Ringing in the new year

I'm at home watching It's complicated and laughing a lot. Maggie has gone to a friends and I should be working on my Scamper prizes (well, I did for awhile) but I decided to spend one more night being lazy watching movies, playing Sims 3 before I have to really buckle down and get serious about my plans again.

I had a lesson with Shea today. I rode Liberty and he really softened up nicely. She helped me to get him to bend both directions and he's learning to come back more softly to me.  At one point there was a bit of excitement in the pasture and I got off and worked with him from the ground which was nice as well. He was a really good boy today and learned to stay in the moment longer and longer.

She also worked with Dixie who had a Cranio Sacral treatment. Her back looked a lot better after the treatment and she seemed more relaxed and comfortable. she has to have 24 hours off and we'll see what we have tomorrow.

Eventful Day

Maggie and I had lunch with Peter today and then I picked up a horse for Bluebonnet Human society. His name is Pockets (and I didn't get a photo)  and he's a little Arab cross. he's really little. He's 7 and he is smaller than Dixie.  In fact, he's smaller than Fiera too.  His owner had to send him back to rescue because he lost the place he was boarding. He was sweet though, and hopped in the trailer with only a little hesitation. Rode home fine, turned around and jumped out head first.  I put him in my arena and he's eating hay and the little bit of grass. He'll stay here till Friday next week, when I will take him to Jennifer William's house. She's the head of Bluebonnet and my path to LaGrange just happens to take me right by her house. 

I'm taking RJ back too and swapping him for another foster horse. RJ isn't going to be a distance horse and I don't think I'm the right person to train him. He's a very nice horse, very sweet and has been just a doll. Fiera will miss him as they play like crazy.  he doesn't have the conformation for distance...and he bucked off Maggie when we finally decided to mount him. Thought he was ready, but I guess NOT.  He's just young and to me Fiera, at 2.5 is more mature in many ways than he is at 3.  He's such a sweetie though and will make someone a great horse. 

The horse they are sending me is named Olympus. He's an Arab and they think he will make a great endurance prospect. So we can get him on trails and get him in front of some folks and hopefully get him adopted. I think Olympus is on the front page of Bluebonnet's website right now. He's really cute. I will definitely miss RJ, but this is for the best. RJ's gaits should make him a lovely dressage horse.

Lovely ride this evening

We are watching Back to the Future 2 as a family and I'm reflecting on the lovely afternoon I had.

Maggie's friend Allyson came over to ride Joe Bear and Maggie was going to ride Dixie.  After rearranging the trailer and cleaning up, I finally got to ride. I rode Liberty in the loose ring, myler snaffle i used to use and he was great.  After my lesson with Shea I have been concentrating on a lighter touch and he is really starting to respond. I think that this bit business may eventually work out. I was even able to eventually get a nice canter out of him. He was slow to canter b/c he doesn't like the feel of the bit in his mouth cantering. he likes to canter in the frame he decides on, not necessarily the frame I want. Maggie worked with him and got him going, and then I did as well. he tried to bully a bit, but I kept after him and after threatening a few bucks and temper tantrums he went nicely. He can't canter a circle, but he did pick up a canter on a bend, so I was pretty pleased. 

Poor Maggie is having trouble with Dixie thought.  Her back is sore and she just seems very unhappy about being ridden. Maggie had been riding her English,which I think just isn't going to work. She has realized she needs to ride her in my western saddle (or i need to find her an endurance saddle) but since Maggie likes to ride English it makes her life difficult.  She's giving her some time off this week and is going to switch to the treeless saddle and the western saddle for awhile and we'll go from there.  I'm going to keep my eyes open for her to buy an English saddle for jumping, but they never seem to be around for the price I want to pay whenever  I'm shopping.

Busy Christmas

I am blessed this holiday with clients in town so work hours are uninterrupted which will mean uninterrupted paychecks in January. As much as I would like a break I know that money is a far better thing now that I have gotten really serious about debt reduction and budgeting. I'm not really sure why I have chosen 2010 and 2011 to buckle down and grow up but I admit that it feels really good.

Christa was here over the weekend. We went to the Bluebonnet rescue Christmas party and she bought Maggie's old bunk bed for her daughter, Maggie's friend, Michaela. She also picked up some dynamite products I had ordered for her. We went riding yesterday which was great fun. Then I got up early to see her off and start seeing clients. I have three days of work but then Thursday is pretty free but I suspect I will spend it making last minute gifts.

I'm happy our holidays are laid back and relaxed. Life has been so busy it's been so nice.

Alice Yovich
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Stress and unrest

I'm a grown up now, according to my friend Alanna. Somehow, I have recently become a grownup and I have lost the ability to just rest and chill out without thinking of the million other things I should be doing. I have decided that I do not like being a grown up. 

I did finally manage to relax a little. I popped popcorn and now I think I will drink some decaf coffee.

Today was so busy and I'm tired. I had a client cancel with an illness and it was a blessing not to have to go an extra place. I needed the evening to just sit and enjoy the silence. Peter is gaming and I am home with the dogs enjoying the evening. I only watched one hour of TV and then turned it off. I just wasn't that excited by the noise. I have been researching Angelman's syndrome as a I have a client with this syndrome and I'm trying to learn things I can do to better serve him. 

Tomorrow I think I will get back to working on Christmas presents and getting the rest of the ride report finished. 

I called Sandra and talked to her this morning.  She urged me to come to the clinic in January. She let me know that she expected us to come and have it and if she couldn't be there, we'd all know that she wanted to be and was with us in spirit.  Of course, she is rallying. She might be here still, though it's not expected.  Peter sent a large photo of her with Sassy from Pole Canyon Ranch.   They were such a pair. Betsy said it wasn't the same riding the TTC's without her this year after her car wreck. It would have been a big race for the overall TTC winner that Betsy eventually won.  Betsy had been planning on a rematch that will now not happen.  I suspect that a lot of my emotional unbalance is caused by sadness over Sandra.  Losing her is profound and I only knew her a couple years. I can't imagine what her long time friends and family are going through.



The ride went well for all concerned I do believe. Maggie had more fun than she has ever had. She is making a good group of girlfriends that she rides with and plays with. My heart swells with joy that she is making these bonds of friendship. 

Christmas at the ranch

I have been thinking all day about what I wanted to write and the truth is that I am too tired to put a coherent string of words together and tomorrow is going to be a long and busy day. It was fun to work with Alanna and Liz. I live the ride and while I did miss competing I liked knowing I could help it to run smoothly. I'm starting to feel like I might just be a good manager in the spring for Scamper.

The biggest mark on the weekend was the fuel pump going out on my truck but even that has a silver lining. Turns out the back fence was bad after the gas company put up their diagonal fence and without the breakdown fiera would have been turned out to possibly escape. The Lord looks out for us. I'm so grateful to my friends for helping me. I only hope I can be there for them. I am also grateful to my husband for driving to Alvarado to meet us and drive us home so Maggie and I didn't have to cram into the row truck.

Great fun was had by all. We had an adventure. Alanna says that an adventure is something more fun to talk about later than to experience.

Goodnight to all. I'm tired.

Alice Yovich
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The habit of exercise

I need to start working out but it's so hard to get up in the mornings. I thought about going at night but then I'm too tired. I really need to do this but I think it's going to have to wait

Alice Yovich
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My boring life

I'm sitting here working on embroidery for the upcoming CTR that I'm secretary for. I still have bags to string, a pillow to make and then Christmas presents to start on...then I have to start contemplating designing my shirts for my own CTR in the spring and getting those embroidered as well. I have a design picked out, I just have to stitch them out. I'll order about 36 shirts...I'm giving them to my key workers and the other 20 will be for sale. I won't put a year on them so that if they don't sell this year, I can sell them in 2012-assuming I live to fight another day, lol (I expect everything to go smoothly)


Every other Tuesday Peter games with his friends.  I usually really enjoy coming home on Tuesday evening and being home alone. I eat wings, watch girl TV or movies, sew, chat on the phone, or just read a book. But I'm unhampered by anyone else's desires or noise.  But tonight I would really have liked to have had someone to have fun with.  I'm missing having someone to run around with, hang out with, etc.  I mostly have grown very used to being on my own more and independent, but tonight, I would have loved to have had a girlfriend.  My former run around friend has no room in her existence for anything except boyfriend and Faire...I don't even ask anymore as i know I'll just be met with a wave of excuses from "I'm broke" to "I'm tired" to "I don't have time"  All of which really mean "I don't want to"  I have accepted that this friend and I share a memory of good, past friendship, with resemblance of current friendship.  We remain friendly, but we are not friends. Our interests have diverged. I know it happens...but I still miss the comfort of the friend I could call 5 times per day just to talk about nothing.  And, our value systems were never the same. This was always bound to happen.

Peter has been wanting a keurig coffee maker, so that's what he gave us as a family Christmas gift. Only, we didn't wait till Christmas. Since we're expecting our first cold snap of the year, he bought it yesterday when he went shopping. Only problem is that I want coffee and it's 9:30, so that's out b/c I don't have any decaf :-( It makes really great coffee. I'm thinking with this coffee maker and some tasty coffee mate...I may be able to avoid starbucks altogether.

I used my birthday money my dad has sent me to buy myself a 19 inch TV/DVD combo for my office/dining room. I took over the dining room in april after we redid the living room. I had been using a large card table as a desk, but I decided I would rather have a real table. I had been about to go to salvation army, but remembered we had a table in the garage. So, today, Peter brought it in for me and now we have a table in the front room again. I will still use it as a desk and sewing table, but now we have a real place to eat supper too, which is nice. I'm looking forward to getting the embroidery machine off this cramped little desk in the living room. The TV is kind of small, but for an extra, listen to the TV while cooking, TV and a TV to watch while sewing it's perfect.
 
