Saturday, November 30, 2013

All my worst fears

Last night I had a dream that summed up all my worries for the upcoming NATRC weekend. I have been worrying about what to do with Bailey next weekend. She always comes with me to rides and I don't know if she would be better off with us even if she has to sleep in the truck or crated (we are sleeping indoors) or if I should just go ahead and kennel her at the vets. Then I think about what that will cost and I think how expensive that will be. 

Second I'm nervous about my  first NATRC ride on Fiera. Of course it will be fine. We have don't our homework and she's a great horse but I'm still a little nervous. I don't think it would matter when the ride is the first tone is a little nerve racking. 

So the dream went like this. I was at parrie Haynes Christmas ride and I was riding with Annette and Christa. We had brought Bailey with us and left her back in camp. As we arrived at the first P&R I saw bailey running up the trail to me on the ride. I looked ahead and saw that Peter had driven to the P&R and I asked him to put Bailey in the car since I would get in trouble if she was following me at a ride. Then while doing this at the ride I realized I had to go to the bathroom (the other p in p&r) and while I was off doing that Christa and Annette rode away without me. I guess we finished the ride ok because the next time I saw them we were all at an opera and I ran into them outside and asked them why they left me but they didn't have an answer. Then iniscoveredbinhad Annette's cell phone in my pocket but when I tried to call Christa to tell her she didn't answer. They had left the after ride opera at that point and I woke up. It was really weird. 

I know that my friends won't leave me anymore than I would leave my friends but it was still real and terrifying at the time. 

Dreams are such a strange reflection sometimes. 

Friday, November 29, 2013

Thanksgiving Day

For the second year in a row, we have spent a near perfect Thanksgiving at our friend Annette's house.  Annette is quite possibly the most giving and generous person I have ever know.  She is warm and hilariously funny.  She just keeps telling people to come over and never thinks twice about the extra mouths to feed. Last year there were about 30 people at her house over the course of the day, but this year only about 15.

One addition this year were our friends, Christa and Dan....I'm wondering how to combine that...Dansta? Christan? Christiel? (Christa plus Daniel) HMMMM  Anyway, I digress...

Dan and Christa came up to share the holiday and for me to give her back her horse.  She has this horse, Merlin, who I adore. I love him so much I wish he could live me forever...even though he's a little special and need some psychotherapy, I love him to pieces.  (he doesn't need anything more than a consistent  person to ride and love him and pay attention to his sensitivity. He is still for sale and I will recommend this gorgeous boy to anyone who might be interested in an appaloosa) The only reason he is I had had him at my house trying to help him find a home but it didn't work out and he had to go home...more about Merlin later because he had an interesting day.

We were running an hour late because of picking up horses, turkeys being cut up, rolls being made....all the normal things that make a holiday exciting, festive and otherwise nerve wracking. But sweet, funny Annette was all like no worries, glad you're here, never a frown. Have I mentioned that woman is amazing. 

We feasted on the usual foods of turkey and green bean casserole. I was proud of myself for not over eating and I discovered that the sweets didn't taste as good to me as they usually do. I ate a few slivers of apple pie, pumpkin pie and pecan pie but I only went back once for each course and was more than satisfied. Annette made a beautiful layered salad that I did not eat enough of. 

After the food Christa took a nap, the guys watched football and I decided to ride Fiera. I had had it in my head timeouts be fun to putz around Annette's place on my mare but nice I got out there it started to seem like a bad idea. I saddled her up and got her equipment ready for her debut next weekend at the NATRC ride but then my nerve failed me. She was actually remarkable calm when looking at all the new things laying around Annette's. I was proud of her for only mild concern when bailey scared up the ducks behind her and Annette's daughter and her friend doing wild jumping with a leaf filled plastic bag on the trampoline (we actually played with her with the bag). What got me was when I was ready to get on finally and her buddy Merlin started running aroundand around. Then Annette's horses noticed for the first time that they had company and they started running around.  She actually handled it well. It was me that was chicken. Suddenly with all the commotion riding seemed like a bad idea. So we did ground work. I lined her up next to different objects and practiced gettig ready to mount. We took a long walk around and longed and she was very attentive. I'm sure that I could have ridden we and been just fine. It just didn't seen like a good idea. So I put Her away. Immediately the girls went inside and Merlin quit running around and I felt silly. But hey, I didn't get hurt an we kept our faith between us so I think it was a good day after all.

