Playing Catch up again

Frankie and Willie had another go round this week. My friends say that the only reason frankie is still alive is b/c i love him. They are problaby right...I've never known a dog that is this big of a pain. I talked to the vet about putting him to sleep b/c of his aggression toward other dogs, but they urge me not to. I have tried, once again to find him a home, but I'm having no luck at all. No one wants him. If I tell people about him, they really don't want him...I can't imagine him being here for the next 10 years of my life, but then I can't imagine putting him to sleep either. I feel like if I just could get him enough exercise we'd be ok...so I guess more exercise it is.

I spent the day grocery shopping. My Christmas cooking is very expensive and detailed, but I won't be buying anymore groceries after this is over! I have food to be able to cook in the next week or two and that's good. I've been eating out way too much! After hitting a low of 198.8, I'm up to 204. I haven't done anything different that I can tell either, so I don't know what's different. I hate that! I lost it easily and gained it just as easily. sigh. I'm back to weighing each day b/c I find it helps me stay on track.

We have a nice couple of days planned...My food is mostly cooked in the crock, which will be nice. We're having a crock pot version of Cioppino for Christmas Eve and Shawn is coming over. I'm making Rachel Ray's Christmas pasta on Sunday. Both will go well in the crock so I won't be tied to the kitchen. Usually we go to the barn to play with our new horsey toys on Christmas day, which we will do again this year. Alexa is coming over for the Christmas dinner portion of the day...I have to get to the barn for a little while anyway...I'm not sure we have times set for eating yet.

The day after Christmas, we are going to rearrange our house as we often do this time of year. We're going to put the living room in the front room, like it was in the original days of this house. Our couch just fits in the room so that will be cozy. We were talking about how we need a flat screen TV to put in the room...but I don't think we'll be doing that this year. We're going to clean really well for my dad coming and move our office back into the big room so we have more space. We have a lot of "stuff" that will go into the room that we now use as a bedroom and it will be for music and massages and just a "quiet" place. I've already started to dump a lot of stuff like books and just other stuff. I get new stuff at Christmas and then I purge...or I purge before I get.

I finally got Peter something for Christmas that he'll like...took me awhile to find something. I did have one thing i forgot to buy b/c Cat was with me and i just got distracted. But, I did get him some things he'll like I think...More on that later.

We have my computer working for now, but it's not great yet. all of a sudden the wireless is working (don't know why) but it's still not burning cd's. If it keeps working, I'll try to get around in the next day or two and say hi. My sims are still going...they've been fun.

I had a lesson with Liberty yesterday. He's just doing ground work for now and he's going to be great. I have been paying Renee, at my barn to help me with him. She's a fantastic horse trainer. I hope to get with her again next week as well, but I have to wait and see what the weather is going to be like. I have been doing a ton of clinton anderson stuff and he's doing it really well. She's teaching him more John Lyons type stuff and he's learning that quickly as well. He's so smart!

Barn day Sunday

Today Maggie worked the barn with Jena and Jennifer...it went OK, though there was some disagreement between the girls over who was working harder. Jena and Maggie had no fights and I was so proud of them. However, it felt like I kept losing Jennifer. Finally at the end of the day I told her I wasn't very happy with her. I hate correcting someone else's kid, but I know if my kid had been slinking off, I'd have been pissed. I don't think I was hard on her, but maybe I was. It's hard to say with kids. I'm proud of myself though, I didn't lose my temper or anything. I'm also really proud of Maggie and Jena. They worked really hard all day and they were nice to each other all day.

On the subject of LIberty: I’m iffy on the horse, only b/c Deli has been lame, but I’m doing some corrective stuff with her. Maggie doesn’t want to give her up, but wants a horse to ride. He’s green, but I really like him. I just know that since I board (especially since I board) I don’t need 3 horses, a pony and a foal this time next year. Of course, I’d love to have them all, but I don’t know what I'll do. Maggie says that she doesn’t care about competing if she can’t compete on Deli…I can honestly say I don’t feel that way. I think it would be way better to donate Deli to a therapeutic riding center if I can’t get her ringbone under control (our latest dx) where she can do what she is good at (taking care of kids) and we can do what we enjoy. Ultimately, I don’t know how much of a choice Maggie will get. I mean, I hate to be mean to the kid, but she doesn’t really get the economics of keeping horses in the city and being able to accommodate them. I wish I could find someone who wanted to lease a nice broodmare. I hate that she’s had this trouble. I hate the thought of ditching her. I also hate the thought of keeping a lame pet for another 10-15 years. Sigh…

Crowley schools called me back and they want to keep talking to me about the work there. That would be outstanding if I can get that all worked out. It will be hard work, but it will mean that we could darn near get out of of debt in the next 9 months. That would be fantastic...and allow me to keep all the horses, maybe, if I wanted to. Maggie says she doesn't like me working that hard, but I think that it's good for all of us. Mostly, what it could do for us is give us the freedom to move somewhere we really like if our neighborhood is rezoned as entertainment district and we're bought out.