I have a friend coming from East TX to celebrate Thanksgiving.  She is recently divorced and this is the kids' first Thanksgiving to be shared by their dad, so she didn't want to be alone. She's going to bring her horse and we're going to go riding on Friday (just in time for it to be cold) She was supposed to stay the whole weekend, but remembered that she had a scouting thing she had volunteered for, so now she has to leave early. I'm bummed. She is also my secretary for the Girl Scout Scamper, so we'll spend at least part of Thursday going over all the stuff she'll do before the ride so that we can be up to speed. I figure I can use the help making the labels and packets up anyway and she can learn what will have to be done, so it's a win/win for everyone.


Back to sewing...time to change the thread.

Leite's Culinaria- Truffled Mac and Cheese

Check out this post: http://leitesculinaria.com/41558/recipes-truffled-mac-and-cheese.html

Alice Yovich
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On saving money

I'm very proud of us. We have resisted the temptation to go to Ikea and buy something we do need but was more money than we really had to spend. Instead we have found a couple other solutions for now. Maggie is disappointed. We had been planning to buy her a new bed and as we priced it out we decided we just couldn't afford to do it. I hate that she is so disappointed. Peter was going to take her futon. I snore an he has been having a hard time sleeping with me snoring. I'm trying to help him make a comfortable sleeping spot that isn't the couch. Neither of us likes the couch. I have suggested my camping cot with a mattress but he isn't fond of that either. If we find a good solution I will trade off sleeping there. I often go to sleep way before Peter and since the bedroom is adjacent to his office it makes for multiple arguments.

Alice Yovich
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A perfect day

Maggie and I had the best day today. We slept late, ate breakfast out, and then rode at Benbrook Trails with Amy Crane and her mom.  On the way to the trails Maggie and I sang with our Wicked songs on the radio.  When we got to the trails, Amy and her mom had already ridden part of the trails and then we met up. We kept it to a walk since Amy's mom was riding Amy's horse Lexie and she is just getting back into riding.  And Liberty was on his first ride back after his long lay off.  He felt great and moved out well.  On the way back, Lexie became very excited and Maggie swapped horses with Amy's mom. Later, Maggie commented that she was proud that she had a horse in Dixie who could be trusted to be ridden by a rider unfamiliar with her.  She was also proud of herself that hopping on a horse she'd never ridden and feeling comfortable taking off at a trot was no problem for her. I admit that I was pretty proud of her myself.  We ended the day with our favorite pizza and a Bones marathon.  I have been working on my embroidery ever since.

Tomorrow should be another great day.  We have church in the morning and then a brunch out at a new restaurant and then seeing Harry Potter at 1:45. peter has complained in the past that he doesn't get to see enough of us, so I'm trying to make sure that he gets his fill.  :-) 

Hopefully there will be some time tomorrow to ride just a bit in the pasture as well, since Liberty appears to be back and ready for work. I have to gush over my boy a bit.  He was wonderful today. He handled as though he'd never been off work. He was trucking along at a nice quiet pace. he trotted when asked, walked when asked, stopped and backed when asked...well, his side pass was a little rusty, but he was just great.  I am not sure he'll ever make a TTC horse, but I don't think I care.

Horse decisions

This has been a very up and down week for horse decisions.  A  month ago, I began fostering a 3 1/2 year old Arabian/QH cross named RJ. He's just adorable. He's sweet and follows us around. We took him camping and he didn't even get stressed with his stable mate went to ride and he was left in the pen. I was poised to adopt him but the vet says that his conformation might prevent him from being a good long distance horse, which is what I was going to adopt him for. My plan had been for him to be Maggie's long distance/open horse since it appears that Dixie just doesn't go far and fast.  The news made us really sad as we love this guy so much. He'd be a great pleasure horse, or a TTC horse, but Open NATRC or endurance isn't going to be his cup of tea.  So, the decision was made to swap him out and foster a horse who had more potential for what we wanted to accomplish.  But the more we thought about it, and talked to the head of Bluebonnet, Jennifer Williams, the more we all realized we weren't ready to adopt and the horse we were going to trade for has several potential adoptions applications on him already...and I'm just not ready to make a quick decision.  So, we've decided to keep RJ and keep working with him. If he's still with us in the spring, I'll take him to the TTC at Parrie Haynes if he's ready and when I get ready to ride him, I'll make sure he's well advertised. This horse has the best mind. We just love him. 

Joe Bear continues to hang in there. Some days I really feel like he's screaming at me to let him go, but then other days he runs toward us wanting his bucket of feed. He's very antisocial with the herd now, when he used to be in the middle of things. I'm not sure if it means he's ready to leave us or not, but it's so hard to know when the right time is.  I find myself wishing he'd just lay down on his own and make it easy for me.

If I adopt another horse right now, I will feel obligated to move someone else on.  There isn't a horse in my herd I want to part with (RJ included) Plus, I worry about the stress of adding a new horse to Joe Bear's life. He's taken RJ in stride...they get along great, but his attitude toward life in general makes me wonder if we just need to leave well enough alone for now. 

Back on Track

Peter and I had the best day today. we went to church and then took care of some errands. Then we went to the movies and saw the movie Red and had lunch at the movie grill. I highly recommend the movie! Then I came home and I have been working to find a new  pattern to put on the six O shirts. I thought I had found the perfect one, but it turned out to take over an hour to stitch out.  So, I found something much simpler, though not as pretty, that will work and I'll start working on those this evening.

Peter has been fixing the back fence.  It has been falling apart for ages, but now it's finally going to be safe for all dogs, except maybe Frankie. It's next to impossible to keep him in.

Now I'm done with working and I'm going to watch TV with Peter. I'm finishing up a disc of True Blood.  Then we'll watch something that Peter wants to watch. I think I'll crochet or play with my sims...But I will take it easy. i have some bags to sew up and string, but I think I just want to enjoy relaxing.

I think that I will start working with RJ this week.  Peter looked at him today and agreed that he'd be a good size for him...if he rode. Of course, I'm always fantasizing that he will if we found the right horse for him.

What have I gotten myself into

I did stay home this weekend and I am sewing. However, today was so beautiful outside, it was almost my undoing. I really wished I was riding with friends at the lake.  I did get a good scratch in on the ponies. I went about noon and took of Joe's blanket and fed everyone. RJ was just adorable...getting scratched and loved and following me around. I swear that Liberty looked at him in a disgusted manner. He's not going to follow me around like a puppy...lol.

I'm working on the embroidery for the Christmas ride.  The design that Liz and I liked best is very time consuming...more than i thought it would be. It has lots of color changes in it and each shirt takes about an hour. I'm still supposed to make helmet covers for prizes as well.  I feel very stressed about everything that needs to get done (I still have things to do before next week's final follies as well) and I have decided to talk to Liz and Alanna about using some of my extra bags for prizes instead if that's OK with them. I hate blogging about this before I can actually talk to them, but I'm sure it will work out. If they really, really want the helmet covers, I will make it happen. It's probably not as intimidating as it seems right now.  I have plenty of bags, and I only have to put string in them, so I'm crossing my fingers. I think Maggie is going to supply treats too, but I can't remember and need to ask them. 

As I'm getting older I'm finding it harder to multitask. I'm getting better to do one task at a time better and more quickly, but I'm finding that it's hard for me to mix up stuff.  I wanted do final follies stuff, but find myself working on Christmas ride.  I wanted to go to 7IL to scope the trails and ride in a couple weeks, but I find that the idea of leaving town before the Christmas ride stresses me out. I may still work it out, but right now I think I won't leave town till the Christmas ride is over. It seems like one at a time works much better.

I was feeling down today b/c I wanted to be riding, but I feel really good about everything I have gotten down. I have been needing a quiet day at home with no one else here and I finally got it. I just expected to like it better :-) I'm not sure why I haven't been enjoying it more. I feel like I should be ecstatic. I have watched my Grey's and Private Practice (finally got caught up) and I have Sookie waiting for me in the DVD player. I have Miller chill in the fridge and I'm hoping Peter will bring me home some ice cream (we only buy the pint sized containers now b/c I won't over eat it)  Yet, I feel kind of blah...Maybe after being so busy I don't quite know how to do nothing?  Or even slightly nothing?

Another interesting development that I'm not sure how to take...it's on a totally different subject. I got my new manual for my work and it has a clause about missed visits. It says that holidays, sickness or therapist vacation are not valid reasons for missing a visit with a client. If I am sick, I'm supposed to try to make it up within the same week (I already do that)  If it's a holiday, I have always just tried to reschedule or turned it in that it was a holiday.  Now I'm supposed to call the office and tell them that I'm going to miss and they are to send a substitute therapist.  I had never been aware of that piece of the puzzle, so I'm guessing it's a new policy, but I think it's crazy.  I'm going to find some sub contractors (massage and music therapy) and get them signed up so I can have my own subs and then I won't have to resort to telling the agency if I have to ever miss a day. I do a pretty good job of staying clear, but sometimes I just need a day off. I think having a subcontractor will be useful so that I can take those days off in good conscience. Of course, the flip side is that my clients typically don't want a sub but at least this way I will have more control over the situation.

So, I will go back to tshirts and embroidery and TV.  Maybe I'll play with sims 3 a little too.  I made my first creation a vampire.

On being really busy--I think I'm losing it.

