Thursday, February 26, 2009

Beautiful day

Maggie went to our field after school today and got the horses ready so we could have a quick ride before the busy weekend. I rode Liberty in a snaffle and the dressage saddle and he did great. He is starting to stretch through his back and round himself for a stride or two, but he still gnaws on the bit. However, today he was really relaxed and I figured out some things to do to help him around the sticky circles whe he throws out his shoulder. He will now leg yield both directions with minimal excitement at home.

Maggie worked on backing Dixie and that was tricky but she had improvement. Dixie is learning to relax her topline as well and looked great.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Starting a new routine

Since Christmas I have been turning over a new leaf of getting up and exercising. I haven't done it every day, but it's been better than I did before. I have been doing 15 minutes of the Fitness trainer that Peter got me, and then yesterday I took Frankie for a walk and did the fitness trainer. I have started logging my exercise and food into sparkpeople again. I have come to realize that even though I am now exercising, I'm not doing enough each day. I will be upping it in the days to come, but I suspect I will have to divide my exercise between morning and evening b/c I don't think I have time to burn enough calories before breakfast. Tomorrow I'm planning to get up with Maggie and go to the Y before school. This is all part of my goal for better fitness and weight loss so my poor horse won't be carting around so much weight. I'm thinking that if I do the cardio work every day during lent, it will become a habit. Someone told me I needed to take a day off, and I might find that to be true, in which case, I won't walk on Sunday...but since I usually ride on Sunday, I will probably make up for the walk. And, I think that I should walk every day. I don't think that's hard enough work not to do it.

Friday, February 20, 2009

On riding on beautiful days

Today I had planned to ride. It's gorgeous outside. But then I had to meet the hay man. Then I realized I needed to clean. Of course, I really need to clean my house but Maggie and I are at our field cleaning out the trailer. It's strange but we're having fun

Thursday, February 19, 2009

What a long day!

Today we finally had to put Cecilia, the little dachshund that Maggie loved so much, to sleep. She was older and she peed everywhere. We had tried medication, more crate training, keeping her outside, having her diapered in the house, but nothing worked. She had recently taken to digging out the fence taking Willie and Frankie with her (I'm sure Scooby would have gone too if he had fit through the fence hole) I hated to wrench her dog away from her, but I was just over it. Tonight has been blessedly scratching at the door, no stepping puddles, no barking at every little noise. I know Maggie is sad, but it had to be done. When I could count on her to stay put in the backyard, I was good, but when I couldn't keep her outside either, with her other health problems, I just knew it was time. We still have Willie, who at 15 doesn't have much time left either, but we're all good for now. Scooby's days are numbered also if he continues to be aggressive to the neighbor through the fence and to Frankie. I wish I could explain to Scooby that when I didn't realize it was really him causing the trouble I sent Frankie away (and am so blessed that he's returned)

IN other news...I really kept busy today, I drove 145 miles today from first client to last. The last was a really nice family that I would love to service in music therapy (I was just doing the assessment tonight) but it's just too far...I'd be in the car close to 3 hours for not a ton of pay and I won't be able to do it.

Tomorrow the hay guy comes in the am and then Maggie and I will be riding somewhere. I'm supposed to go to Susan's, but the addition of the hay guy to my day has changed those plans I' afraid. I just don't see how to cram it all in, plus write all my notes for the week, plus get everything else done. So, I will probably take it easy and then come home and catch up on my TV watching.

AFter this weekend, I"m booked for the next's going to get hectic. Next weekend is my still dismally empty Equine Touch clinic, the the Scamper, then the Women of Faith with my mom, the maybe another CTR in OK, then the music therapy conference, then a ride I can't go to, then Maggie being gone for Easter, then the Arkansas ride...well, it goes on from there.

Freeley: Comic book style

Why so sad Freeley?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Great Day of Riding

Maggie and I had a fantastic ride today. We headed out to Benbrook Lake to ride today. I have spent alot of time working on obstacles lately and I think Liberty has just been tired of it. We had a behavioral incident on Friday, which included me hitting dirt (hate it when that happens). I took yesterday off to recover, but today we had decided we needed to get out there and move! Liberty really doesn't like all the tiny detail work, so it was time to do something he did like. We really didn't move very fast, but we did move at will. We mixed it up, some of me in front, some of Maggie/Dixie in front. We had lots of interesting terrain and we stopped a few times to work on backing or stepping on rocks, but mostly we just moved out. We rode for about 3 hours, but I have no idea how much ground we covered. I don't think we went very fast really, as we spent a lot of time walking very pokey walks to offset their more enthusiastic trots/canters.

I used a kimberwicke on him today (still looking for the perfect bit) and he was really good. Of course, I realize that there is a honeymoon period involved with bits, but today was as good as any he's worked in. Because of the curb I was able to get his head back up when he tried to graze and I was able to get the control I wanted without a lot of pressure in his mouth. I know that he may go better on long trail rides in a s hack or some sort of English hack, b/c his mouth is so small and he had trouble eating with it in his mouth. I still prefer the idea of a snaffle, but I have to admit that he was very happy with this in his mouth. For now, I will use it, to see if it's what will work for the Scamper. I still will do the bending exercises in a snaffle at least 1 day per week. If i think he's going to be stressed b/c of the bit, i will switch back to the sidepull for the competition. He did place 2nd in it before, after all, but now he feels better in a bit.

Then we came home and I got the bright idea to check in with the Wii fitness coach, who berated me (electronically that is) for not being more consistent with my workouts. So, I ended up putting on the 15 yoga routine which turned out to be more work than my 3 hour ride. My muscles are shaking. Maya promised relaxation and stretching, but now I have twitchy muscles.

