Sunday, May 29, 2016

The real world

I have often fantasized about what my life would look like if I could have had everything the way I want it. I would have enough money, a significant other who wants to be with !e and never gets on my nerves, no one getting me up to run around before I'm ready and no small children waking me up (i raised mine thank you very much). I stead i have none of these things gs and most of the time I am pretty happy.

And then we have days like yesterday

After wishing for company on Friday I have gotten more than I bargained for yesterday. It has been loud, no one is minding and I was told that I had to submit to the will of someone who refuses to submit to my wishes.

What the hell am I doing?

I'm not entirely sure. I do know that I am ready to go back to being alone. I want to watch TV and crochet and have quiet. I want to have adult conversations without children. I love children. I love these children but this weekend they are on my last nerve. I don't know how to resolve it.

Honestly I'm not that torn up about it other than realizing I will never have this 24 hour period back and I'm going to try to find peace today before I send them on their way.

I did accomplish a lot this weekend. I have rearranged and and cleaned and organized. It would be nice to just have some quiet though.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Embrace the rain

This weekend I was supposed to have gone to a competition. I doubt it myself early on before I sent the check because I wasn't sure I wanted to travel. I had a feeling that I should just stay home. However, I love this competition and the location and I haven't seen my friends in a little over a month, so I did want to go. I finally sent my check but then one thing after another happened and it became clear that I really needed to stay home. I have felt crummy all week there's nothing specific that I could put my finger on. On Wednesday I had a small fever but it resolved pretty quickly. I decided that I just needed to stay home.

Almost immediately upon deciding to stay home I began to feel better. The weight of packing up and going to Oklahoma by myself had evidently been weighing heavily on me and I hadn't even realized it. I have several projects I have needed to do but every time I've been home the weather had been bad or I had other things come up that needed to be taken care of. (Of course, as an aside, it is raining like crazy today so some of these projects will have to wait until Saturday or Sunday when it's a little drier.). I have been longing for a day where I could get free sit and watch some television and crochet.

As I found the possibility of four emptied a stretching ahead of me I realize I had so many little things I wanted to do. I have 23 hours of Fixer-Upper recorded on my DVR. Yes, I have seen some of them but I figure it never hurts to watch those again. I want to make curtains for my entertainment center to cover up the Clutter beneath the TV. I want to bring in my lawyer bookshelves so I can put more things away. I am going to finally have a living room and then I can bring the table back into the kitchen where I can have a dining room as well. I might even have room for a deep freeze for some of the food that I have been buying. All of a sudden the possibilities are just endless. Yes, this is mundane and in many ways not fun but these are all things that will help me feel like my life is a little more under control.

I have come to realize in the last 8 months that one of the reasons I was gone so much is that I was so unhappy at home.  Now, in my little house in the country I am so happy to be here but I almost never want to leave. Of course, I would be happy or today if my plans were not disrupted by heavy rain. On the other hand I'm incredibly happy that I'm not driving to Oklahoma and this and camping in this since my trailer seems to have a leak that I have yet to fix.

I slept almost 12 hours last night and woke up feeling rested. Of course I also felt like I could have gone back to sleep but it almost 9 o'clock it seems like I should get up and get moving. Now I'm sitting here listening to it rain hard with dogs and cats surrounding me. I have my computer out to do a little work and I have 3 crochet projects on the bed next to me. I am drinking coffee and contemplating what else to do with my day. The possibilities are endless.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Weekend wrap-up part 2

Due to technical difficulties caused by blocking on my cell phone, I had to finish the story 4 part 1 and start over again on part 2. Disclaimer. As always I am dictating and may or may not catch all of the grammatical, spelling, punctuation mistakes that my voicemail 8. I may leave out words and what I say may come across as very funny it is really not intended to be funny for the most part however as I find these errors I will correct them and again I apologize to those of you who are sensitive to these type of mistakes. You are welcome to laugh at my expense as much as you and if you point out the errors I can fix end of disclaimer.

