judge asked me to approach her which I told her was a bad idea. I guess I sensed that Deli was just moments away from snapping. She talked me into coming closer and when I did, Deli launched over the log and on top of the judge. Then, instead of running left up the trail and out of the woods, she crashed straight into the briars and low branches. I remember seeing the judge under my horse and then I closed my eyes and kept my head and face down while trying to turn her. She finally got stuck in the briars and had to be pulled out. I dropped off (but I didn't fall off) and just stood in some briars. I started crying agian.

At that moment if I'd had a gun, I think I might have shot her...good thing I don't own a weapon.

My hands were cut up and I was bleeding. I had scratches on my neck and later I found a huge bruise where I hit the horn. I stood and talked with the judges for awhile. I was so angry I was determined to get back on and finish. I felt like my horse had completely forgotten I was there and I was determined to finish the ride and teach her a lesson about who was in charge. The judges talked me out of riding and I ended up pulling. I told Doanna, the horsemanship judge, how sorry I was. And I also blubbered on about Maggie and how she loves Deli, but how could I ever trust my child on this horse again. Doanna reminded me that each relationship was different and not to blame Deli too quickly till I had a chance to examine all the evidence and evaluate her behavior later.

By the time we got back to camp though...I wish I had stuck with it. I hate to pull.

Later, at awards, people were laughing about the whole thing and I thought if I put off writing about it, I would find the humor...but here I am 3 days post event and I don't think it's funny at all. My hands are still cut. I haven't been able to work at all this week. I know that there is humor here. It's a great story...NORMALLY MILD MANNERED HORSE GOES ON CRAZY SPREE THROUGH FOREST. etc. I'm just not laughing yet. I'm left with concerns that she is mentally unbalanced and that all the trust I've placed in this horse has been misplaced. I'm worried that she has a screw loose and will never be trustworthy...or worse, that all along she hasn't been trustworthy.

I'm not sure what to do to believe in her again. I need a plan, some exercises, something I can train her with that will help her to be the horse I always thought she was. Maybe after she is bred and has her baby she needs to be spayed? I just don't know right now and I hate feeling like I can't trust her.

Of course the flip side is one crazy event does not a crazy animal make. I have never considered ever letting this horse go until this event. I have never felt or seen such out of control behavior on her or any horse. I didn't even exist at the point at which she barrelled into the woods.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Weekend away

This weekend I'm going to the first CTR in Cass County, TX. It's at Wright Patman Lake near Queen City, TX and it sounds like it's going to be great. It also sounds like everyone in NATRC region four will be there.

I've been having a dilemma of spirit b/c I am torn about which horse to take. I have planned all along to take Deli (well, I've been planning it since the Arkansas ride back in April) and I'm leaving her with Larry Gould so that she and his stallion, Repo (aka Phantom Sheik--I've always thought it sounded like a condom name) can make nice and give us a baby next year. Problem is that she's not the competitor Freeley is. He won his second ride 2 weeks ago. We're on a roll. I really don't want to ride her.

I had three options...I could take both horses which means I'm hauling 3 with a small truck and that just seems like a bad idea. I could take Freeley and compete and then take Deli out to Marshall later in the week, but that will mean 2 more tanks of gas (or about $130) and that doesn't seem wise monetarily. I think I've decided just to take Deli and hope that she surprises me.

The main reason I don't want to take her is that I'm worried that she's a little off. She's not lame, it's not off in legs. She is just not holding her head right. She seems really stiff in her poll. I think she's needs an adjustment, which isn't going to happen tomorrow. I did some stretches with her today and she's holding her head funny. I'm hoping I can get her relaxed and stretched out and she'll be better, but I'm worried that I'll lose points for lameness. When she trots on her right circle she doesn't bend through her rib cage and it makes her trot look really funny. I really wanted to see how Freeley stacks up against all 17 other novice heavy weight horses. Now I'll never know if he's as good as everyone in the region or not...