I have been contemplating what to do for Lent...I have give up Coffee. It's the one thing I can't seem to live without in my day, so it's the perfect thing to give up as a sacrifice. I will still drink hot tea for breakfast, so I'm not really trying to completely decaffeinate, but this will keep me away from Starbucks and McDonalds early in the morning...well, I can get hot tea at Starbucks, but since all they do is give me a tea bag and some hot water, I think this is a no brainer!

Tomorrow am, we are getting up at 7 to work out before work. Maggie has no school tomorrow and the plans I thought I had in place for her have fallen through, so she is going to be at work with me. I had wanted the day off, but since the Activity Director left, and she hasn't been replaced yet, they really needed me to work tomorrow and Maggie doesn't really want to be home by herself all day. I figure she can bring her computer and play Sims, do 1-1 visits, pass out mail and help me bring people to groups.

Powerful sermon today

Today Pastor Kathy spoke about the old testament story of Namaan and his healing of leprosy by Elisha. This was paired with a reading fro Mark where Jesus healed the leper and told him to tell no one except the priests and he told everyone anyway. The point of the sermon was that God will heal or not heal, but He will do it in his own time and his own way. We can give God ultimatums and tell Him how we want things done, but He will do His will in his own time and until we turn over our will to Him we will see little success. This was a message I needed to hear as I have been struggling with where I am headed, though recently I have become more sure of my path.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Feeling Discouraged

Today has not been a good day. I went riding with Maggie, and my friend Dana, both of which should have been fun. But, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this am. I had the feeling I should skip the riding, but I didn't want to let Dana or Maggie down. I had taken NyQuil last night and think I was hung over, but as the day wore on I didn't feel any better. I felt a bit dizzy and just off kilter. Liberty started out being a total pain the butt. He wouldn't stand by the gate to open it. He acted scared when I tried to move him next to the gate. I had to be pretty firm with him a few times to get him to mind, but in the end it backfired. Out of nowhere (when I thought we were finally on the same page) he started bucking. Just when I thought I had the situation under control he shied and sucked back, leaving me on the ground. Of course, I got up, brushed myself off, and remounted, but I didn't want to let Maggie out of my sight after that as it may have been Dixie's running around elsewhere that caused the outburst. It did cause his last bucking fit, but most of the time the other horses don't seem to be an issue, so I don't think that was it this time. I think he had had enough of me being hard on him (and i was)and I had had enough of him being a pill (and he was) and the end result was a blow up. I rode him some more after and he was fine. We trotted and walked, but he was still not as soft as I'd like him to be. We did a lot of lateral work, which wasn't good for him (well, good for his body, but not his brain) I just hate falling off so badly. I hate how mad I was and how mad i know he was. I hate that I couldn't relax and work through it calmly...but I admit that one moment of being hard on him, each time he was naughty, did get the job done faster than all the nice things I do. He didn't run away when I fell off either, so that was pretty cool.

We did have a few good moments. He did sidepass a log both directions (though it wasn't always pretty) He did back up a hill. He did only act up that one time (I hate bucking!) I need an instructor to help me work on this stuff. Jennifer has been great, but I feel like I need someone to help with the trails.

Maggie had a blast today. She jumped several logs and she and Dixie had a great time being completely unconcerned about Liberty. It was just Liberty being a slave to Dixie's hormones (or perhaps mine).

Then I called a friend to talk...she promptly told me she'd call me right back and never did. She is always doing that...I'm so tired of that. I feel disrespected and unimportant, at least on this front. It's not just today. If I call, she will talk and then "have to go" and then never call me back. I'm beginning to feel very used and I know that I have been lied to. It's just getting really old. She will call when she needs me, but not call me back when I need her. I'm finding myself feeling very left out right now. I'm resentful of a situation I can't change.

All in all, just a bad day. I'm ready to have a quiet evening with very little activity. My lasik surgery has still interfered with my vision...I still can't watch TV from my spot on the couch. My computer vision is great.

Monday, February 2, 2009

What do I do with the rest of my life?

My brain is so full tonight of all the things that I would like to do and accomplish in my lifetime. Some people, like my mom and my dad, pick a career early in their lives and then they don't change. They keep/kept doing what they started out doing. I just can't seem to be completely happy with my original chosen profession of music therapy, but I can't put my finger exactly what it is that I don't like about it. I know part of it is that I don't have any work buddies or friends. I feel isolated in my work and I never have been mentored once I finished I'm 20 years down the line (almost) and it seems like I'm a little late to jump on the "i need help and training band wagon." I think where it really went wrong was when I moved to KY and never had any opportunity to work with other therapists. Then I moved to IA and had a fantastic job with a terrible boss...then I basically was unable to practice music therapy when I lived in KY. I had a baby, couldn't afford conventions and got more and more behind the times. I finally got back to TX and so much had changed about the profession and I had been left behind. Which brings me back to point friends or mentors.

Then I lost my voice and then I quit working for a number of years while Maggie was little.

Then I became a massage therapist, which I really loved, but...I'm not doing much with it right now either. I have only one massage client each week and I think I need a few more. I like the idea of doing more massage work as a physical therapist...I don't think I'm really cut out for the hang out in the quiet room massage. I'm more suited toward sports massage or medical massage. I just don't quite know how to break into that either. I have this vision of who I'd like to be and I sort of have an idea of how to get there, but then I get stuck in music therapy lala land because it is paying the bills I should get more educated in this area even though it's not really what interests me the most.

I feel like the time of a decision is at hand. I feel like it's about to be time to choose a path and get on with it...not getting any younger, but I also realize that I may need to keep up with Music therapy for a couple more years until I can afford to ditch it and concentrate on other things.

And if we can't figure out what's up with my voice, it really won't matter as I can't keep singing.