I sat and watched the football game, chatted with friends and crocheted with friends until it got dark. Peter started to get tired so it was time to go home.   We got Fiera out of the pasture and she loaded up with no problem and we took Merlin went into a pasture with the cows....and then he promptly busted through and ran to my trailer holding his girlfriend.  So, in the dark and the cold six people went to work on a fence and securing Merlin for the night. He ended up tied to the trailer and the fence got fixed well enough to keep the cows in for the night.  I think Christa thinks my horse bewitched her horse, but I swear that wasn't what happened at all. I believe that Merlin and Fiera will miss each other quite a bit, but I think it's better for Fiera over time. As attached as they were things might have gone south in the herd bound department.

Merlin was just a joy to have in the pasture. He is so easy going with the other horses and he is just a joy to be around. He needs to find his one special person. I wish I had the time and resources for it to be me.

The day was sad because there are folks that I would like to see on my holidays and it just isn't working out. There is a rift and I'm at an impasse right now and don't know what the answer is.   What started as me wishing I could take a break for a little while, has turned into two months of silence.  The only way to put it right is to apologize for something I didn't do and I have done that so many times in my life, that I'm done apologizing for things I never did wrong.  I pray daily that the answer will become evident, but for now, I'm keeping my own counsel. 




Thursday, November 14, 2013

The story of Frankie part one

I have thought for a very long time that I should write the story of Frankie.  He was a terrible awful wonderful dog who caused us great pain and brought us great joy for almost 10 years.  Maggie recently commented that he was the best that dog ever.  The problem with writing stories about Frankie is there is no happy ending.  And, I know that in writing the story I will be subjected to criticism for not doing more for this dog.  The people who know me know that I did the best I could for Frankie. But that will not stop the haters from harassing me and belittling me for his Ultimate end.  In retrospect, I can honestly say that I should never have brought him home in the first place.  But, having realize this very quickly I did try to do right by him and find him a new home.  However, that part of the story comes later.  

Frankie was first introduced to me by a friend from Kentucky.   She had been the president of the dressage club to which I belong when I lived in the Indiana/Kentucky area. I had previously bought my mare, Delicato, from her. She had raised Jack Russells for many years and this dog was not one of hers. I believe the story goes something like this: my friend was asked to pick up this dog from a show him. He was one and a half years old and had been showing but have been replaced in the bring by a dog that was deemed more suitable for showing.  The good news was that he had been raised indoors instead of exclusively kennel raised as so many JRT dogs are. He was supposedly housebroken and very good with children. This is a good thing as my daughter was only six. We had traveled to Kentucky for a Shagya Arabian conference.  My friend was there and told me she has a dog that she thought would be good for our family.

When I first saw him huddled in his crate I knew I had to bring him home. He looked so much like Lacie, who had been such a great dog.  Of course, he was nothing like Lacie. His smile and tail wagnwere a deception. He was so cute. There is no way I could have resisted his charms. 

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Pancakes

Today I decided I would make breakfast for everyone. I don't often get to do this as we are so frequently not home on the weekend and we are hitting the trail at 6am or some such nonsense. I also don't make pancakes very often because in general I find them a pain to negotiate with the pans and the flippers and the mess. But today I decided that pancakes were in order. I have tons of cookbooks that I could use for pancakes, but I always turn to the home,add recipe card cookbook that ingot at my bridal shower for the pancake recipe. 

I received this book at a bridal shower for a wedding I never had. I ended up calling off the wedding but instill had all the recipes from that failed attempt at matrimony. In this book I have recipes lovingly written by the hand of my mom. There are recipes from others as well, but  my mom has written most of them down herself. There is a recipe for chicken salad from the host of the shower and others I recognize from my childhood. My Aunt Hazel had a recipe for crunchy chicken (which I haven't made in ages) and her 'famous' sour cream coffee cake which I have made many times through the years. It occurred to me that with the shelves of cookbooks I still turn to this cookbook for pancakes. And today i was rewarded with Maggie telling me they were the best pancakes ever and Peter ate seconds.