Sunday, July 31, 2016

New orleans

Neither Mike nor myself had ever been to New Orleans. I'm not sure that our night layover actually counts but now we have been to New Orleans. It was nothing like I expected. It smelled bad and there were drunk people everywhere. Ok, this I expected. We are a snack at midnight and went to a piano bar to meet a friend, but then We couldn't get in bc the line was too long and these two old people didn't want to wait in line.

This morning we had beignets in hotel lobby and I saw my first bloody Mary bar. He had 4 different kinds of vodka ranging from jalapeno to bacon. I settled on a fancy olive infused vodka and Cajun mix with crystals hot sauce. I added pickled bacon, olives and bacon. And horse radish. It is really good but I'm glad Mike can help me drink it or I'd have a hard time walking.

We are waiting for Rachel (sister of a client who now lives here) to come get us for breakfast. We are going to a place called katie's for breakfast.

The original plan was to go to Orlando today and and the. See universal  and Harry potter world tomorrow. However I looked up tickets and was  immediately  shocked by the cost so I'm trying  to talk myself back into it. We might go to just the universal side with half of Harry potter world. But then I think oh what the neck...anyway we will see what time we get out of here and make decisions appropriately

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Praise you in this Storm

Casting Crowns Praise you in this Storm

I heard this song for the first time on Sunday during Church at the Boots and Saddle Cowboy Church in Gatesville, TX.  I wish I had heard it before Sunday because there are so many times that I could have used it over the last few years. Of course I have had other songs during times of trial but this song has really been a comfort this week. (Plus, I just love Casting Crowns)  Jess McCabe, the minister of the church told the story of how it was composed...A mother was in the hospital watching her son die and was literally praising God as he died. How powerful is that? Your child is dying, one of the worst things that can happen to a person but you are still praising God and his goodness.

Since I have been seeing Michael I have rediscovered my joy of attending church and being part of a church body.  Unfortunately because of travel schedules I have only gotten to go three times in the last 3 months, but it has been great.  I have been attending church at rides since beginning to ride NATRC in 2002, and it has been great. Interspersed had been attempts by Maggie, Peter and I to find a church home, but he and I had such diverse feelings about what type of church service we liked that it was difficult.  Because churches are made of humans sometimes working the maze of personalities and power play can be difficult and I can admit to finding it easier to just not go sometimes.  I had my NATRC church and my TTC church so it was enough.  I read my Bible, I prayed daily (Hourly) and read books about scripture, so I was never without God.  I was raised in a church and was a regular attendee through college.  I always longed for a marital relationship that made church a part of the relationship. It's such a joy to finally have that happen.

When things are going to easily in my life I admit to waiting for the other shoe to drop...I guess it sort of dropped yesterday.

I know you can't please everyone, but sometimes I find some people are just determined not to like a person.  For the most part everyone I have met has been so nice and so pleasant and so happy for Michael. My friends have been happy for me as well with the standard "take you time" caveats that we all give our friends whenever we see them driving head first toward a moving train.  I feel like those are part of loving your friends and are to be applauded and appreciated. But what about the people who have decided to not like a person from the beginning. What do you do to fix that or make it better and can you ever really?  And What do you do about the people who share personal items they should not in the name of saving a friend?

I am a good person. I have not always had things go my way and i have made decisions I wish I could go back and erase, but I am a good person. I am honest, I am loyal and I follow through (most of the time...sometimes I get a little too much on my plate and have to cry uncle).  I have never even had a conversation with any of these people and they have decided they dislike me.  It has sucked some of the joy out of my day and that's exactly how we need to bring people to Christ right? By sucking their joy and showing them how bad they are?  I know that I am a sinner. I know I have not always made the choices. However I feel strongly that some of those bad decisions have been character building experiences which have shaped me into the adult I am. I also believe that God is blessing me in this relationship.  Michael has pointed out to me that the flip side of wishing I had not made so many bad choices is the knowledge that every bad choice brought me here to this place to be with him. I believe that's true. I believe he and I are meant to be together. I believe that we will get married sooner than later.  It would just be so much easier if there weren't haters and detractors.

So, I will continue to pray and read my Bible and go to church and hope that the people who see me as one walking red flag can see that I am not. Sometimes life happens to us and sometimes we are in charge. Many of my bad choices were the former when I should have been the latter.  I feel like a butterfly who has finally come out of her cocoon. I just wish others could see the butterfly and all the amazing colors and not the nasty worm that I come from.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Happy 4th of July

So I wrote this awesome post that didn't publish...sigh

The gist was: I rode in a parade, I love Michael Perryman and I had deep thoughts about other relationships which will have to be rewritten later.