Tuesday, August 21, 2012

First of the school year jitters

I am working on my schedule for the new school year and I find that I am not happy with the way it is turning out. I have taken on some extra hours which are necessary financially, but are wearing on me emotionally.  Maggie is going to live with her dad and go to school in Azle. Since she won't be home at night, there is no reason for me not to work every evening seeing kids. This means that i will have some free time during the day, but will be gone from home every night until 9 or later Monday through Thursday. I'm going to have some free days, but since one of my running around friends went back to work, I have no one to spend those days with. I'm used to having my days free to be with Maggie, but she won't be here.  I like to be home alone and i haven't had any time alone lately, so I think it will be ok for a few weeks...but taking care of four horses alone will be no fun, riding four horses alone, will be no fun.  My fall just seems kind of dark and sad to me right now. It will be hard to sleep enough getting home late, going to bed late and then Peter getting up early.  It will be hard to eat right since I will have to eat dinner on the fly or it will be cold food or leftovers. It will be difficult to resist the pull of fast food, especially on Wednesdays which is my really long day.  I know that I am able to be strong and continue working on my goals. I just also know that I really enjoyed my summer schedule and will miss being home at night. Not only will I miss Maggie, I will miss spending time with Peter as well. ti's going to be a lonely existence.