After Maggie left we had a pretty quiet evening Hallmark made salmon and squash for dinner which is always tasty. He built a fire and went to town for some more fixings. We never made smores but the kids didn't eat all the marshmallows I think he snuck me a chocolate bar for later should I want it and I hit it so that Harrison could not go back and get it without me.

We had plans to watch Blazing Saddles wish I had recorded, but I just heard that I recorded it in Spanish and since I know no Spanish I decided I should probably recorded in English for us to watch later. Call Mark brought fireworks and they were pretty awesome.

His daughter was in a movie this weekend. I don't know why she was in such but she was scared of the horses, did not want to watch fireworks, and only wanted to sit by a television even though we had other things too she did want to go swimming but she wanted to go swimming in her pretty dress. I discovered that I can be pretty bossy and forceful. I also discovered that those she will cry and try to get her dad to do what she wants that if I am calmly for school will do what I asked. And he will usually let me do. It is great progress for both of us. It has been hard though he feels like the women are sometimes means you his daughter not just me as a girlfriend but other women in his life. I believe this is because mothers are hard on their daughters and fathers are hard on their sons. When you are married you have a person of the opposite sex to take up the slack and buffer the hardest. But since he is not married and Katherine has never had a mom there is no one to be hard on her on a regular basis. When his mother is hard on her or a sister is hard on her he feels like he needs to take up for her so it's a constant Daddy's Girls situation. Hallmark is already hard and his son which is appropriate and the women in his life give him a little more slack so he has the balance that Katherine has not been experiencing. I am not a psychologist just like him. Any of you guys who are step parents are free to comment and offer me advice because I have no idea what I'm doing obviously I am not actually a stepparent I am not even really a girlfriend I am just a woman who loves these children even though they drive me insane sometimes but I think all children that we love drive us insane sometimes. I want Katherine and Harrison to know that even if I differ from their dad but I am to be respected and that things I asked them to do are done out of love.  Never, in a million years would I have thought that I would want to date someone who had small children.

On Sunday we were awakened very early. Why is it that kids will sleep late on school days and wake up at the crack of dawn on the weekend? I know this is an age-old question but I still ask it. We got up and powdered about the house enjoyed some television. I had forgotten that I enjoyed watching CBS Sunday Morning. This was a particularly good show as a fixer-upper couple was on and I love them. I fed the horses tried to do paperwork. I accomplished very little. Early afternoon Hallmark took the kids to the river. I stayed behind for some quiet and to work on my paper work I definitely should have gone swimming not only did I miss them once the house was quiet butt I got nothing done and I didn't get all my steps in I also did not work my horse yesterday which I had planned to do. I don't think Indian Territory is going to be one of our most Stellar competitive rides.

We did something we have never done before yesterday. We all watched a movie together. It was Ant Man which was really very cute. Usually Hallmark can't sit still to watch the entire movie but he watches the same movie 70 or 80 times over and over again because he can't watch more than 5 minutes at one time. But in this case he and the kids and I all sat together and watch the movie it was awesome.

One not so awesome thing in the weekend was that they were still there, preparing to go home, when Peter showed up to pick up the dogs. I have them for the weekend while he went to photograph a TTC. I know it was bound to happen eventually but I had not intended to have one of these Awkward Moment quite so soon. I feel his sadness acutely. I can't fix it or change it but I know it was difficult for him to come to my house and see me there with other people and other children and the dogs. I wish that they had gone home before he came just because it would have been less difficult and awkward.

I thought that I was ready for peace and quiet but after Hallmark and the kids went home I had that emptiness you get from having company. Or the feeling you have after all your presents are open on Christmas. It was one of the first times that I've ever still wished they were there when they were gone. Are usually still want Hallmark to be there after the kids are gone but yesterday I wanted them all there. I just covered that kid free television watching this was not what I wanted. I wanted them there to help me pick up wire in the yard and to ride horses in the evening. I wanted them there to share more time. It just didn't seem like there was enough even though there had been Lots. I think we are all happy when we are together and we find ourselves feeling a little empty when the time is over. I ate way too much popcorn and drink a little wine and tried again to do paperwork. I ended up going to sleep early.

