Fiera is weaning

I had just the best time at my friend, Teresa's, house Sunday through Tuesday. Teresa runs Woodrock Ranch and has people in to trail ride and puts on trail events. Though it's a small ranch, the trails are fantastic and very challenging and fun to ride.

Teresa is keeping my foal for me while her mom dries up her milk. I didn't really want to send her away, but Fiera is very bold and I could tell she was going to get hurt if I left her in the pasture in the city. Teresa has a lot of space with hills and rocks and terrain to negotiate, so it was a good opportunity to wean my baby and let her get some experience on terrain. I told Teresa I would make myself as useful as I could and while I was there we moved some hay and did some work that was hard for her to do alone and also we got to ride. I trimmed Freeley's feet...the old boy looks good. He's a little thinner than the summer, but for him that's totally normal. He's not too thin and he seems happy to living his life of luxury. The rest of her horses didn't need their feet trimmed as the rocks seem to keep them naturally trim. Freeley only needed the trimming because his bad shoulder makes his right foot grow funny and it has to be rebalanced every so often.

On Monday we took Cayenne, her 18 month old (now former) colt to the vet for gelding. I had never seen a gelding before and it was very interesting. They used a clamp on a drill to twist the parts off and it was very neat, with very little bleeding. We did find some time to ride in the evening, which was very pleasant. Fiera was fantastic on the trail. She followed pretty well, though Freeley clearly showed disapproval to her being loose, and Liberty worried about her. At some point on the trail, she got in front of us and began to lead the trail. She was wonderful, looking at the path, jumping over logs, really paying attention to where she was going. I was just amazed! She got mad when she bumped her back legs jumping the log.

Tuesday Karen and her kids came and we rode some more, without Fiera this time because it was less safe in a big group. We moved her up to the house where she could hang out with Cayenne and Sundancer. She will be there about 3 months I think. Liberty was fairly distraught and when I brought him home, he kept looking for her. Amazingly, Deli's milk wasn't very prolific. I think she was ready to wean her baby.

I checked with Teresa today and she is going to be letting her out of her pen later today. I wish I could be there to see her run around with Sundancer. He is only 5 and has been at her house alone for quite awhile, so I think he'll be happy to have buddies, even if they are young buddies. Cayenne is locked up for another day or so, but soon they will be a herd of three.

I hope to get down there at least once a month and play with her and take her riding on the ranch. It is so cool to have the opportunity to let her run with the herd on the rocks and hills and investigate her own balance this way. I just hope I can be of service to Teresa and earn her keep properly. There is no amount of money I could pay for my foal to get this kind of experience. I'm grateful beyond words.

Choosing a new horse

I have an incredible dilemma regarding choosing a new horse for Maggie. Freeley has been retired and Maggie needs a horse to ride. Cat and Jena started talking about selling Dixie and Maggie decided that she might really like this horse. She's 14.1 hh, 8 years old, non-specific breeding, but pleasant and unflappable. She doesn't have a ton of training, but is very good natured and Maggie rode her happily at camp for a week. She is $800. Her gaits are smooth, and she really seems to like Maggie.

We have looked at a couple Quarter Horses who have really good bloodlines, though the actual riding just went so-so. I have been encouraged to go back and look at them again before making up our minds (no photos of them unfortunately) They are asking $2500 but will entertain offers. Maggie loved their smooth gaits, but the gelding, age 10, bucked when she cantered b/c he didn't want to leave the barn and his friends. Maggie looked fantastic on him though and handled the situation beautifully.

We currently have a really nice Arab as well. His name is Elijah's Elation, known as Elijah. He is 11 and he is sweepstakes nominated. His father was a really great dressage horse and he's well trained and athletic. Maggie enjoyed riding him enough to bring him home to keep riding him, but she thinks she's still stuck on Dixie.

Tomorrow she is going to Jennifer's to work and ride. I'm going to take one or both of them (unless we decide it's too hot) to evaluate them for rideability, relationship and temperament for Maggie to have the very best horse.

