Tuesday, October 23, 2012

It's still dark outside and I am sick

I'm calling uncle on my day before it begins. I have coughed all night and don't need to spew cough germs all over the kids...besides, I can't sing anyway since I have no voice...from coughing. So, I'm staying home.  I'm going to color and watch TV and then see my after school kids.  As bad as I feel today, I guess I didn't feel all that bad last week. 

I should know better than to camp on weekends when I'm already sick. I can't believe how many sick people were at the ride this past weekend. Probably because we were all at the last ride and caught all the same germs. Probably because we are crazy to finish out this ride season so intently.  I appreciate all my family, friends and clients who have put up with the frequent schedule changes recently. I'm looking forward to next year, competing just a little, in a relaxed fashion and possibly at a slower pace (cp vs. open still not decided)  I'm looking forward to camping in a leisurely fashion without an agenda.  It has been fun to do all these rides. I admire the people who make ride after ride, year after year. I clearly am not tough enough to do it and work full time.  And ride open.  So for the next couple years, I'm going to scale back to a more modest goal of just having fun again. This year of NATRC has begun to feel like work.

Maggie has made all the rides this year and I have missed one. I'm going to buy myself a jacket this year and embroider 93% on it since that's the percentage of rides attended if you miss one.  I never would have thought she could actually manage to attend all the rides, so I didn't think it was a big deal to miss one. Now I'm really wishing I had gone to LCB with her in March...at the time, though, it was very important to spend time with Peter. I made the right choice. I just wish I would have the jacket as well.  Too bad there isn't grace given for one ride missed...

This past weekend's ride was fun. I have released myself from worrying about the national championship.  I made extraordinary efforts to get a first or second out of state and it didn't happen.  I have had great rides that weren't judged as great and terrible rides where I placed well. I have finally gotten it into my head that I don't control my placing other than turning in the best performance that I can. In this very subjective sport, I may never have the perfection that others do, at  least not consistently it appears.   And even when I see myself and Liberty as being stellar, the judges often don't see that same sparkle. I have NO CONTROL over this. So, I have either had to leave the frustration of placing badly when we do well behind, or i have to quit.  I don't want to quit. 

I think that Liberty is tired too.  His heart rate was low as always, but his respirations were a little high this weekend.  I don't think he was breathing hard or seemed stressed, but he did sniff the air a lot which, while it didn't cost me any points, left me terrified that it would.  Dixie's P&R's were actually better than Liberty's this time.  We were on time or early all weekend, until the very end of sunday when we got stuck in the middle of novice/cp at an obstacle and had 20 minutes of wait time.  Since the pace was fast and everyone else was on minimum it put us in much later than everyone else, though still inside the window without using our wait time.  We cantered a lot a and it was fun not having to worry about the footing or slipping. About the time we still had 7 miles of pasture loops and novice had 3 miles, Maggie said that CP was calling her name.  I told her I didn't think it would actually be easier and that we'd be tired of all the walking very, very soon. I'm not sure Liberty can go back to CP and the slower pace...but I think that Oly and Dixie could walk most of it and we could be laid back next year if that's what we choose to do.

I'm not sure we'll do so many rides next year that it will matter. Right now I'm planning on Christmas ride, Tarrant Ranch and Arkansas in the spring. I will also do the Versatility challenge, but will do that on Liberty after I have given him a rest. Of course, there is a good chance that I will start riding him again after that.  I don't think we'll make Indian Territory next year since I have a school district job, but since it's a holiday weekend we "can" go.  I can't even think about next fall. I need to take Fiera to TTC next year too, so my priorities   may be shifted.  So many ponies, so little time to ride.

I have been thinking about about finding Olympus a new "bluebonnet approved" home. He really deserves to be someone's number one pony. He has so much to offer.  I have mentioned it to several people and of course, no one needs/wants a horse. He'd be free. The person just needs to be bluebonnet approved.  Or, I would sell Fiera and keep Olympus. I really would like to have one less horse...

Maggie thinks that she will join the rodeo team after all. When Last Chance is over, we will move Dixie to Azle and she will get started. I have mixed feelings about her doing it as it will take a lot of Sunday afternoons, but the positive part is that she will be with other people who share her interests.  And if she can have a scholarship for every year that she does it. She is talking about returning to science etc. and going to community college starting next year, but hasn't completely made up her mind yet.  HS has been kind of boring for her.  But, if she gets into a team, she may change her mind. I don't honestly care which she does as long as she's successful and happy and I think that's next to impossible not to fulfill. 

So, when I started writing this it was still dark outside at 7:15, even though I had been up an hour. I don't know why I didn't go back to bed when I realized I wasn't going to school? Probably because i was coughing and draining and realized i was done sleeping, even though I didn't want to be.

I'm going to take a shower and then go to the couch and color and watch some TV today. At least I can get something useful done.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Contemplating the future

I'm recording this with Dragon dictation. Any typos are thefault of
the program, not mine. I will attempt to proofread for terrible errors
before sending. Sometimes errors are humorous, so please laugh and
understand why they happen.

It may seem a bit premature to think about next ride here when it's
still the end of this right here. However, I find myself driving
around doing just that. Liberty has worked very hard this year . He is
run in open almost every ride since March. He is performing better
for me and he has ever performed before. I hate to think about needing
to give him a break, but I also want to think about him being around
for many years to come. I also have been thinking about how I had more
fun riding when I have no goal. After liberty got his second place,
and then his first place, mygoal became getting a national
championship. Now I have two rides left and I have not achieve this
goal. In some ways that makes you hear a disappointment, when I should
be feeling the success. I want to return to the positive emotions IL
early in the season, when Maggie and I rode together for the sheer
love for writing. Not when I was picky because I have a goal .