I did finally get the paperwork finished but not to the very last minute this morning. Now I am heading in to take baby Jorge to be neutered. Katherine said the cutest thing yesterday. I said I was taking him to be fixed and she said she didn't want him to be fixed because he was perfect just like he was. She and that cat adore each other.

So I have 4 days of hard work ahead of me. I plan to leave Thursday after work to head to Indian Territory. If I can make it all the way I will. If not I will pull over and sleep somewhere in the trailer. I really want Hallmark and his children to come with me this weekend but he says it doesn't sound like fun. I think he's wrong because he doesn't know if it's fun or not but I have accepted that he has said no. The trailer is ready 

one casualty of the weekend is poor Bailey. I had Maggie take-home Hammond so that if Hallmark and the kids came with me I would only have to take Ruger and Bailey camping. However, it appears that they are not going to go. When the kids and Hallmark went home last night she was so sad. Peter took Jay and Susie, Maggie took Hammond and Hallmark took a Ruger. She sat in the driveway and stared up the road for about half an hour and then went and lay in the hole that they had dug and side repeatedly today when I had to leave for work she was so sad and forlorn. I felt terrible leaving her.

Weekend wrap-up

This was one of those weekends that you never want to see it. My daughter came to visit on Friday and while it was too late for us to watch the television we've planned we did have a blast watching Home and Garden television on my newly installed DirecTV. I had forgotten how nice it was to be able to turn on the television and watch something somewhat educational but also mindless. I had also forgotten how nice it was to be able to pause if I needed to think, or back it up if I wanted to see something again.

I would like to be able to say I have accomplished a lot of things this weekend that were important and Earth shattering. However, the truth is I did not Saturday morning dawned bright and beautiful and we wasted time watching the finale of Agents of Shield. only now we have to wait till fall because of course they left us in a cliffhanger.

Maggie helped me to prepare my trailer for the trip to Indian Territory next week. I pulled out the mattresses and discovered that the trailer had leaked badly. This was disappointing because last year I really thought I had my leaking situation fixed. Back to the drawing board on that one. Fortunately comma the day was Sunday so I was able to set all of the mattresses out to Air and dry. I also washed a ton of laundry in my little washer. I have discovered the best way to do laundry in my tiny portable washer is to fill it with buckets from the bathtub and then drain it into the same bathtub. I still make a mess but it is more localized.

Maggie had brought her 22 Rifle and Pistol with her. We went out behind the voice buy houses to practice shooting. We had no target but did have an empty bottle of laundry detergent to Mark our progress. It is very embarrassing to say that my daughter knows way more about guns than I do. I will be rectifying the situation soon. She showed me how to use her father's Walther that she has now named Walter, but we discovered that without your protection it was incredibly loud so we opted to shoot the rifle instead. We sat on the back of the pickup truck. Neither one of us appearing to hit the target. We finally decided that whoever Hit the Target first was to be treated to a pedicure by the other. The very next shot Maggie hit the detergent bottle well enough to knock it off. Excited that I would be buying her pedicure, she went to look at the bottle, only to find that we had both hit it multiple times and there was no way to know who had Hit it first. So we agreed to make a date to buy our own pedicure. We were both gratified to find out that we were pretty decent shots.

Then I got baby cass out in round pen to do a refresher course on everything I learned with Harry, and to add some of the things I learned with Michael to the mix . I do not have a ring rope so I rig something up to practice the pressure around his middle before saddling. There was some initial bucking because he really hates the pressure around his flank but it was way less expressive than two weeks ago and he settled very quickly.  Saddling was a complete non issue. He stood like a rock while I tighten the girth. For the first time I stepped up into the stirrup. He did not stand completely still while I put my weight over his body. But with my lead rope I kept his head turned toward me and he just went in a circle while I lay across it I did this from both sides with him giving to the slightest pressure as I lay on him. I did this three times on both sides and then we called it a day. I figure I have plenty of time and there is no reason to rush. I really want and higher mounting block so the first time I see I don't have my feet in the stirrups. I could be wrong but it seems safer that if I'm going to be ejected I should not have to also worried that I might be drug.