Everyone around me has been sick and so far I have managed to stay healthy. Tonight I have a croaky voice and my asthma is bothering me. I hope it is just allergies.

We had barn excitement today...a new boarder went down to the yet unopened trails and rode them. They gate people let her in. So far, we've been told they're not open. One person I know thinks that the person in charge is just telling everyone we can't ride them yet b/c she likes having them all to herself. I just know that we're supposedly so close to having them open, I don't want anything to mess it up. Evidently, the person riding and then person in charge got into an argument about it. I just want them to be open!

We used Deli for a lesson today and she looked tons better...hopefully she is on the mend.

Too tired to write much (or maybe not)

I just got back from a fun ride at Cbar stables in Valley Mills, TX. They have a camping area and over 1000 acres to ride on. There are three sections of mixed trails. Pastures house cattle, and in between are rocky, canyon type trails to climb in and out of. Right now there is water in the creeks, which is really welcome this time of year (it was 102 today) but they keep water troughs out when the creeks are dry.

I went with a group from my barn. Maggie and I had decided we wanted to go and I asked Jackie from NGF to join us, along with her daughter. Another girl wanted to go and she was going to bring another friend of jackie's daughter. At the last minute I decided to take one of my former riding students so that Maggie would also have a friend with whom to ride. The kid ages are tricky in this bunch. They are 16, 14, 12, and almost 10 (Maggie will be 10 Sept 2) Until recently, Maggie has always been regarded as being a "big kid" but with the addition of the extra almost teens and teens at the barn, all of a sudden she is a "little kid." Actually, I think the real problem is that for so long she was the only kid, and now there are old kids, so that's what makes her a little kid.

When I plan a camping trip I typically have a set time I want to leave. I know when I want to arrive, what my plans are, what I'm going to eat etc. This trip got away from me from the beginning. I wanted Jackie and her daughter to join us. When others thought it sounded like fun I said, sure, why not. Then they started asking other people to come with them and they wanted to borrow Joe Bear and it just got out of hand. One girl asked Jackie if she could use Joe Bear. She didn't ask me...she asked Jackie. Anyway, I tried to put limits on who was coming, how much space there was etc and it seemed like they didn't care. I'm quite sure they think I'm a control freak. I agreed that I was about some things, but we only had so many trucks and trailers. Plus we had certain riding goals in mind. There are lots of reasons I didn't want the other girl to go...not the least of which is that she rode Joe Bear and Deli and complained about them both, but then had the nerve to ask to ride them again. I told her that since she didn't seem to appreciate them, she'd have to find a new ride the next time she didn't have an extra horse...now I worry that she'll come use Joe without permission. Also, I have my daughter with me. This girl isn't someone I want around my kid. The other, older kids, think she's so cool. Maggie doesn't think much of her (the feeling is mutual) and I would just as soon keep it that way.

So, we left late, got there late and I was setting up my tent in the dark. The good side is, I slept great, even outside in the heat.

I did learn some valuable lessons though. If I have expectations of schedule, and really want to keep them,I should make my plans, invite the other folks to come, let them make their own reservations and then leave on my own time frame. I need to accept that they don't run on my schedule and it annoys me to stall my own schedule. Or, I have to know that whatever time I set as my schedule will end up being later than I planned and I have to suspend my irritation. I seem to be the only one who really cares about being on schedule and I can't make them buy into my value system. One of my good friends, Sylvia, told me that if I was truly honest with myself, I would have known that the way it turned out is exactly what I expected all along. And, I have to confess, she is right. I was downright delusional to think it would be different.