Ok…I don’t really think I’m THAT busy.  Well, maybe I am.  I have a hard time gauging. All I know for sure, is that lately I am just so stressed out. It started before Pole Canyon when I was a first time secretary.  I had a brief respite but discovered that even traveling to Missouri to see a friend was stressful.  Then my horse got hurt and I haven’t been able to ride, but because I have so much going on, I’m not entirely sure that I have minded not riding. 

 

I was supposed to go riding this weekend. (Maggie is gone with her dad and I can ride Dixie)  I could still go if I wanted to. I was invited, which is way, way cool. Usually I hear of people going places and I just sort of ask myself along (which is perfectly acceptable among my friends)  But this time, I was actually invited and encouraged. And I thought I wanted to go.  Until I started thinking about everything I have to do for the Christmas ride.  Then I thought that perhaps I would be better off to stay home and get other stuff done.  Peter will be gone gaming and it occurred to me that being home alone with my embroidery machine and sewing machine and lots of good DVD’s might be more relaxing than hauling somewhere.

 

So, here’s what I have going on.  I don’t know if this is more or less than the next person.  I just know that I feel really overwhelmed right now. 

 

I’m the manager for the NATRC Girl Scout Scamper in March. I have a manual and good helpers and it’s far away, so while I think about it a lot, I’m not really stressed about it (yet)  I’m the secretary for the Christmas ride. It’s a little more immediate and I’m making some of the prizes, but I’m on top of it, so again, not all that stressed.  I’m managing the final follies with Kate love in 10 days…it’s pretty much under control. A few prizes to finish up, but nothing major. I will have a big grocery shopping trip next week, but other than that, nothing too worrisome.

 

I’m homeschooling Maggie and working full time. I’m thinking this is where I’m having my most trouble.  I love teaching Maggie, but it seems not to be getting done as much as I would like. She’s learning by leaps and bounds. I have a good curriculum and she’s very motivated. When I grade her work she is doing quite well. However, I feel like as much as I’m working, it’s getting put on the back burner.  Maggie’s dad and Peter were both supposed to be helping me.  They don’t really (sorry, peter, it’s true)  He says he’s discovered he’s not a good teacher and Maggie doesn’t really like to learn from him (this is also true) Maggie’s dad will tell her to do her work, but he’s more into teaching her stuff not in a book. 

 

I think the true source of my stress is because I really like being home and lately I have had no home time.  I’m working late most nights and on the road a lot of days.  I like the number of hours I’m working, but I hate the lack of free time I feel like I have had.  I’m wondering what to do with Maggie. I can’t afford any private school this year, but I think next year I will send her to a homeschool 2 day program, or I’ll enroll her in the K-12 public school program so we can get more used to a regular schedule so she can be ready for high school if we decide to go this route.

 

The funny part is this is all pressure I put on myself.  Maggie is learning lots of good stuff, she isn’t feeling like she’s missing out. She likes the traveling and the days of doing her schoolwork.  I just worry so much about getting everything done properly all the way around. 

 

I have had a little work stress lately. I started working for my contract to have regular contract work, but they have been really coming down when I take days off lately. I know that October was way busier than I ever want to be again, but I only missed about 6 hours of work total for the month.  I’m a contract worker. The reason I am a contract worker is so that I can take care of my own schedule.  I’m not really sure why they are on my case all of a sudden. I typically end up making up the days as well, so I don’t get it.  I usually reschedule if I have to miss a day, not just not show up.  It’s all very strange.  I know that I have been lacking in the last month. I know that I am close to burn out. I just don’t seem to know how to get away from it and stop the madness. I think that it will be December before the madness is completely over. I just have to hang in there and hope for the best and try to hang on till Christmas.

 

Playing Catch up

Scooby got a clean bill of health...well, as clean as it can be anyway.  He has a tumor that could be removed, but it can cause problems having it removed as well.  They xrayed his lungs to see if he had any tumor spread to his lungs, which it hasn't.  So, we decided not to do anything to it for now, but just to leave it alone.  and I will probably just have to put him to sleep if he gets really bad.  I hate to do it, but I can't see spending hundreds of dollars on the old dog who might not recover anyway.

Joe Bear is kind of flagging on us also. He's eating less consistently and his weight isn't good. Maggie is starting to accept that he just not going to be with us forever.  Poor old guy. As long as he's not hurting and he's eating, I'll probably keep feeding him, but I've started to notice on the cold mornings that he has more trouble now and I suspect that when winter comes it will be the end. Up to now the summers have always been the hardest for him. Since the winters are now also looking hard, it's time for him to go to Rainbow bridge.

I found out yesterday that the 17 year old daughter of an endurance riding family died in a car wreck. I don't know the family personally, only from facebook and email, but her death has really hit me hard. It's made me remember again just how precious life is and how quickly it can all go away. 

ouch!

this morning, laying in bed, my dog, Scooby pawed at my face and scratched my eye. I have a lot to do today and I'm hoping I can stick with it and not have to cancel anything, but my eye is killing me. It's unfortunate that it's today b/c I have a client that i haven't been able to see properly on a schedule and I just can't see myself calling them up and trying to reschedule. I'm taking Scooby to the vet this morning for a mass he has on his chest. I may have to just come home and lay down with my eye closed until time for the 2 clients. I'm not sure yet. eye scratches heal quickly, but are oh, so painful.

Blogging

It has been so long since I wrote in my blog that my father in law asked me if I had given it up. I haven't. I just have been super busy. So I will get back to it soon. October has been a blur.

Alice Yovich
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Pole Canyon

This weekend was so wonderful. I learned so much an it was such a pleasure to work with Alanna at the ride. My only disappointment was nit getting out on the trails at all but it was so great to facilitate everyone else's rides that I didn't hardly care. Maggie had a great-time riding with other juniors until she had to pull due to Dixie having a sore back. Then she had fun in camp and taking photos with Jim. Alanna made her weekend allowing her to drive her mule! Robin Timmons came along to share gas and ride safety which made the driving miles pass quickly. Thanks to all the competitors who were kind to this first tome ride secretary. I'm ready to do it again at the Christmas ride.

I was thinking that it's good that Elaine has already committed me to managing the Scamper. After this weekend I might have been to afraid of all the unknown factors.

Picking a date

I have had to call off my Texas trail challenge for the weekend due to all the rain we're getting this week. We're trying to pick a new date and wouldn't mind input. It's probably going to be the beginning of the year in January or possibly march. People keep saying they would come in January but would they really? Opinions are welcome. Management is still hashing this out.

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Reflections of the week

I can't believe I started the week feeling so bad and finished it up having such a great day today. Maggie started with sniffles Monday and I was feeling yucky by the time I went to sleep Monday night. Tuesday I tried to lay low and rest but Wednesday and Thursday I developed a wicked fever and just felt awful. Friday my fever broke and I felt almost as good as new but still have cold symptoms. I have finally decided that I had food poisoning. It's the only thing that can explain all the symbols and the temp. It also explains why I felt good again so quickly. I'm just glad I'm back to normal. Missing a week if clients was I'll afforded with the next two weeks I have coming up. I'm going to be ready for a vacation in October after I finish doing pole canyon natrc ride.

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Love my iPhone

When I went riding today I had my iPhone with me. It was so great to rise bs listen to my music while I rode alone. I love that it has speakers so I can listen music and ride safely.

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I am sick

I am sick. I am not happy about it but can't change it. I would give anything not to be sick. I also have just one car at my house today. Peter took the truck so that he could work today. I will take the truck and work tomorrow as I am assuming that I WILL feel better then. I have a client who is mad at me for being sick. I was trying to squeeze in a makeup for last week (which was her fault for missing anyway) but now I can't because I'm sick. She said to me "you were ok on Tuesday". I wasn't actually. I was starting to be sick Tuesday but saw them anyway because I knew they wouldn't appreciate being missed. I did tell her she could bring her son to me for his appointment is she wanted to but warned her I was still sick. I wish these people understood how inconvenient it is for me to miss them. Between the vehicles and being sick I'm out a week of pay.

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Rotten luck

I wrecked my little truck when a driver pulled out in front of me on Friday. I got bucked off my horse Saturday. I came down with what I thought was a cold but that I now fear if the flu on Tuesday (running a temp). Clients couldn't see me last week now I can't see them this week. Then on top of it all the Rendezvous has to go to the shop too giving us one working car and me with a job that requires driving. So Peter will take my truck tomorrow while I convalesce and finish my sewing. Friday he may have to work from home while I see a few clients. This week is stuffed. I'm swamped the next 3 weekends and then I have pole canyon two months after. And I have been blessed with two more clients. I'm ready for the peace of mid-October

I'm thinking of taking on the natrc girl scout scamper in the spring and need a secretary. I also need a trail master. Any takers?

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Tonka moves on

This weekend was Tonka's debut into competitive riding. I had high hopes for her. She was going great on the ground and our trail rides had been pretty uneventful. I didn't expect to place but I did expect a slow ride. She was great for trot out and an offside mount. Then she became insecure and went from slightly nervous but quiet to a bucking bronco. Good news is that I Iasted 8 seconds and didn't get hurt. Bad news is that she didn't quit bucking till I was on the ground. I have sore muscles, rope burns and a skinned up arm but am otherwise fine. She is now at the trainer's house, no linger my problem. It about broke my heart to watch her run the fenceline after my trailer as I drove away but I have to admit defeat. She's a lovely horse but way too unpredictable for me. When she tossed Maggie I thought perhaps she had missed a cue from the mare. Now I'm sure that no cues were missed and she is just that unpredictable. All I did was to whoa her and tell her to stand and she lost her mind. I wish it were possible to explain to the horses what the problem is and find out what they needed from us.