Hallmark and his kids came as I was finishing up with the horse. Maggie and the kids and myself went to the river and swam for about 2 hours.  Note to self it is important to buy water shoes because the rocks in the river hurt. Maggie and I discovered that if we floated Downstream a little ways the water was deep enough and the current strong enough that it would provide good swimming exercise. I plan to do this again very soon. I only wish the river would stay deep during the hottest part of the summer instead of turning into a creek.

Maggie had to go home because her father's birthday was on Sunday.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

What I want

I was trying to find a catchy one word title for my blog post with no success so I just went with what came to mind.

I'm finally living the life I want in so many ways. However I'm realizing that one critical factor is lacking. it's too soon for it to be much of a problem but I still see that it may be something that can't be achieved. I eventually want someone who wants to travel with me. I want someone who wants to go with me even if it's their most favorite thing to do bc they would rather be uncomfortable with me than hanging at home without me. I did meet someone I thought was going to be that guy. I introduced him to friends and took him to a ride but he was not the person I thought he was. that whole episode is bizarre that it feels like I was having one of those dreams that doesn't make sense. I still can't quite figure out how it all happened. one day i thought i had met a really cool person with whom i matched and thr next i realized i had no kdea who he was. but moving on.

it's not that I can't go alone or that I don't enjoy being at the rides alone with my dogs. it's just that sometimes it would be nice to have someone pass the miles with. it would be awesome if that person wanted to ride or even just if they were there when I got off the trail.

in the end it will all sort itself out and I'm not going to stress over it. I'm happy having the opportunity to travel. I'm happy I only have to.ask myself if I want to go instead of having to plan with someone else. I'm enjoying not feeling bad when I go or.havong to negotiate. but sometimes that road trip partner would be so cool.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016


I do some of my best thinking when I am driving in a silent car my mind will wander sometimes your subjects I never even considered thought about I read somewhere that if you wake up with a song in your head to explore what it means. I often sing songs over and over in my head when I'm driving and it intermingles with all of the thoughts I am having.

The song that he keeps coming to my mind is a Liz Longley song called Pieces. It is not on an album or on Spotify. I found it through and online class I was taking. The composer was talking about how they brought Liz Longley into the studio to work on the song with and how she phrased it changed the feel of the song. I liked it so much I had to figure out how to play it and I have mostly worked on the chords.  the song is on YouTube and it is absolutely gorgeous.

The song is about a lost lover. I don't know if the person has just left or if they died, but the girl in the song is very attached to the man. He is gone it talks about how when you love someone it would be much easier if they left all at one time what they don't you lose them in pieces. You must hear this song.

I have people in my life that I have loved but who, for whatever reason are not going to be with me long term. I want them to be. I wish they could be. But I know in my heart that it will never work out. When I hear this song I think of all the little things that make this person special and I'm bored how they can't get their act together to be fully present in my life.  but yet I fully care about this person, I would wager to say even love their not in love. I have great sadness that some relationships can never be fully realized.

There has been another song to but now I can't think what it was.

I have been trying to consider how One lets one of these relationships go. I have tried cutting it off and that didn't work well. the emotions are still there. I have tried being myself apart intellectually and this works better. However I know it some point the intellectual will outweigh the heart. and the worst part is I don't feel like there's any way to converse about I would love to just talk and work out all the details but I don't think that's ever going to happen.

So for now I go through each day taking it as it comes. I do what I need to do to keep my essential part of the safe. I truly have no desire to go out and meet new people at least not right now. I want to just Embrace and enjoy my single life. But I am a little sad for things that cannot be though I admit to Growing less sad each day.

As usual I have dictated this vocally. For some reason my Punctuation is not appearing as it should. So I apologize for bad grammar, run on sentences, and anything else I may not have proof read properly I do promise to go back and proofread it again.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Harry day 2 part 2

A's amazing what a horse won't do if you don't let them. 