In the fall it's just me and Freeley. He's the man!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Six Flags

we got a fantastic deal on some season passes to six flags this year. One of my riding students went with her band and they were given the opportunity to upgrade to a season pass for $35. They gave them too many vouchers so we got season passes for $35 each. That's a deal...We added a parking pass for $50, but we're in. So, tonight was a stellar night at six flags. Peter rode the first ride and it was the tea cups. It made him a little nauseous and the rest of the night he was just miserable. Poor guy. He doens't really like Six Flags. It's really more something Maggie and I like. She's finally tall enough to ride everything. She's over 54 inches...I think she grew it all in the last 3 months.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Husbands and horse trainers

Today my husband ignored food thawing on the counter for an entire evening. He noticed that I had made rice, which I intend to take on my trip, but he walked by the chili, which I was thawing for his dinner, and the raw chicken, which got to room temperature before I got home. He wanted the rice and I told him if he ate it, he had to make more, but would he please put it in the fridge for me. When quizzed on why the rice, the chicken and the chili were still on the stove, he said he just never thought to put them away...even though I asked him to. We argued (and he'll probably respond here, since he is an authorized person on my blog) and he did apologize, much to his credit...I like a good apology.

The other thing today was that he used my sewing scissors to cut open plastic. He said: you mean those grey handled scissors that have the broken handle. I replied: only the handle is broken, the blades were my best ones...probably not now that he's cut open plastic with them.'s not like we haven't been this route before, but I ended up feeling bad that I called him on it. Not sure why that is.

ON the subject of horse trainers...Maggie had a barrel lesson tonight and I can't say it went well. The other kids all seemed very happy, but Maggie didn't have a good time. She changed around tack, told the kids to do things that I personally never teach. I learned to ride English, but I have honestly never thought there was that much difference in basic riding between western and english riding. Sure, there are techniques that you use in one and not the other. No one runs barrels in an English saddle and most people don't jump in a western saddle, but I honestly have never thought they were that much different. She changed their bits around and recommended bits and equipment that I loathe seeing kids use. Maggie got busted for letting Deli eat, which I explained is normal in distance riding...if they aren't working they are eating. The trainer said if she was eating she wasn't focusing. She then talked to the kids about safety for a long while (which I thought was great) but didn't want Deli to eat b/c she was supposed to be focused. I remember thinking that the horse didn't give a flip about the lecture, but I told Maggie not to have her eat anyway. Toward the end when they got to riding, I did see some interesting techniques that I would like to have my daughter practice and practice myself, but I"m still not sure. I felt like even when I agreed with the teacher, she was trying to show me how much she knew. I didn't feel like there was any conversation in which she wasn't trying to tell me that she knew more than I did. I found that very frustrating. Of course, maybe I was the one trying to prove myself...I"m still pondering that question.

As I've gotten older I have quit trying to make myself beneath all the so called experts in the world. There are many times I meet people who know more than I do, but I also meet people who don't know more than I do. I find myself trying to relate to people as equals. I'm an equine professional. I teach lessons, I earn money, I have a good base of knowledge. Why should I have to pretend that I'm ignorant b/c someone else wants to be built up? OF course, I expect the same respect from the other professional. I don't know squat about barrel racing (and I may be glad about that in the coming weeks) but I do know about barefooting my horse. The trainer's husband is a farrier and even when I tried to talk foot care on equal footing, I got the feeling that she wanted to let me know that she was more experienced that I am. She may be, but why was it necessary to put me in my place?

I"m sure we'll go back for round 2. I find sometimes that I learn the most from people that I don't agree with on the surface.

Then when it was time to pay, it was $15 more than we'd been told b/c it went over time. I've never had an instructor change the price on me after the fact. I was shocked. I kept waiting for her to resend it since she was the one who decided to keep them longer, but she didn't. I now owe the owner of my barn $15 b/c I only had the $30 that I was expecting to pay. I think $45 for a 2 hour lesson is a good value, it was just more than I had budgeted for the lesson.

Maggie said that the trainer talked about winning and what to do to win. Maggie says she doesn't really care if she wins at this. She just wants to have fun. I told her that the lessons, even if we don't always agree, are important to our development. We can learn something even if we don't like everything someone is telling us. Nothing we were shown was cruel or bad, it was just different than how we're used to doing it. I know that I need to open my own mind to listening to new ideas too.

BTW, I think my husband is a great guy. Sometimes he just gets his head up his code and we lose each other. I know that as much as I"m annoyed about the scissors and about the kitchen, mostly I just didn't have a very good day and those are tangible things that I can do something about so I fuss about them.