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Animal communication

I realize going in that this will be a very controversial post and I'm OK with that. Some people will read this and think "what rubbish" and for them it may be true. Others may think that there are ways other than the horse actually talking to them that the information can be gleaned, and I will agree that is sometimes the case.

I have had a couple of brushes with communication with my animals.  When I acquired JJ Freeley 6 years ago, I had never felt such a profound connection with a horse.  He spoke to me...literally.  I watched and "read" him also, but he just talked to me all the time.  Then there was Frankie, my JRT who I had given away and came back to me. I started dreaming about him and that he was looking for me. I really assumed he was dead b/c of the circumstances under which he left me, but he turned up at the shelter and they called and said my dog was there. 

But...this is a story about someone else and how great a communicator she is with animals.  Her name is Anna Zimmerman. She's the daughter of my good friend, Betsy, and she is an animal communicator. 

Anna discovered her gift when her horse was injured and undergoing ultra sound. Her mom tells me that she would ask Ginger questions about how she was feeling and Anna started to answer these questions, as though she were Ginger.  Betsy realized what was happening and began giving her daughter, then a teenager, opportunities to talk to other horses.  Of course, this kind of communication is utterly unverifiable. You are either a believer or you are not. When she was learning her skill/honing her talent, she talked to Freeley a few times.  He told her things that I knew to be true or things I had learned myself.  I am not a gifted communicator like Anna. I see pictures, or get impressions, or observe behaviors, but she actually hears them.

I had her come over recently to talk to Tonka, our new horse.  I had gathered different pieces of Tonka's life from various owners and learned about various bad behavior, but I wanted to know why she did these things.  Or if she even knew why.  I wanted to know if she was hurting, if she didn't like us, if I could help her, etc.  Alot of what Anna told me was stuff I already knew. She hadn't been trained well, treated badly, passed from home to home.  She's happy with us, but likes Maggie riding her more b/c she's lighter, but she says I'm a better rider, with better legs.  She says she bucks because she got scared when they were training her canter and learned that she could easily ditch her ride.  She's willing to quit bucking, but she won't tolerate being hurt. She won't leave her herd to go with me alone b/c she doesn't know or trust me enough.  She hadn't had a herd before and now she has one and isn't letting them go.  Much of this reflects the facts, which Anna knew nothing about.

I also had her talk to Dixie, Maggie's horse, and this is where I know for sure that Anna is completely for real.  Maggie had said that she felt like Dixie had something to tell her, but she didn't know what it was.  Maggie wasn't there, so I conveyed the information to Anna.  What Dixie had to say was something that I understood about Maggie, but Anna would have had no reference point at all. It had nothing to do with riding or horses really, but more with Maggie herself. I was amazed.

If anyone feels that they need an animal communicator, I can't recommend  Anna enough.  She can be hired and is pretty inexpensive for the information you will glean.

Potential Equine Emergency

I'm anal about how I keep my horses. I try to make sure I look at them every day or if I can't look at them, I make sure someone else can look at them for me.  I've been going over board to make sure Joe Bear gets fed twice a day and puts on some weight.  Last night I had him separated out so he could eat a little extra Thrive. I have been feeding it to him free choice since he can't chew grass or hay.  I left him a bucket of water and and the promise to return this am.  Well, I almost forgot him.  I went to see my first client and had a long day up to Paradise after that when I remembered that I had left Joe in the front of the field with a single bucket of water on a 100+ degree day.  So, I had to rearrange my day to go let the little guy out. I felt so bad, forgetting my daughter's pony and almost letting him go that way all day...I shudder to think what might have happened.  So, now my next week has become busy with make up appointments and I'm home watching Dear John and doing my sewing.  I'm so happy I have understanding clients and a flexible job or I could have been in real trouble.

Ride management stress

I'm sitting here with my morning cup of coffee contemplating my day.  I'm skipping church today so that I can finally sit down and work on all my tshirts for my upcoming TTC ride and Maggie is going to help me sew some prizes. She is very enthusiastic about helping, so we'll be heading out to Joann's once they open at noon.  We had planned an early morning ride, but it's just too hot. I'm hearing that it may be the hottest day of the year.

This ride has seemed so far away for so long.  Now it's right here in my face and even though I have done quite a bit of planning and doing ahead I suddenly feel like I have way too much to accomplish in way too little time.

We rode at Six O yesterday, the site of my ride. I rode the trail I wanted to use and figured out many of the obstacles. I also discovered that the trail looks very different backwards and that the markers are only one one side of the trees. So I'm going to go back in a week to double check my trail and ride it the right direction. I may even see if Kim will let me put up a few markers. I was so irritated with myself b/c I left out part of the deer plot and since I was trying to check mileage I didn't want to go back and do it again, lest it mess up my calculations.  In the end, between 2 GPS's and a phone GPS, I came up with 9.1 miles of trail, and that was with leaving out part of what I meant to ride.  So, a week from Monday Maggie and I will go back and ride the trail the right direction to make sure I get everything in I want and double check the mileage again. 

I picked out some great obstacles and then realized that some of them may not be as accessible to the drivers as necessary.  I'm wondering if my judges  can ride horses to their judges places or if that would even be fun for anyone?  Just thinking out loud. More likely I will find some places to do the same obstacles in better locations.

I used the GPS on my phone to make a track of the trail that was surprisingly accurate. It was supposed to email to me, but that function didn't work so well. However, I have discovered that i can upload it to www.everytrail.com and share it on facebook.  I love the topographical feature, but I don't love that all the little squiggles from the from the deer plot don't show up in great detail.  

Ring work

I am terrible at ring work with my horse. What's more, he isn't good at it either.  We don't do well on the TTC obstacles because some of what we are asked to do would be stuff to practice in the ring and our ring relationship is in the toilet. 

Tonight I decided to work on my canter departs. Only before I could do canter departs, I had to go back to square one with the bit (b/c he hates the bit and I never use it b/c he hates it) and work at the walk and the trot.  He never really did well at the trot tonight, so I was nervous to ask him to do much cantering.  However, a couple times he felt like he might canter, but then he just laid his ears back and stopped and acted like he would buck if I pushed him another step.  If I'd had a stick I'd have smacked him...but I didn't, so I went back to more walk and trot work. I always second guess myself in these situations. I was riding in a bit and the western saddle b/c it doesn't have so much crap hanging off of it and it was easier to throw on. I feel really secure in it, but he doesn't seem to be so keen on it...but then I don't know if he's really not keen on it, or if he's just giving me a hard time b/c he doesn't want to do the work.  I already know that part of the issue is Dixie being there. On our figure eights he would pull further and further outside of the circle to get closer and closer to Dixie. With my sprained ankle getting sore, I didn't have the leg power i normally have either.

I find myself wondering if Dr. Deb is wrong and if not all horses can/will go in a snaffle.  I know that I haven't put the time in for us to really be comfortable in a bit, but it's hard when he is light and sensitive and does pretty much everything I want in an S hackamore.  I find myself wondering why she HAS to be right and why the hack has to be wrong.  She says I can go back to a side pull, but I don't find that I have the control that I have a with a bit...and it's scary to think i could possibly have less control than that.

It's very discouraging b/c he does down the trail beautifully and he's happy out there. I find myself questioning the why of the ring work, yet I know it's essential to our continued development.  He doesn't like me posting on his right hind and the only way to really work on that is in the ring in circles.  He doesn't like to canter on a circle...gotta fix that too.  In fact, I find myself wondering why I bother to ever compete when we clearly have so few skills.

I'm sure he didn't have a good time tonight and I finished up the session feeling very discouraged...though he did stop throwing his head around and trot a few nice circles...he didn't buck me off and after it was all said and done he followed me around the pasture instead of running off, so something must have been right.  I think the western saddle is definitely out on him.  I can't find any fit issues, but I remember that the one time he did buck me off on purpose was in that saddle and we've had no bucking since I got the orthoflex.  He didn't seem to ever want to canter when I used that saddle all the time, so perhaps something isn't right about it for him,even though he doesn't seem sore...or, he could just be pulling the wool over my eyes to avoid work he doesn't want to do. Won't know till I ride him again in the other saddle. 

Monday I'm taking Tonka up to my friend Susan's and see how she does on the trail up there.  So, Tuesday will be my next chance to ride him, maybe before the chiro comes.

Great time in Angelina

This weekend a group of us braved the heat to camp and ride at Angelina National Forest. The group included the entire Martin family, Christa Bass and her daughter, Michaela, Frances Kenyon, Amy Crane and her mom and Maggie and myself.  We had invited some other folks who weren't able to come, and Fran only got to ride Sunday because her truck was in the shop and she had to borrow a horse.  I hadn't been there since 2004, when NATRC had their last ride there.  Since then they have build real bathrooms and showers and done a lot of improvements to the campground at Ebenezer Park, which is Corp of Engineers managed.  The camp ground was very shady and pleasant and we had electricity for our fan.  The horses had large pens that could have easily accommodated 2 horses each. 

The trails still had some arrows up from the old NATRC ride. The map at the office is an old CP/novice map and had a short loop and a long loop on it. Since most of the party had horses who were just making a comeback to the trail, we didn't ride really long each day.  The big group would start out and then as their horses tired they would peel off and return to camp.  Maggie and her friend, Michaela, took their horses back down to the beach on Saturday to play in the water. They were gone for so long, we eventually went looking for them, but they were fine, playing in the water and hanging out on the beach of the Sam Rayburn Reservoir.  The beach was a crazy, busy place that day. It was pretty wild how many people were there.  I was a little nervous when I saw all the people. I had terrible thoughts about what might have happened to our girls. Amy told me just to tell them we got hot and wanted to ride and not to tell them we were worried. 