This has been his response to me many times. How do I stop my horse from doing (blank)...don't let them. Wow, if it were only this easy. 

Fran and her horse Shiloh. 

I had a fantastic lesson with Cass today. I started out bringing him up early to play with the obstacles. He did pretty well. I backed him through the L. I Walked him over cavellti and walked him over a bridge. When it was time for my lesson we started by walking him through the round pen gate 1 step at a time.  We started out letting him around the round pen. I had meant to let him stretch his legs but I made the mistake of not leaving the pen so I ended up making him work before I truly intended to. I learned that he is very easy to get to be with me. I learned that for Charlie/cass (Val, Ivan Valentino, etc--would someone please help me name this horse lol) he needs very little reminder most of the time to follow me around. I had him with me quickly and he was following, stopping and not crowding me quickly. 

Then we put him on the line and worked on getting him to move around me on the line. We had him walking and trotting and staying with me very quickly so much of our early work has paid off. The big focus for me was to not drive him him but instead to out feel in the line and change his gait according to the energy in my body and slapping my body. I also noticed that he has started to stretch his neck and relax. 

Next we picked up a flag. I have done flag work before but it has been awhile. When I moved in with the flag at first he was ready to stomp it like he used to, but he stopped very quickly. Within a few minutes I was touching him all over with the flag. Then we used tapping the flag on his withers to move him off and then pet him with the flag to get him to keep going. He is such a smart boy. He figured this all out very quickly. 

In all of these things he was mostly attentive but sometimes I had to get his attention back. To do this I had to make an impression on him but not drive him or pull on him or let him step into me. What I discovered that when I'm consciously working on something I'm good at maintaining his attention but that when I'm just hanging out with my horse I have a problem keeping enough focus on my horse so that I don't lose him or that he takes advantage of me.  

Then I asked if maybe we could saddle him. Harry said we could but I might want to use the ring rope on him first. While waiting for Betsy to bring me her rope I worked on getting him to line up next to the mounting block. I discovered the tapping to move forward at the wither came in handy here since I could tap him just to move up a step at s time. He did very well with coming to the mounting block. I lay in him on the near side but not the off side. I'll have to work on getting him to line up on the off side but it will happen pretty easily. 

The ring rope was very interesting and I definitely got a work out. We started with the ring up at his withers. I was to bump him to get him to move off and then let him walk off. To stop I pulled stead in the ring. He didn't care about the withers at  all. Then I moved the rope to his mid section. He didn't like it but he still followed the cue of moving from the bump and stopping from a pull. He did start to paw when left to stand still showing me his displeasure. Over the course of this bumping and pulling the rope slid back to his flank area. Then we had a bit of a rodeo. He bucked very expressively when bumped and stopped. However after about 10 minutes he became good at stopping from the rope and relaxing. 

Tomorrow we will do the rope again and then I'll get a saddle on him. My goal is to then be able to start teaching him to ground drive a little and to understand what steps I need to be ready for mounting. 

Harry Whitney day 1 part 2

Cass is very disrespectful. He crowds, he bites, he is always on top of me whenever you need to do something. Within 30 seconds Harry had fixed it. He told me I was nagging him but not really commanding his respect or attention. Within 30 minutes he was standing quietly away from us and finding out that coming in didn't work out so well for him. For the first time ever I was able to feed him without being crowded last night. All I did was whack the rope on my shoe and making a noise and he went right back to trick is going to be teaching others to treat him the same way so he can generalize his learning. 

One of the things Harry observed about him is that he is so tense. His head his Hugh and his elbows are clamped into his body. One of the things I am to work with is to get him to lower his head and relax. This will create more space in his chest and rib cage. Even after an hour his body was relaxing and growing. He went from looking like a colt to a more mature horse after just an hour of work. This is a body work and posture issue. Improving his posture will improve his relaxation and vice versa. 

I can see how this work will benefit Liberty as well. He is often tense and doesn't pay attention. I'm hoping if I get him more focused on me perhaps he will call less and be less anxious. His anxiety has been costing us p&r's points. If he can out his head down and breathe and release tension his p&r's will improve. 