So, next year I'm going to cut back on the number of Maitrott right
but I do. I'm going to try Olympus back out so that he has a shot at
working in NATRC.

I am still hoping for the Miracle that will get me a first or second
place in Oklahoma. I'm not trying to be negative at all. I am merely
trying to refocused what is truly important to me. I hated how I felt
at Robbers route, when I thought liberty and I had done so well only
to find out that our scores were low and we have not placed well. Each
ride my horse gives me, and I enjoy him. I want to continue to focus
on that being what's most important!

To avoid that feeling of acute disappointment again in Oklahoma, I'm
going to leave as soon as I check out. It's a laundromat back home and
I have to return Linda to her family. I also have to take Maggie to
Isel. And I have to take the horses home. I do not want to get home in
the night again. It made for a very long week. That way, if by some
miracle to get first or second, someone can text or call me and I can
be happy. But if I don't get the first or second which is most likely,
I haven't sat around waiting for it only to have my dashed.

Will I make it through an entire season of riding Alie? I don't have a
clue. But I'm going to try. He isn't good at obstacles,and he is fussy
about his head. However he deserves a shot just like any other horse
and my pasture.

Sent from my iPhone

Friday, October 12, 2012

Friday Weigh in

So I did my weigh in today and I was 219.4, up from 216 last week. In trying to find a redeeming quality in my pounds, I looked at my body fat, which has decreased by .5% since the last time I measured it, and my muscle mass which has increased by 2 pounds or .1% (depending on how you figure it, fitbit wants it in pounds and MFP I just do the percentage on the scale) I did think about what someone said about it sneaking up on me b/c of bad habits and I honestly don't think that's it. I do think that it could be that I"m just eating out way too much and since I'm sensitive to sodium it's made me retain extra water. I feel puffy, but my 216 clothes are still fitting great. So, more water (that seemed to help when I was eating out a lot) and get to the grocery store to buy more food...we've been kind of "out" for awhile. The way my body goes, I may be back down to 216 on Monday, but I'd like to be lower than that.  I also wonder if my body just gets "worked up" and hangs on to the fat when I'm not eating enough.  Last weekend was pretty dramatic exercise, but not a lot of calorie intake. I have been coming home from rides lighter than when I left, but I know I didn't drink enough water last weekend because I was in such a hurry on the trail and didn't want to stop to use the bathroom. And it was cool, so I wasn't as thirsty.
Onward and Upward I guess...no other choice.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Thinking about robbers route

As I stopped in traffic, I thought I would write a quick blog using
Dragon dictation. Please pardon any errors that you find in this blog.
Sometimes there are many and they are very amusing.

In fact, I just looked down at my phone, what stopped at a stoplight.
I noticed that it had written an expletive or I have not said one.
Good thing I check.

I have been contemplating liberty's for metabolic results from the
weekend. I have been trying to figure out why we placed so badly, when
we normally should have done very well. Metabolically are usually his
best thing. The only thing I can come up with, is that the colder
weather cause him not to drink is well and possibly to be more tense.
I am still confused to how we lost nine point on metabolic Scaletta. I
totally get the one point for manners when he wouldn't let that just
checking metabolic, but 9.5 metabolic is extreme for my horse. His
PNR's were outstanding exclamation he had a 92, nine and three, a 10
and four, and I think the last and what it's folding four. He cantered
a lot, and trotted mostly. I just don't understand how we had such
poor scores under metabolic.

Sent from my iPhone

Monday, October 8, 2012

The Rest of Robber's Route

I had a post I wrote up via email on Friday night when I got to camp, but it disappeared somewhere into never never land.

We took Linda with us this past weekend and had a great time.  She and Rascal had a great time together and she's easy to travel with...and she makes Maggie happy.

Sunday went well for us too. We had a fun ride.  It's a shame that we didn't place well when it was all over. It was so hard to feel like we were doing great and then place last in horsemanship and next to last in horse. It's OK, it's over, but I am going to have to stop 'hoping' to get my first or second in horse for the national championship.  It's so heartbreaking to have that as a goal and not succeed, especially when it's not really something I have control over. I can't control if I win or lose, I can only control how I feel about the good times we're having.  The results are out of my control.

So, we have two more rides this year and I want to go have fun with my awesome horse.  Next year, I do not want to go so often. I'm so tired! It's been hard work going so often.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Saturday ride

I may get to town later to actually send this though as late as it is
its highly doubtful.

Today was ok. Liberty was awesome and almost completed soe really
tricky obstacles. One has us turn on the fore to straddle a log and
then side pass the log to the end and then complete a turn on the
haunch to come off the log. The turn on the fore was great as was the
side pass but he didn't quite do a turn on the haunch. We had a
dismount onto a rock and then remount, both on the offside ninety was
great but I underestimated the slope of the hill so I almost made a
really bad mount. I also slid off the rock instead of landing squarely
on it so not sure what that will cost me. The last obstacle had us
backing our horses between two logs in hand and then laterally side
passing over the second log. Liberty did a decent job but not perfect
I'm sure. The judges were also seen in another spot but we aren't sure
what they were looking for.

Liberty is doing well. Two p&r's were 9 and 2 and one was 12 and 2. We
had a problem being too slow and had to really rush in. Liberty was up
for the challenge and moved well. Fortunately we had some wait time
and that saved us from being late thank goodness. I would lose all
chance of my out of state first or second if I were late. We missed a
turn at one point and went up Big John's the wrong way and had to come
back down. That was frustrating.

It's been so cold today. I am happy it's not 94 but so wish I had
comfy trailer to sleep. I need a Lakota, which is a bumper pull lq.
This is one reason I'm working so hard to pay things off. I need a
comfy 'house'.

Alice Yovich MA, MT-BC, LMT