Sunday was really hot, but we rode about 3:30 hours before it got unbearable.  Most of the group had to go home, but a few of us stayed to drive home on Monday. By the end of Sunday it was so hot, that I found myself wishing I had gone home after riding on Sunday. 

I haven't ridden that much this summer due to the heat, but Liberty was such a good boy.  We even side passed a log as well as jumping and riding in all gaits. His P&R's were good. He played in the water, but didn't lay down. Amy Crane discovered that if you ride them in up to their bellies they won't lay down because it's too deep and they have achieved their goal. I found myself wondering why I had never thought about this.  On Sunday, Michaela rode her mom's horse (Koda? spelling) and  he promptly laid down with her in the water. It was really funny, but she was not sure she enjoyed that experience. 

However, it turned out to be a good thing that I had not left in the heat of the day. On the way home, my ABS on my truck went out.  Fortunately we were in Lufkin, and not on the Highway. This was fortunate for several reasons.  If I had been on the highway I wouldn't have been able to stop the truck and the trailer.  Also, being in Lufkin, we were near Christa Bass's house and she was able to come pick up the horses and Maggie while Amy Crane and I sorted out the truck. 

Amy was going to go on home via rental car, so we called Enterprise. We told them where we were and the exact address, also mentioning that there was a horse trailer and a red suburban.  After an hour we called them back and they said the guy couldn't find us.  They claimed he was coming back to get her, but he never showed and eventually we canceled the car request.  US rider let me down as well.  They told me a tow truck would be there within 30 minutes, but it never showed. After an hour, US rider called me back and said their tow truck driver was on another run and I would be waiting another hour for the tow to the brake place Christa had recommended.  I do realize that it wasn't US rider's fault. The local tow company promised services that they did not deliver.  Since Christa had taken the horses and the trailer, with Peter's help, I found a brake place and drove the truck slowly to the shop.  At the shop, they said it wasn't anything big and mechanical, but instead it was the ABS module, which costs about $1200 new, but wasn't something they could fix.  So, they sent me to the GMC dealer another mile down the road.  At first I was going to have the diagnostic run to confirm the other brake shop's suspicion, but they hadn't had the proper equipment to confirm the diagnosis. IN the mean time, Amy talked to her husband who said all I had to do was to disable the ABS and keep driving. This was accomplished by pulling the fuse. So, two shops, two mechanics...no money left my hands.  My mechanic is looking for a used part for my truck that will cost much less.

On the way to the GMC shop I took Amy by Enterprise so she could rent a car and drive home. I was unaware at that point that I could safely pull the trailer with the ABS disabled.  She came back out seconds later, running after my truck...Enterprise didn't even have a car to rent, and hadn't had one all morning. 

So, we went back to Christa's until it was cooler and then drove home, and fortunately, that was an easy trip.

Doing Nothing

I have an odd work schedule that varies from day to day.  Some days are very busy, go, go, go kinds of days. Some days are more mellow and laid back.  I never feel like it's OK to just sit around on any given day.  I always feel like I have to be doing something. Yesterday when an upset stomach kept me in the house, I rearranged and cleaned up my office and then did some sewing.  I never turn on the TV or just read a book and chill out. Today, my morning clients canceled (it's been one of those weeks) and I'm watching the movie Extraordinary Measures with Maggie, while we wait for the arrival of the Fed Ex truck and her iphone.  It feels so wrong to just be sitting here when i know I could be sewing or organizing a closet or something, but yet, it feels really, really good.

no more corn for me

I ate corn chips last night after several weeks of vigilantly avoiding it.  I find myself so stopped up today that it won't be hard to convince me to stay away from it in the future.

Eating Healthy

I have been making a real effort to eat better. I have been eating more fruits and veggies, staying away from corn and dairy and not consuming many grains at all. I have been eating beans and drinking more water. Today...well, today and I didn't and I'm paying for it.  I did have fruits and veggies, but I also ate some french fries and my stomach is so upset. I guess I know that eating better really is better.

I did ground work with my horses tonight and Liberty backed in a circle. I haven't tried a figure 8 yet, b/c I could tell that one whole circle was about all his attention span had at that moment.  I'm trying to spend 10-15 minutes every day doing ground work and playing games when I don't feel like riding.  Tonka tried to be a little pushy today, but not too bad. She just moved when I wanted her to stand and did that thing where she put her hooves in her ears and went Lalalala.  However, she did circle around me once each way, even behind my back (circle game) So I can see her impulsion is improving. I also found her sweet itchy, rubbing spot. Her back gets a knot and she really likes it rubbed.  She was putty in my hands.

I'm seriously thinking of selling Fiera.  She jumped out of my arena last night. The fence is made from round pen panels.  She knocked them over, but she had to have cleared it since she wasn't the least banged up. She has jumped that fence before. She has also been regularly jumping the four foot plus fence to the back pasture.  Clearly this mare has a future.  I'm thinking of teaching her to free jump in a chute and listing her for about $5000 as a pony jumping prospect.  Or a pony club horse. I don't want to give her away as she's too talented. I thinks he would make someone a fabulous eventing horse. She's not likely to get over 15 hh.  She is just so amazing.  I hate to give her up, but my economy would be much improved by selling her.

Joe and fiera are home

We picked up Joe and Fiera home today. Joe has gotten thin but his attitude is still chipper and peppy. I turned him out with the others and Liberty doesn't want to let him join the herd. He eventually separated Fiera out and they have their own corner together bit was fun to watch the dance they did in the pasture. Liberty was never mean to Joe, he just kept trying to take Fiera from Joe. I left Joe with a bucket of Thrive and Fiera was trying to steal it. That was good because the competition helped Joe to want to eat. I will have alternate separating him to eat with being with the herd so he can be social. At least there is A lot of grass this year. His age is just catching up with him though he still has that zing that is only Joe Bear.

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Long time no blog

I realized the other day that I hadn't blogged in forever. I never mean not to blog but I get busy with life an forget. I think of something I want to write about bit then I realize that I don't have time that moment and I seem never to come back to it.

I spent this weekend at a drum training and just had a blast. I learned about frame drums, hand drums and other auxiliary instruments. I found that I was especially interested interested in the tambourine (pandiero). I was told to search for lessons on you tube and have already been rewarded with some minor skills in that area. I had no idea tambourine could be so much fun.

I can hardly wait to take level two and then later level three. Bill Matney and Mike Marcionetti have done such a great job on their curriculum.

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On being home alone

The last time i was home alone for a long stretch was the week I took my massage therapy exam. It was a little over four years ago because I still boarded at trinity stables and I had friends to hang out with and celebrate. We hung out in the barn and chatted and it was pleasant.

Now I board in a field all alone. I don't play nice with others so I don't have barn mates with whom to hang out. I have 3 horses there and 2 others elsewhere so I don't really have room for other horsey friends. I like the idea of a roommate but it doesn't save me any money since I have to buy more hay to compensate for the torn up pasture. I think it would be fun to have someone to ride with though

This time home alone hasn't been much fun. I haven't liked the movies I rented. I haven't been in the mood for books no wore myself out on a boring Sim family. I got rained out on riding. It's been a disappointing few days. I did get some sewing started but found myself wishing I had someone to go sing karaoke with. Cat and I used to do stuff like that but she's out enjoying her singleness dancing with new men. I don't really fit into that scenario.

I did have a great ride with Alexa yesterday and Sherri today. I would have ridden more or longer but we got rained out. It's just the way it went.

Tomorrow is a long busy day and then Maggie and Peter get home tomorrow night. It will be good to see them.

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Home Alone

It's not like I don't have projects to keep me busy, because I do but it's weird being home this many days in a row without getting to go riding. I had plans for each day of my weekend and while staying home is more affordable and thrifty I am starting to get a bit stir crazy. I am using the time to embroidery t-shirts which I will give as gifts and prizes and sell at my TTC September 11 at SixO ranch in Cleburne, tx. (shameless plug). I also have a closet to clean, hooves to trim, a house to clean etc. I played a hefty dose of Sims 3 last night, discovered that Thoroughly Modern Millie wasn't as good as I had remembered and slept I'll 9 this am. I'm hoping that my ride with alexa won't get rained out for tomorrow but only time will tell.

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Back from Vacation

Maggie and I are home from Arkansas as of last night.  WE came home last evening and were very tired, which is normal for travel.  I made some decisions regarding future travel after this trip.  Maggie is going to Missouri with her Peter on Thursday. I was to drive up the following week and see my dad and go to Liberty...I'm just too tired to do it. I'm broke, and I need to work more than I need to be gone again. And I certainly don't have the gas money.  I will be going, but it's going to have to be in September or October.  Right now, I have become newly focused on paying off bills and working my tush off :-)

The reports on Tonka are very favorable.  I think she's a horse who was trained at some point and then let go. She knows so much.  She trailers well, she neck reins. She works off a rope halter. She has some lateral work, but is a little rusty.  She doesn't seem like she's ever been on the trail though and the terrain did make her nervous. Nervous for her was to snuffle and blink a little, but nothing really phased her.  On the trail she jumped a log she deemed too tall to jump over...surprised us both. She wasn't keen on water the first time, but once she figured out water she loved it. She drank at every stream.  She has lost the crease down her back, but is still at least 100 pounds overweight.  We rode her for not more than an hour at a time. I think she's going to need lots of long, slow distance. It will probably be at least January before she's ready to even walk 10 miles for a TTC.