We also talked about horses who lick and chew or who don't. Sometimes it means the horse is so tense that they can't. But it can also mean that the horse is really ok so the changes caused by licking and chewing aren't as dramatic. He says when the kicking and chewing happen after a release its not near as important  the as the licking and chewing that happens during work. He says everyone gets excited about kicking and chewing and it's not always they big of a deal. 

I was highly impressed how much we learned in the little covered pen. I have always thought I needed to have a bigger space to practice things but it's simply not true. We can learn so much wherever we are. 

Today I don't know what we will work on. It was raining yesterday and if we can get in the round pen  (no rain) I hope to expand on yesterday and maybe play with some obstacles. If it's raining I'll probably try to work on saddling and bridling in the rainy area. I hope to start teaching him to move his hind and forequarter as well as side passing. 

Harry Whitney day 2

Betsy Zimmerman on her new horse Poppy. 

Betsy bought poppy after her mare, April died. She is 8 and was not started. They are working on straightness and helping her give to the reins equally. Harry said that the crookedness can eventually turn into a lameness. In helping them improve to rhis end Betsy is to wait on Poppy for however long it takes for her to give to the rein right. Hardy says the fact that he is sitting here is proof it will happen or he'd be on a horse somewhere. He says people get impatient and that a small but persistent request will result in a change eventually. Poppy spent s lot of time backing around the round pen. I think my mistake would have been to stop the backing instead of hanging in through the rein to get a change. 

Harry's main focus is about getting a horse to change their thoughts. We get the horses to think differently and then they are able to behave differently. 

Roger and Elvis. 

Roger is working on getting and keeping his horse's attention at liberty. 

Harry has a unique rein handling technique. He keeps one hand in the middle and pulls the rope though an open hand. Going left his right hand is in the center and the left hand is open with the right hand pulling the  rope through his left hand. This is more balanced for the rider and more gentle for the horse. This is backward for most riders. We are used to pulling with the rein whichever direction we are going. This rein technique helps the horse learn to let go of his thought, come around and be soft with as little pressure as possible. 

Harry riding Elvis. 

Robert and Valor

Depending on the horse you have to gauge how hard to slap you leg or the horse or even just wiggle your leg. Harry is very particular about adjusting for each horse. There is not a one size fits all solution. This horse is fixated on fences and tries to jump out of the round pen and other pens. To distract Valor form the fence Robert  made the Valor uncomfortable near the fence. He is currently getting hung up at different places in the pen and can't trot around the pen without stopping in key spots. Eventually valor will trot around the pen. Harry says we don't know when eventually is but eventually it will happen. 

Cheryl and Woody

When we haul the horses around all the time the horses don't have to stay with us in their thoughts. They just wait for us to haul them around. When we are soft and and give them time to think about what we are doing then they have to take responsibility for their own changes which makes them more with us. 

Cheryl worked learning to rein softly in the way that Harry reins, the way I described above.  It can be very confusing for the rider but once you start to rein this way the horses get very soft. 

Sunday, May 8, 2016

first lesson with harry part 1

I'm in Lindale with several friends old and new at the Harry Whitney clinic. For who Harry is it's hard to explain but I will attempt. Harry is a natural horse trainer but he is not commercial. He has had a few books written about what it is like to take clinics with him. the author if those books is Tom Moats. I found Harry through a lady who has put on other clinics with Dr Deb Bennett. She came to East Texas when I was first starting Liberty. if it hadn't been for Dr Deb I'm sure Liberty and I would not have been successful. Harry is a protégé of Dr Deb and has been coming to Texas 1 time yearly since about 2010.

the first time he came I brought Fiera for one lesson and we did ground work. The next year I brought ollie to work in his bridling issues (I will say that Harry had no trouble putting a bridle on him and years later we are still unsuccessful )  One year I brought Fiera for 4 days and fell off during the clinic which was unpleasant. Now I am here with Baby Cass to get him a little education.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Melancholy evening