And darn it if Jennifer didn't ditch Maggie for the older kids. I have a rule about only taking 2 horses in my trailer since my truck is small. I broke my own rule to include an extra child for Maggie and she was still on her own with me. At dinner on Friday and lunch on Sat. she crammed into a table with the older kids rather than sit by us. She talked Jackie into letting her ride back in the truck with her instead of me b/c she didn't want to take her turn in the backseat. So, she got me to pull her horse for her and hay her horse and sling her horse's poop, and she couldn't even be bothered to ride in the same car...It will be a long time before I break my two horse hauling rule again for her! I really like this girl. She can be so bright and funny and entertaining. My daughter enjoys her too. But she does seem to disappear whenever there is work to be done. She works when the people she wants to impress are there to watch, but has a habit of quitting when those folks aren't around. A few of us have seen it. I guess that time will eventually make her into a solid citizen or the others will catch her at her game. I have talked to her mom a bit about the problem, so other adults are aware. I like her mom, Patty, very much. I like Jennifer very much. I just wish she hadn't blown us off.

I spoke with my friend Betsy who told me this was the age where she and her daughter (who just graduated from HS) started spending time alone together. I think that's probably the best idea anyone has had yet. Maggie and I will spend some time hanging out and doing this together and being each other's best friend (well, in a mother/daughter sense anyway) I'm going to spend more time letting her be a little girl rather than hanging out with the older girls who don't really want her around anyway. Maggie seems happy about this...I hope it sticks.

Also, in fairness to the others who traveled with me. I never told them I was upset or anything. I didn't really see any point. It was just a set of my own expectations higher than I should have this time. I still like the people involved and I continue to enjoy riding with them.

More about the actual riding tomorrow. I'm falling asleep as I type. I'm sure that's a sign that I should go to bed.

Busy weekend

I have been meaning to start a blog for ages. Peter has one, everyone seems to have one, but I kept putting off geting started. Today just seemed like the perfect time to finally accomplish this task.

Who am I? I'm a 40 year old mom of one (an almost 10 year old), in my second marriage (to Peter) I am a massage therapist trying to build a business for myself doing whatever it takes that is legal, moral and hopefully fun, to earn money to afford my first love...horses! I hope to use this spot as a place to tell stories about my horses (who I love dearly and not everyone in my family wants to hear about all the time) and just every day musings. I used to be a huge writer and I might throw a story in here and there. If I get back in the habit of writing stories often, I'll write another blog to keep fact and fiction separate. I also teach horseback riding lessons at New Ground Farms in Ft. Worth. I had a ton of students until about a month ago when the stress of the end of school and summer has made them kind of become sparse. I definitely need to get out there and market.

Yesterday, Maggie was at her dad's house. She hasn't been in ages for the whole weekend. While she was gone Peter and I decided to clean out the garage as it was nasty dirty. While we were out of town last w/e the dogs had gotten into the garage and just trashed it. She couldn't believe how nice it looked.

We keep having plans. Leading up to the end of school we were so busy. She's finally out of school for the summer and we're looking forward to having less to do than usual. We have playdays for the horses and I compete at CTR. We want to trail ride and swim etc. I am going to do some extensive rearranging and repainting the house. It's one of my big goals for the summer. I refuse to do anything really high dollar though as we live just 3 blocks from where the new Cowboy's stadium is going in and who knows where we'll be in the year 2011 when they play the Super Bowl here. If I could sell the house to a nice developer, I would do it in a heart beat. Otherwise, there may be a vacation that month to get us out of town.

I am a massage therapist, but I haven't been very busy lately. About the time I start to think that I'm going to have some more regular clients, I'll go weeks without working. I have signed up with two agencies so that I can have more work as a massage therapist. I will be working with special need's kids. This is great and I found about the job from a parent at Maggie's school, The Flint Academy. When I called the agencies to get on as a massage therapist, they told me that they desperately needed music therapists so I'm working as a music therapist again. Darn good thing I kept my certification up.

Most important...the horses (well, not more important than my family)

We have 3 horses between us. Maggie's old pony, Joe Bear, my mare (now hers) Delicato, a shagya arabian who will be going to the breeders in another week, and my sweet JJ Freeley, a Rushcreek bred Arabian who was given to me to be Maggie's pony club horse, but ended up being my best love instead. My main sport is competitive trail riding with the NATRC. It is such fun and maggie will finally be old enough to compete with me in the fall. In the mean time we go to play days and play at barrel racing and poll bending. Mostly, Maggie and I just enjoy participating in horsey activities tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be another busy day...we're going to ride and then go swimming and I will do massages at Flint in the afternoon. On Tuesday I hope to go bike riding with her and then I have a music therapy assessment to do. At the end of the week I have a CTR to go on and when I get home from that I hope to have more regular lessons to teach and therapy to do. Otherwise, my summer is going to be pretty slim pickins for cash!

Anyway, I hope to do a good job of keeping up my blog. If you stop by, thanks...otherwise, I'll be back :-)