Today we finally saw Eclipse. It was great fun to watch.  Then we came home and watched Leverage and the first episode of the Good Guys. Jury is still out on The Good Guys, but we love Leverage...

What I learned on vacation at bar 50 this year

What I learned on vacation at bar 50 this year

These are random and not ordered

1) bar 50 is my favorite place to spend a week with my horses.
2) don't overlook the local pedicure and massage. In our case, Hair in Motion in Bismarck was as good or better for the money as Nurture day.
3) time away with your only daughter could not be better spent than camping, riding an getting spa treatments together.
4) even though Tonka may be green to trail, she eats and drinks well while camping and is willing to do anything we ask for. She is also a very neat horse in a pen.
5) one week is not long enough.
6) people in camp are very territorial about their horse pens.
7) the maps of the trails at the Ross foundation leave much to be desired but the trails are awesome.
8) sleeping in a tent is for the birds. After renting Betty and Julian Clay's LQ for the week, I am not sure how to go back.
9) whatever model of sundowners trailer this is, it's perfect I can see that all my efforts are going to be directed toward getting enough money together to own one :-)
10) maybe less competition and more pleasure riding is what my life needs right now. While i loved competing last year, I find some of my priorities have shifted and I just want to have fun.
11) it is somehow more fun to sit in horse camp and play Sims 3 on the computer than it is to play at home
12) the drive home is always longer than the drive to the camping location.

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The long ride

Today we rode for a long time. We had a goal to find something on the map that was kind of far away but armed with a map an compass (gps batteries died :-( ) we set off to find the falls. I will upload this map when I get home. It's not much of a map. It's not to scale and the trails have been marked with paint, ribbon and assorted odd numbers, none of which are in any kind of order. Still, it is a map and I had a general idea of where I wanted to go. We never did find the falls but we got close new thought we'd try to go tomorrow but after coming back we realized that Tonka would never make it and Dixie needs a light ride tomorrow. We did find a nice creek to play in and we stopped for lunch and several times to hike a non-horse trail so we didn't wear Dixie and Liberty out too much. It was a pretty ride. Maggie is in shower and I am grazing Tonka who stayed back today. She was a good girl and ate an drank well while we were gone.

I think tomorrow am we are going to sleep in and have a good breakfast and then go see Eclipse. We had wanted to see it while Karen was here but they were sold out till midnight last night and I'm not much of a stay up till midnight person. Of course the irony is that Karen and Maggie started watching The Natural and I got sucked in. At midnight when it was over, I was the only one atoll awake lol.

Yesterday was spa day and it was great but I will post on that separately.

We have had such a great time. I'm bummed that we'll leave in two days bi tried to talk Peter into joining us for the last two nights and staying an extra day but I think he's going to decline. He's leaving for Missouri at the end if next week so I'm sure two short weeks won't work for his schedule.

Tonight we'll get some supper and just be lazy.

Bar 50

Maggie and my friend Karen have gone to Hot Spring National Park to take photos and look around. I could have gone but I am really enjoying the opportunity to do nothing.

Karen got here yesterday in a terrible rain storm and we spent the evening just hanging out. This am we saddled up the horses and went for a short ride. Karen hasn't ridden much in a few years so I knew we'd not go out for long. It was pleasant and cool this morning so I knew it would be easy on Tonka. She is really getting the hang of basic trailriding. She is going up and down well and we have sticking to flat easy trails so she doesn't have to work too hard. She is drinking and eating well both on and off trail. Her breathing comes fast so we atop a lot to give her plenty of rest.

Dixie hadn't been on trail yet and was pleased to get out. She always led the pack on all the trails. Liberty is happy to go anywhere and is having a grand time

Tomorrow we will skip riding and get massages in Hot Springs. Karen will go home on Thursday and Maggie and I will get two long rides in on Friday and Saturday and probably not ride Tonka again until a short ride Saturday before we leave. She has just been amazing so far. She seems to really like the riding.

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Food awareness

I have gone 3 days avoiding dairy and corn. I have not been able to completely stay away from all of it but now that I am thinking about it the decisions get easier. I am realizing how hard my tv Evenings will be without popcorn. I am not a huge snacked but I admit now that the things I like to snack on are now things to avoid. I have realized that. All the things I enjoy eating are things not really on my plan. But I will ultimately be healthier for it.

Tomorrow we leave for vacation. So ready!

Maggie's return

I was eagerly awaiting Maggie's return at 6:10 pm tonight. We were going to go to dinner and go visit the horses and chill out together. Now it appears her flight won't get in till 10:05 and then she won't be home till close till 11.  The only good part of her delay is that i'm getting all my paperwork for the week done before she and Peter get home. 

Howie, the puppy, is playing at my feet and I'm watching an episode of Julie Goodnight on  RFDTV. She's handling a rude yearling, and I'm getting some ideas of how to work with Fiera.  This yearling is huge! Bigger than Fiera is at 2. It's pretty incredible.

Speaking of Fiera: Tomorrow we're taking her to Sprite's for the week while we go on vacation.  She will be well taken care of and I won't have to get any mid-week surprises that she has jumped out.

Acupuncture

Yesterday I went to see an acupuncturist to work on my eating and diet. The woman that I found is a nurse practitioner along with being certified in Chinese medicine. We talked about my past food allergies that I have been ignoring and she believes that they could help me hang on to weight. So, I am back off corn (as of tomorrow, and as much as possible since corn is in everything) but I am also off dairy. I'm also off peanuts because they have a negative affect on the thyroid as do other legumes. I'm taking extra iodine to stimulate the thyroid and she did a balancing acupunture on my my body with emphasis on digestion. It was very relaxing. I go back in a couple weeks and I have to bring her a food diary. I am also supposed to get on bile salts since I no longer have a gallbladder (personally, I'm not so sure losing my gallbladder is that big of a deal, but naturopath people always think that anything we do to alter our bodies can be a problem) So, I got the corn out of the house tonight, but I started to realize how limiting all this stuff is. I'm really going to have to watch what I eat. Corn is in everything. I'm sad to give up dairy...I'm not supposed to have soy either (it's a legume) I did pick up some almond milk and some coconut milk to take on my trip next week. I don't figure they'll have those items at the tiny grocery store in Bismarck, Ark. I also have come to realize that I don't have to be perfect all the time. I should eliminate as much as possible as often as possible.  I am NOT going to make everyone around me miserable with my food issues. I'm just going to do the best I can with the tools I have. For example, she said I could still have cream in my coffee if I really like it, as long as I eliminate the other milk.  I think i can manage this.  I may be able to go back to drinking it black most times too.  I am collecting websites that deal with corn allergies so I can have a comprehensive list of what I need to avoid.  I'm not saying I will never eat popcorn or corn on the cob again. i just know that there is a price to pay if I do. I need to get all the way off all of it, so I know how I feel to have that stuff out of my system.

Maggie's puppy is great.  I'm going to be happy to give over baby duty though. I did it last year with Bonnie. I'm over it.

She will be back from Nantucket on Friday. Then Saturday we will take Fiera to Sprites where she will board while we're gone. We're planning to take Tonka with us to Arkansas. I suspect we'll load her and take her to Sprite's as a trial run. I sure don't want to get to Sunday and find out she won't load :-O

I am a Work Out Loser

I was poised to get up early this am when Peter started getting up early to carpool. Maggie was on board too...but I just couldn't get out of bed. Of course, this might have something to do with the fact that my normal inclination  is to go to bed by 10:30, but because I waited up for Peter (who promised me that he was on his way to bed repeatedly) I didn't get to bed until midnight. I just can't do 6:30 hours of sleep...and he can't do 8 full hours of sleep. I suppose there is always tomorrow...and I will just have to start going to bed when I want to and not worry about whether or not he is coming to bed.

My brother, his wife and kids were out yesterday and we had a great time. We took the grill to the horse pasture, grilled out, rode horses and just hung out. It was very pleasant. I was sad we only had a few hours together.

My mom also came to visit on Saturday night. She came over and we went to dinner and I showed her the work I had done on my house. Maggie played the tune on the piano that she has been learning for her piano lessons. 

Guitar Playing Maggie

Maggie found this photo in a baby album and she thought it was amazing that she wasn't more talented at the guitar since she is obviously in guitar playing mode. She was born playing Air guitar. I just thought it was cute and reminded me how little she used to be.

Riding but not boot camping

Maggie had a friend over this afternoon. We were going to go to the park to do boot camp, but my asthma has been so bad, I just couldn't do it. I'm going to see if I can defer my membership to another four week session. If they say no, I'm going to do my best to get to a make up class tomorrow night, go Thursday night and then Saturday morning. It's so hard to do boot camp when you can't breathe.

But..I can ride.  I decided to get back on Tonka tonight.  As each night before, she did all her other exercises better than ever. Tonight she longed both ways calmly.  She is really the opposite of Liberty who gets you by moving too fast. She gets you by moving slowly.  She stood for mounting beautifully...and then wouldn't move.  I hate a horse that won't move. I don't mean I hate her, but I hate it when they won't move. My limited training experience has always done better with a horse that goes than a horse that stands. The ones that stand seem to blow up more often to me.  I finally got her walking, but it took tons of effort.  Maggie wanted to give it a try, and since I was reasonably sure she wasn't going anywhere fast, I let Maggie ride her...And the kid completely showed me up! Tonka was so much better for her than for me. I was very impressed.  They trotted and cantered a little too, but the canter wasn't pretty. She kicked up a little in the canter. It wasn't scary, it reminded me of Deli who didn't like cantering on a circle because her balance was out.  Poor mare is so heavy .Clearly insulin resistant to me. She will be good in no time though.