Today has been an interesting day. It started with an extra ride that I went to with Teresa adoration ranch is 500 acres and I think they told me it belongs to Tarleton State it would be a fantastic place to have an NATRC ride but everybody there said the chances of them letting us do that are small.  I figure I will give it a shot though because it never hurts to ask. They served a great barbecue lunch which included brisket and different flavors of sausage.  We got a tiny bit of rain just as lunch was being served but it went by quickly. My friend Gidget had encouraged me to come to this ride so that I could meet people from Stephenville since I now seem to live here. While I did not really meet that many new people I didn't meet one gentleman who had moved here from Oregon to study with a local trainer. I thought it was really neat that he had come here to follow his dream to be doing very well.

As an aside, The longer I am down here the more I love it. The other day when Maggie and I had to register her new trailer at the DMV we were able to walk right in and have service without a weight. They have three people working in the office and everyone was kind and courteous.

We joined Gidget's Team, called the blue  mules, and we found that our team was the largest and got a trophy. Teresa and I outwalk most of the people who were on the trail. We started near the back and ended near the front and very little time was spent trotting. We were very impressed how polite everyone was on the trail and how well educated they seem to be about trail etiquette. We have the opportunity to talk to several  people about both NATRC and Texastrailchallenge Club.

After we came home I realized that I had not prepared any food for the weekend ahead. I am to bring desserts to the Harry Whitney clinic and I had not yet accomplish this. So I ran to the store and bought the things I needed plus some other groceries and of course spent way too much money but that's how going to the grocery store is I guess.

I had thought I would have company this evening but it has not worked out that way. I was torn because on one hand I had so much work to do I did not really want company but on the other hand I had look forward to seeing friends all day long. It has been a strange and melancholy evening. I put on Pandora playing Liz Longley radio. Liz Longley is a recent find of mine. I don't know how to describe her music other than it has a jazzy and sometimes melancholy vibe. The words are frequently meaningful to me and they almost always make you think. There have been lots of other people on this Pandora station and it has suited my mood. The mood is one of wanting someone yet not wanting company. It's a mood of craving time alone yet wishing there was someone here on a similar wavelength to share the evening with. I have been very happy for all the peace in my world but yet wish I had someone to share the peace with.

It's now 10:32 and I'm going to be wrapping things up and going to bed. I am off to the Harry Whitney clinic tomorrow with my young horse to hopefully teach him some better manners and possibly get him ready for riding. I don't know if either one of us is actually ready for that that's why I say possibly. It's going to be a strange week because I will be gone through Tuesday afternoon. I will work Wednesday and then leave with Teresa on Thursday for a Friday Saturday clinic and we are taking two of her paso fino's.

This past week has been especially busy as I saw many of my clients ahead of time so that I didn't have to do missed visits this week. The ones I was unable to see I will see when I return the following week. I did not realize I had both of these clinics the same week or I would've probably only going to one. I love my home so much I find that I don't actually want to be gone all the time.

Unfortunately I still have some paperwork to complete so I will wrap this up for now. I hope to post each day about what I am learning during the clinic.

Monday, May 2, 2016

Fantastic weekend part 2

Saturday afternoon we replace my windshield wipers, did laundry, and then took a long nap. That evening after supper Hallmark told me you wanted me to see a movie called waiting. He told me it would convince me to never send my food back ever again to the kitchen. It was funny and pretty disgusting. By this time it was midnight and I could not believe I was still awake.

Sunday morning I woke up pretty early considering how late I had gone to bed. I had a lot of paperwork to do which I did manage to accomplish sometime before noon. We ate and rested and then got busy removing all of the brush around the big tree outside of our window.  Our neighbor had mentioned that he had seen several copperheads in the brush around his trees and so removing the brush seem like the best answer.