New Trailers, Cat Adventures and other random thoughts

Why is it when I'm standing in my kitchen doing dishes, I can think of fun, clever and witty things to write. Then, when I sit down to actually do the writing, much of it flies out my head?

I wanted to post a picture of my new horse trailer. I'm very proud of it. Ok, I realize it doesn't look like much, but I am really happy with it. My old trailer was much older (built in 1984 and rusty) and half the size. I had trailer envy for years of people who could pack up to go on any kind of ride and have all their stored in the trailer and ready to go. Now I have that too! It's very fun. I still have some bins at the house that I have to put in my truck each time I go camping, but it's so much cooler to leave the horse stuff at the barn and the house stuff at the house. When I come back late from a CTR I don't have to worry that my saddles will be stolen from in front of my house b/c I didn't want to completely unpack my trailer at 2am. It has a tack compartment and since it's really a four horse and I never haul more than 2 horses, I always have room for extra stuff.

It was really fate how I got this trailer. One of my friends emailed and said she was selling her trailer and was I still interested in it. So, I put my old trailer on Craig's List and asked $1500 for it, which was also the asking price of her trailer. I had taken really good care of the old trailer, and with metal being so high, I felt OK about the price. I figured worse case scenario someone might make me an offer. One Sunday morning a couple came by to see it. They drove it around the block and came back and handed me money. I was shocked! I drove to Arkansas to meet my friend and picked it the same day.

On the subject of Cat adventures...I have this cat (pictured here) Her name is Daisy and I love her dearly. A couple weeks ago she got in my neighbors vending truck and was gone all day. I didn't realize she was gone b/c she is in and out all the time anyway. She hopped out of the truck at a vending stop, and my neighbor didn't know she was my cat, but knew she belonged to someone in the neighborhood. That night she came over and asked me if I had a grey cat, which I we went looking for her. Remarkably she was where she had let herself off the truck. When she heard me calling she came running to me and clung to me all the way home. She hasn't beenfar away since. I guess she likes us and prefers to live with us.
This w/e I"m going to a CTR in Cass County, TX. I'm trying to decide what stuff to take. I know it's only Tuesday, but if I don't plan ahead Friday always creeps up on me and then I'm surprised that it's time to leave. Each day I have a task designed to help me get ready to go out of town. Today. I'm preparing the rice for one of the dinners and making my list. Tomorrow I will go to the grocery store and to Walmart to pick up some things I"m going to need. I will also pack my truck. Thursday I will go to the barn and pack my trailer. If it goes well Friday morning I will get up and get in my truck and hook up my trailer and leave straight away with no fuss...of course, I've never actually known it to be that easy.

Maggie and I biked this am for 30 minutes. Not a bad start.

Monday, June 4, 2007

ebay annoyance

Well, I was waiting for an auction to end. I got regular up dates telling me to bid again, but I had the top bid, so I didn't bid again. At less than 1 minute I was the top bidder. Somehow, I was outbid...I so hate those snipers who come out of nowhere and take my stuff...Maybe I should get that program so I can be a sniper?

How much can I cram into one day?

Well, today, the answer is a lot.

It looked like it was going to rain today, but the weather was all ok. We went to the barn and visited the horses. I had to trim Deli's feet as she's going to the CTR with me this w/e. I trim her every 3-4 weeks depending on how much riding she's getting. It's hard work, but I get the satisfaction of doing it myself and I save $75 ($25x 3 horses) every 6 weeks or so. I have been trimming for a few years and I have never been overly confident of my skills, but recently, I have begun to be more confident and I find that I really like the way their feet look so I keep at it. It takes me about an hour to do one of my horses and I typically can't do more than one horse a day. When I'm on schedule, I trim one horse per week on a 3 week rotating basis...Usually though, i'm not so on with it, and I end up thinking "shoot, there's a ride in four days and I have to trim her feet" I dn't have any particular trimming style. My friend, Betsy, who taught me to trim uses the Pete Ramey and Jamie Jackson trimming method and I just have followed what she's taught me.