Training Tonka

In the  last three days Tonka (formerly Isabelle, Izzy, or Bella--it took awhile to find the right name)  has learned to longe both directions and not run over me while doing so.  Maggie has ridden her bareback on the lead line and that went well too. So tonight I decided I would set a goal to get on her, if I felt like it was safe.  I did everything we've been doing with her, except I did it tacked up. Tacking her up was really easy. I ground tied her and she stood still while I put the saddle and bridle on her.  I discovered that I need a bigger girth...she is not a size 28.  I played the circle game (only it's really more like a Clinton Anderson version of the circle game), the yo-yo...more me asking her to come back than her wanting to be in my space and a little bit of sideways game (which started out being more an attempt for her to evade my attempts to move her front end over)  I brought her over to the mounting block, and discovered she has learned to move her butt away from the person who wants to get on her. I refuse to get on a horse who won't stand completely still for me.  So, I put off the idea that I was going to ride and went to training her to step up to the mounting block.  I think I need to carry a crop to cue her butt to come over, but I did manage to do OK with with I had. I shook the saddle, put my foot up and down and after about 20 minutes of desensitizing her, I finally sat on her...and then I got off. Then I did that about three more times and discovered that she was NOT going to move, even when I wanted her to.  I also discovered that she doesn't like being told where to go. I barely picked up the reins and she started shaking her head. This is a mild, rub the head on the ground kind of shaking, not the "I'm going to give you a bloody nose" kind of shaking that Liberty does, so it wasn't a big deal.  I found that I had flexion on both the right and the left, which was nice.  I walked around on a very loose rein for about 2 mintues, and then I asked her to stop so I could get off...only she kept backing and backing, so note to self, very sensitive on the reins, or always taught to back up when stopped.  I hopped off her and gave her lots and lots of praise and treats.  She seemed very surprised. I could almost hear her say "where is the rest of my work out"  She was very mild mannered except for one moment in the longing when she bucked up a little...it was like a flea bucking and didn't concern me too much.  I have the chiropractor checking her out before I do any real riding. I'd like to know if she's in pain before I start riding her.

 

Isabelle is now Tonka

We realized tonight that Isabelle was too much of a truck to go by that name so she is now Tonka or Tonks. It just suits her better.

Tonight went more smoothly. I had my stick and she figured put the signals very quickly. She acts like noone has ever handled her from the off side before. I got her to change directios a couple times on the longe ands then she was good to go for the night.

Sent from my iPhone

Isabelle

Yesterday I acquired this lovely lady. Her name is Isabelle and she's an unregistered paint horse.  She belonged to a guy I met last month when he acquired her from city hall after her constant attempts to escape her previous home.  I agreed to board her for him.  He is a nice fellow and has a good heart, but discovered that he just doesn't have time to keep a horse. So, when he offered her to me, I took him up on it.  I don't know what our long term plans are, but she's a super easy keeper. I have to pay the same amount whether she lives there or not, so for now, I figure what the heck. 

The most Hilarious thing

Maggie and I beat Peter home tonight as he had church. I got a shower and I thought I heard Peter come in, but when I looked in the mirror his office light wasn't on and I didn't hear any sounds. I went in the bedroom to get dressed, fed the dogs inside, fed the dog outside and sat down in my chair. I looked to my right and noticed the Sims 3 Ambitions (latest Sims 3expansion pack) and realized that I must have heard Peter come in. So, I got up again, walked into the bedroom, looked for him everywhere...only to come back and find him sitting on the couch, where he had been for 10-15 minutes while I puttered around the house. It was so funny. I could barely catch my breath laughing.

Boot Camp

I went to my first boot camp tonight. This is not my normally preferred form of exercise since it requires running and jumping jacks and other military type drills. Up to now my favorite "hard" form of exercise has been zumba class and weight training.  But I was able to purchase a 4 week boot camp for $40 instead of the normal $180 that it costs the first time, so I decided that was a pretty good deal.  If I want to repeat in the future, it will be $90, which is a lot of money, but probably pretty inexpensive in terms of health in the long run...but I digress...I have to get through this camp first.

Upon arrival I see that there are people of all different shapes, sizes, and ages. There are mainly women, but there are some men.  The website said to bring at least 5 pound weights. I only had 10 pound weights at home, so I brought those. Most of the guys didn't have 10 pound weights, so I knew right off that this was probably a fatal error. But what the heck: it's what I had and now I'm there and I'm going to use them. I made it through the first sets just fine with my weights. I have strong biceps and triceps. Then they had us do these things called angel wings. It's like a lateral raise, only you have to pick up the weight above your head.  The counts on all these exercises are to 25, but it's really 50 because you do two reps for every count.  I made it through maybe 5 angel wings before they turned into lateral raises...which of course I had to do again later.  The instructor, Ed, was really nice, but he told me that I did NOT want to be lifting 10 pounds on my shoulders. I agreed wholeheartedly...tomorrow I will buy 5 pound weights.

The weights were Ok for me though. I'm really pretty strong. What got me were the drills. There was skipping, and shuffling and jumping jacks, oh yeah...and running. I DON'T run. I hate to run...I have always hated to run.  But there I was running...jogging, then walking, but I did finish the drill. I finished last, but I finished.

The poor guy next to me looked to be pretty fit. He was there with his girlfriend who was a skinny little thing.  Unfortunately, looks don't actually mean you are in shape. The girlfriend was in way, way better shape than the guy.  He almost heat stroked and couldn't finish...he had 12 pound weights...next time, I think he's going for the 5 pounders. The skinny girl ended up being my partner for sit ups and push ups. She wasn't encouraging or all that friendly. It could have been that she first was busy goofing around and laughing with her guy about how fit she was...and then later she was worried when she realized how hard he'd pushed himself trying to impress her.  I had wanted to get Peter to do it with me, but I'm kind of glad he didn't. It was really hot out and he might have ended up like that guy.

What I am most pleased about, other than the fact that I did manage to finish, is that Maggie came with me. Kids aren't allowed in boot camp, but it's held outdoors in a park, so she brought Peter's bike and rode the bike trails. She had been at horse camp at Flying G all day so I was pretty impressed that she wanted to get out and ride and exercise.  I'm coming to the conclusion that getting thin for both of us isn't going to be easy, but if we just can stay a little more active than we have been, and eat a little less food, there might be hope.

I also discovered today that there are bike trails just behind the stadium and they are maybe a half mile walk from the house.  I never knew I could get to them back there. I was very encouraged. Now I can take the dogs for a walk...but I'm NOT going to run.

Watching maggie ride

I am sitting in my chair watching my daughter ride. I see things she does that need to be corrected and I am both frustrated and accepting of the fact that i can't help her with her riding. I could tell her but since she usually dismisses my words with and I can't or it doesn't work on Dixie, I have decided to just let it go. This summer I am going to make an effort for her to have lessons with a dressage coach in an effort to give her something i can't do myself. I have given her a few pointers based on what I learned in my last lesson but so often my words do not help.

Update on Theft

My friend Robin's kids were the ones whose kids were with Maggie at Hurricane Harbor yesterday.  Robin waited for the kids to use her daughter's cell phone. When they did, she called the number called and talked to a woman at the number. She told that woman that she was going to include that phone number in her police report. The woman had previously been difficult about talking to Robin, but changed her tune at that point.  Through conversing with the mom, it appears that the girls who told Maggie and her friends that some African American boys were responsible for stealing their stuff, were actually the thieves.  The mom indicated that her daughter told her she had borrowed the cell phone from a friend because hers had gone dead, but then the story changed, so Robin wasn't sure if the mom was covering for her daughter, or if the daughter had changed her own story. Robin told the mom that if she could get their stuff back, she wouldn't include the number in the police report. I'm sure Maggie's money and Sonic cards are long gone, but maybe they will at least get their cell phones back.  Next time, she's getting a locker, or she won't take anything in with her. The locker is way cheaper than losing her stuff.

The morons of the world

Well, Maggie had her wallet stolen at Hurricane Harbor today. I have always been impressed that people were nice about not bothering your things at the water park, but I guess that's changing too. She had some sonic gift cards and some cash, her health insurance card and her combo pass for Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor. They ditched the wallet, but kept her stuff. Her friends had their cell phones stolen. I'm not sure why she didn't lose her cell phone too.  In cash and gift cards Maggie lost $50. I guess that's better than losing her cell phone. She said next time she'll have to rent a locker, but they cost $1 every time you get into your stuff, so that gets expensive fast.  There were some girls nearby who claimed that they saw people going through their stuff. Of course, they could have been lying. Heck, they could have taken the stuff themselves.  If they saw people going through the stuff and they recognized it wasn't their stuff, why didn't they speak up?  People just suck!  Oh, and Six flags?  They told me to replace her pass I had to pay them $20 without a police report. It seemed really dumb to have to call the police, but the police told me it's pretty normal.  So I have a police report and can get her pass replaced for free, but I had to waste the tax payers money.

Relaxing Saturday

Maggie went to Hurricane Harbor today with a friend which has left me free to watch movies alone.  I finally got to see the Blindside which was awesome. I'm now watching Serious Moonlight with Meg Ryan and Timothy Hutton.  So far, this is a funny little film.