The other big news of the weekend was just bringing an Australian Shepherd / for Hallmark and his kids. Harrison has been wanting a dog. katherine has a cat that lives in the backyard but she and Harrison both would love to have a dog. My neighbor knew someone who had a dog when you get home. He is a 2 year old Australian Shepherd his name is Ruger. When Katherine heard Ruger heard Ruger she thought it sounded cool but Harrison didn't like it. When Hallmark told them that we were was the name of a gun then Harrison thought it was awesome and Katherine doesn't like it. It reminded me that I need someone as a kid who had a horse named Ruger and I never knew it was a good name until I was an adult. In any case Ruger is a fantastic dog. He came over and got along fine with my dogs even when they were a kind of sassy to him. He completely ignored the cats even when they hissed and acted all stupid around him. He is housebroken and he has all his shots. He is black and tan and white. We spent the day with him at my house and then took him back to Hallmark house for the evening. He slept outside and feel the storm came and then he came in and we're Hallmark laid down a towel for him he lay down and slept on the towel.  If he were to flunk out at Hallmark for some reason I would take him in a heartbeat.

The other thing I got done yesterday was to finish organizing my room. Well, is it ever really done be organized? I move my desk down to the room that you sleep then since she is only there two or three nights a week. I have decided I am better off to have a separate office and bedroom. I got the bed that she sleeps and moved not to its final location though. It's one of those things like working a Rubik's Cube. I have to move one piece of furniture to make another piece work and then I have to move something else and so on.

Hallmark's kids will be home this evening and he has completely cleaned up everything in his part of the house. I am pledging time each week to help him and the kids keep it this way because it was so relaxing to sit down and watch TV with no clutter. I know it's going to be an uphill battle but I am determined to help the kids learn how to keep their space neat like this.  I know it's not my job but it's so worth it.

today is full of clients and work. I hope to start riding in the mornings starting tomorrow. Today I actually got my butt to the gym.

Fantastic weekend

This past weekend was the most Pleasant and relaxing that I had a long time. I did almost everything I wanted to do this weekend except for the one thing I should have most of which was ride a horse. However, I accomplished so many things as well as had such a relaxing time but I can't actually be sorry.

There was an natrc ride this weekend in Stillwater Oklahoma. I typically do not like to miss any ride but I just felt like I needed to stay home. My divorce was Final just last Wednesday and I needed a little time to  decompress press and relax. Liberty and I will be back at the next competition which is in a month or so at Indian Territory. This ride is always fun and relaxing because we watch movies and make a long weekend out of it with the holiday.

On Friday Teresa and I went to the Granbury Wine Walk with Maggie. I had thought she could do wine tasting as well but it turned out she could not so I had bought an extra set of tickets for her to use. They came in handy as Teresa and I tried more wine than we should have :-) I bought 3 bottles of wine and some really good blue cheese. I think she bought 20 bottles of wine and some good cheese. We saw our good friend Mark and Becky Rogers of marker Cellars who gave us lots of wine tasting. That continues to say I am one of her number one fan which makes me happy because her wine is my number one wife. We also tried one from a place called Fiesta Winery. I bought a bottle called put the lime in the coconut. It is a white wine with some lime and the coconut. It will be fun to drink when I come off of a hot Trail summer.  I also bought a bottle of there sweet red which has blueberries in it and was very yummy. A new discovery for me. Another chocolate as well. Unfortunately for my wine loving friends I promised Maggie I would not drink these bottles without her so, we need to find a time to camp and drink wine this summer. Or I will have to buy more bottles of these wines so she can have some.

Teresa had a really good time at the wine tasting. Before that we went shopping and we had fun doing that too. Maggie got her dress for graduation and I bought an unplanned outfit that I can hardly wait to wear. I had planned to wear it Saturday night when Mark and I were going to go to let's eat . But we decided not to go.

Did I mention that Teresa had a really good time at the wine tasting?

When we got home super Chef Hallmark made of artichokes, squash, corn on the cob and Festival sirloin steak. And guess what we drink with our food? You got it more wine.

Saturday we all slept in Ann's Hallmark Maggie and I plan to go see a movie. At the last minute he had enough and decided not to go.  Hallmark and I went to see a movie but not the one we had originally planned to see since Maggie and I wanted to see the movie Mother's Day. He and I ended up watching Purple Rain which I had never seen. He said that it stopped and he was right sorry to all Prince fans.