Today marked the beginning of riding camp at the barn also. I am not doing the camp myself, though I do teach lessons at New Ground Farms. A lady named Nicole is doing the camp. She has four kids each week and it looked like the kids were really enjoying themselves. I did one camp last summer, but I didn't feel like being tied up all summer. So when Jackie said that Nicole was going to do a camp, I was relieved. This leaves me free to teach my students as well as rounding up more students on my own, but I'm not tied down to being at the barn all day every day all summer. Some other folks showed up wanting horses for their grand kids to ride, but I had to run, so Natalie, Jackie's daughter took over doing it. We helped them get ready. They used Joe Bear and Deli, who are great lesson horses.

I had promised Maggie we'd go swimming next so we ran off to the Maverick to swim. We only had a half hour, but it was fun to hang out in the pool. We had the whole place to ourselves. Maggie is still having trouble with her bubble blowing, so we spent a lot of time bobbing and blowing bubbles and I started to show her the different strokes and kicks. She needs a kick board so she can practice her strokes, but she has never really been interested in swimming correctly and now she is, so that was a nice surprise.

The day ended with us at Flint doing massage for a couple hours.

Tomorrow I told Maggie that I'd take her to the park to go biking. Then she's going to a friend's and I'll have a couple hours to myself before I go a music therapy assessment.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Busy weekend

I have been meaning to start a blog for ages. Peter has one, everyone seems to have one, but I kept putting off geting started. Today just seemed like the perfect time to finally accomplish this task.

Who am I? I'm a 40 year old mom of one (an almost 10 year old), in my second marriage (to Peter) I am a massage therapist trying to build a business for myself doing whatever it takes that is legal, moral and hopefully fun, to earn money to afford my first love...horses! I hope to use this spot as a place to tell stories about my horses (who I love dearly and not everyone in my family wants to hear about all the time) and just every day musings. I used to be a huge writer and I might throw a story in here and there. If I get back in the habit of writing stories often, I'll write another blog to keep fact and fiction separate. I also teach horseback riding lessons at New Ground Farms in Ft. Worth. I had a ton of students until about a month ago when the stress of the end of school and summer has made them kind of become sparse. I definitely need to get out there and market.

Yesterday, Maggie was at her dad's house. She hasn't been in ages for the whole weekend. While she was gone Peter and I decided to clean out the garage as it was nasty dirty. While we were out of town last w/e the dogs had gotten into the garage and just trashed it. She couldn't believe how nice it looked.

We keep having plans. Leading up to the end of school we were so busy. She's finally out of school for the summer and we're looking forward to having less to do than usual. We have playdays for the horses and I compete at CTR. We want to trail ride and swim etc. I am going to do some extensive rearranging and repainting the house. It's one of my big goals for the summer. I refuse to do anything really high dollar though as we live just 3 blocks from where the new Cowboy's stadium is going in and who knows where we'll be in the year 2011 when they play the Super Bowl here. If I could sell the house to a nice developer, I would do it in a heart beat. Otherwise, there may be a vacation that month to get us out of town.

I am a massage therapist, but I haven't been very busy lately. About the time I start to think that I'm going to have some more regular clients, I'll go weeks without working. I have signed up with two agencies so that I can have more work as a massage therapist. I will be working with special need's kids. This is great and I found about the job from a parent at Maggie's school, The Flint Academy. When I called the agencies to get on as a massage therapist, they told me that they desperately needed music therapists so I'm working as a music therapist again. Darn good thing I kept my certification up.

Most important...the horses (well, not more important than my family)

We have 3 horses between us. Maggie's old pony, Joe Bear, my mare (now hers) Delicato, a shagya arabian who will be going to the breeders in another week, and my sweet JJ Freeley, a Rushcreek bred Arabian who was given to me to be Maggie's pony club horse, but ended up being my best love instead. My main sport is competitive trail riding with the NATRC. It is such fun and maggie will finally be old enough to compete with me in the fall. In the mean time we go to play days and play at barrel racing and poll bending. Mostly, Maggie and I just enjoy participating in horsey activities tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be another busy day...we're going to ride and then go swimming and I will do massages at Flint in the afternoon. On Tuesday I hope to go bike riding with her and then I have a music therapy assessment to do. At the end of the week I have a CTR to go on and when I get home from that I hope to have more regular lessons to teach and therapy to do. Otherwise, my summer is going to be pretty slim pickins for cash!

Anyway, I hope to do a good job of keeping up my blog. If you stop by, thanks...otherwise, I'll be back :-)