I have decided to lighten my load this week. I feel OK today, but I think that doing massage would be really hard on my body this week. So, I'm just going to see music therapy clients and do assessments this week.  I know this is the right decision. If I end up working too hard this week and hurting myself then I will take much longer to be at full capacity and my clients will likely lose patience with me.  This way I can be ready to be back at it full tilt by the following week.

I spent the morning getting an embroidery design ready for my friend Sprite. We're putting it on staff shirts for the Flying G Ranch summer camp. The kids will have the option (or maybe it's required, I'm not sure) to buy shirts in the color that suits their level of riding This way the people in charge of the camp all know which kid belongs in what level.   I was having trouble getting the writing to do what I wanted it to, but I finally got it looking the way I wanted.  now I'm too tired to do the shirts :-( So, I'm going to take a break and watch The Blind Side and then get back to it.

When the movie was over, I took it back to the Redbox (my first time to use it) and got some lunch. I was very shaky and a little light headed. I was surprised because I couldn't figure out why...well, it was 3pm and I hadn't eaten since 9, so I guess I was due. I have eaten and arby's sandwich and I'm waiting to see how it sits on my stomach.  Everyone warned me about eating anything once the gallbladder came out. I need to go feed later, but I am not feeling steady behind the wheel of the car, so I figure I'll wait a bit to go out there.  I am so enjoying my lazy afternoon.

Good Enough to do Myself Harm

I am struggling today with feeling good enough to do some stuff and I'm struggling with making myself lay low.  I haven't done a lot.  I washed a few dishes, paid a few bills and watched Maggie mow the lawn. In a little while I'm going to watch Maggie vacuum the carpet.  And then I'm going to watch Maggie wash the dishes.  I know I'm feeling better because I see dirt in the house today and I wanted to clean it up. 

Maggie's new, treeless saddle came yesterday and she is dying to try it. It's not a name brand, but it resembles the freeform saddle. It wasn't expensive and even if it doesn't work for distance riding, I figure we can use it around the barn for quick rides.  If we like it, I may want one like eventually. I really hope it works for her b/c she doesn't have a saddle to work for distance right now.  My western saddle works great on Dixie, but not good for Maggie as it's so wide. She likes her Wintec but it doesn't work so well on Dixie. It's such a mess. I hate it for her.

I have ridden so little this spring and it just stinks because it has been such a gorgeous spring. Now it's hot! Oh well, I will keep riding this summer I guess.

The dangerous Day

I woke up feeling pretty good this morning. I took only half a dose of pain meds and did the dishes. Made coffee and have been contemplating breakfast. I feel good enough to make Maggie do school work. I am sure she will LOVE that. I also intend to drive over and see my horses today but won't do more than watch them graze. It is my plan to lay low and do nothing for a couple more days. Unfortunately Monday starts a busy, but profitable week. I am blessed.

surgery

The surgery is over and I'm back home. I'm sore and my stomach feels like I'm having a gallbladder attack, which, of course, I'm not.  I figure it's phantom pain :-) I am on clear liquids the rest of today, but can eat to take a pain killer, or if I'm really dying. Tomorrow I have to start eating a low fat diet. If I don't, I'm pretty sure I won't like the outcome.  Thanks to everyone for thinking about me and praying for me.  I'm sure I'll be back on my feet in no time. 

Peter is staying home to look after me today. He is going to the store to get me food..or rather, clear liquids. I can have chicken noodle soup, broth, saltines in a pinch. I can also have Popsicles and sorbet. I can't have any dairy right now.  I'm not really sure if it's to prevent diarrhea or to give the body a chance to heal.

The doctor gave me darvacet and something for nausea, both of which should make me sleepy.

My nurses were so nice. As I was waking up from anesthesia they were great company. The second recovery nurse was named Joy and her son likes to ride. He is thinking of getting into distance riding, so I passed along my name and number.

On Friendship

Friendships tend to come and go through life.  Whether you want them to or not, people you care about tend to move on and little by little you realize that they went from being your best friend to being no more than a mere acquaintance that used to be your best friend.

I'm currently without a local best friend.  It's kind of a weird, floundering place to be. I know lots of people and have lots of casual friends, but I'm used to having one best friend who is my "go to" person. She is usually the person I can chat with about any topic, large or small.  I have known my last, local best friend for almost 6 years.  She lived around the corner...Then she got a new boyfriend, and started working full time, and moved away. Granted, it was only across town, but evidently, it was far enough away to be an issue. We limped along for another year, but the 30 minute versus 5 minute drive was obviously too much for us.  The last time we really spent time together was last summer when she had surgery and I went to the hospital to hang with her and bring her coffee. 

I have recognized where this was going for awhile. I just hoped it would never actually happen, or that the tailspin would be reversed.  Now I realize that we are just two people who once knew each other intimately and are still pleasant to one another, but the actual day to day interaction is really over.  You are not best friends with someone when you are having surgery that they don't know about and didn't offer to help with.  You are not best friends with someone who will never have lunch with you, or remember that you made plans for St. Patrick's day (and then not call to follow through) or won't come to your house ever because it's too far and they are too busy.  Your best friend is supposed to call you at least every couple days...and if you call them they are supposed to call you back...not 1) don't answer 2) answer and say they call you back and then never do (for days and days).  This is not a best friend.

I know all this, yet I keep hanging around, thinking that we'll be friends again. We had a lot of fun, but the relationship has been far from perfect. I am a Christian and she is not.  She thinks the Bible is fake, and I do not.  She makes lots of choices over the years that I have disagreed with and I tried to change her mind, which always just made her mad.  I'm sure we were never actually meant to be friends and I shouldn't have tried so hard.  She lived down the street, our horses lived together and our kids played.  She was a horse person who never rode, and then her interest completely fizzled.  Her daughter was Maggie's best friend, but now she is in HS (two years older and 3 grades apart) and now they don't talk much either.

So, I have moved on...not expecting much anymore, but staying friendly.  I still care about her, but I recognize that while I may mourn, she has moved on. Some days it's hard though. Some days you really need that best friend and it really hurts when they aren't there for you.  Sometimes, it would be nice if she would just be there for me because I asked and just let all the excuses go for just one day, or part of one day.  I don't want to not consider her a friend and have her not consider me a friend...but it would be nice to feel like she was still there to go the extra mile for me occasionally.

I think this really hits me hard b/c I think I'm a pretty good friend.  I try to be there for others and compromise with others. Peter is always telling me I expect too much from others. I'm sure he's right. He must be since I constantly feel let down by those around me.

I have lots of good friends. I have a best friend, Karen in KY who I have known since 1997. I have a best friend Susan, in MO, with whom I have been friends since 1977.  I have lots of great friends in NATRC who I see and ride with and hang out with at CTR.  I have great riding friends.  Maggie and I have Christa and Michaela who suffer from living just a little too far away.  I have Betsy, who is an enormous pool of information on about any subject.  I have my good friend Teresa, with whom I enjoy riding and who made me the proud mom of my dog, Bonnie. I have Amy, who lives in Houston, but I manage to talk and email to almost every day...we just can't see each other b/c of geography. I have some local homeschool friends as well.  I just miss having that one person who always called me first to tell me everything and I reciprocated the same way. Maybe as we get older, having this type of friend is unusual and I just never knew it?

Rain, Rain, Rain

We were supposed to go to a competitive trail ride this weekend but had to cancel due to Dixie having an injury. I guess it's just as well since the ride was later canceled due to flooding. I feel so bad for the manager, who worked very hard on the ride.

I had a client today and then had to drive to Dallas to go to Dover Saddlery. I have had a really hard time finding a helmet that fits. I ordered 2 different ones that didn't fit, so I decided it was time to try several on. My favorite helmet was Tipperary, but they changed the design and then they changed it back, but the ones I had tried on didn't fit at all.  I went to Dover and tried on a Tipperary and it fit great. The only real difference was that it was a medium instead of a small. I was happy that it went so well.

I then had to drive back from Dallas in another rain storm. I am completely whipped. I was so lucky to have Gregg at the field tonight. He fed for me and took care of the ponies, so I didn't have to go back over there.

We're supposed to ride tomorrow, but I'm thinking we have too much rain to go very far.  It's just as well. I sure could use a day to watch TV and catch up on DVD's and counted cross stitch.

I'm so looking forward to Bar 50 the end of June. At the moment I'm renting their living quarters trailer so I can keep away from Maggie and Dixie up at the main part of the camp. I really want to stay up in the cowboy rooms. It's the same money, but the pens are in the sun and that means I'd be up close to where Maggie and Dixie are, so the horses might not be so keen to leave each other. I want to be able to go ride the trails without having to force him away from Dixie every morning.  Now, I still am looking for someone to travel to Bar 50 with me, in which case I would share a room and have someone to ride with, so the issue of getting Liberty out on the trail alone wouldn't be such an issue.  I'm going June 27-July 3 and would love to have company.  My plan for now is to ride, read the Dr. Deb Bennett Birdie book, watch DVD's on my computer, cross stitch, play with my Sims and read a stack of massage journals. I also hope to go up to Hot Springs and get a massage and go to the Hot Springs. I'm a little nervous that I will get bored after a week, but I also think that if I take my ipod and hit the trail with Liberty, I'm likely to have a really good time just wandering about. And, since there is  Wi-Fi in the lodge I can always blog about my days.  Of course, if several people wanted to go there are a couple cabins that could be rented. I have the idea that having a group of people on a fun ride would be awesome, but so far, none of the people I have mentioned it to have been all that interested. some have other plans...one friend might come for a couple days, maybe some local folks will come down. However it turns out, I'm sure I'll have a great time.