On another note: Liberty lost me yesterday for the first time. He was a fuss budget all day yesterday and was just a naughty boy in general. I know that, in retrospect, I was pushing him too hard and riding him differently than I would normally ride him. I have been trying to take more contact, instead of letting him go on his looser rein and only picking up the reins when I need to cue him. He really resents the contact and was fussing with his head all day. It seems like he is less spooking on a looser rein b/c he feels like he can look at stuff better. Add to that, everyone else was picking a really slow tempo/pace, and Liberty gets tired of all the incessant walking. Since Karen was riding a green horse, we had all agreed to stay together and not run off. I figured it was good for him to learn just to stand still. I was riding him in a bosal, which had worked great in Arkansas, but I was also riding with 2 reins and I was just generally in his face. When I got off of him for a few minutes and then remounted, he was better, but I generally had the feeling he was really uncomfortable. I've known for a long time that my western saddle shouldn't work on him at all, but I have been wondering if he's started being uncomfortable and has had enough...unfortunately, I couldn't use my English saddle on him b/c Maggie has stolen it from me recently :-( OF course, it was 105 or some such nonsense and he may just not have been in the mood. Anyway, we hit the dirt and now I have a headache and sore ribs. My hands also really hurt, I guess from hanging on to the extra reins so tight yesterday.

Tomorrow will be a sore day too. I'm trying to find out if I'm going to the STC at the end of week (if I feel like it now) and if so if I will be going alone or not.

Freeley's Last Ride

I haven't wanted to put off acknowledging that it was true, but I can't help it anymore...Freeley is done competing. He was pulled from the Firecracker STC and he hasn't been "himself" for months. Back in March, while he completed the Girl Scout Scamper, he was grade 2 or 3 lame...though a kind judge made it 2 so that Maggie didn't have to suffer through not placing and getting completion only. He has begun to resist loading. He's not happy. I have tried to talk to the folks who gave him to me about taking him back to IL, but I haven't had a response from them, so I have begun to look for a home for him. I think I have the perfect place for him to go too. Lyn Wood, brother of another friend, is going to take him to their ranch to be his wife and kids' horse. He will walk down trails 1-2 times per month and enjoy retirement. It's a good life for Freeley, but it's terribly hard on us. This week I will give him lots of love. Next week I will be on vacation and the week after, before the first of August, Freeley will go live in Bluff Dale.

He has been such a wonderful horse...there aren't words to express how special he is to us. This photo is after I have ridden off on Liberty and Maggie is stuck in camp with Freeley. He was looking after Liberty. She is pretty upset! Not so much about being pulled. She is upset that she knows her days with Freeley are possibly over. He's been lame on and off for a year.

I would give anything to have my own acreage to just turn him out and let him retire!

Of course, the "fun" part is that Maggie can begin to look for a horse of her own now...but really, she would rather just have Deli back and I'm going to see about making that happen. Deli is being checked out by a holistic vet on Friday. I'm crossing my fingers that we can find something concrete to make her whole again.

A new Chiropractor

today I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Ormstrum of Julibee Animal Chiropractic He is a vet and a chiropractor and has a huge inventory of tecniques. I called him b/c Freeley was lame in the STC a couple weeks ago and I have been feeling like it might be the end of the line for him. The chiro says he was out in the neck, poll and hind end, so I will have to wait and see how he looks and how our exercises develop to know what he is going to be able to do. I do have some people interested in either him, or possibly Deli and that would be ok...one less horse for me to take care of but he'd still be mine. Of course, if he's sound, I don't realy want to give him up, but with his history, I think he may be happier with an easier job.

I also found out that Deli had a huge problem in her poll that will probably require a couple more treatments to make right, but he says that everything that is wrong with her "might be" the result of her cranial nerves being frozen. He showed me a reflex point that would cause the lip to droop and cranial nerves to freeze her face. Once adjusted she was a lot better, but he says I have some rehab to do with her. It would be great if she can recover, but he says that depending on how long ago she did it, the nerves may never come back. He said she may have injured it pulling back or when she pulls back, it hurts causing her to pull back more. I'm supposed to give it a week and see how she looks and start doing exercises tomorrow. I'm hoping that she will be "fixed" and Maggie will have her horse back, but I'm afraid to hope.

Supreme Trail challenge

Yesterday was the first Supreme Trail challenge (click on the title to check out the website) and it was a lot of fun. We camped at Seahorse Ranch overnight and rode the trails in the LBJ Grasslands.

First off we didn't pack warm clothes. I had cleaned out my truck and didn't realize that I hadn't replaced the ponchoes and jackets so we were pretty chilly...but we made do. I got up in the middle of Friday night to sleep in the pickup truck b/c I couldn't take the tent smacking me in the 40 mph wind. It really makes me wish I had somewhere warmer and more sturdy to sleep...but all in good time I guess.

The weather was absolutely beautiful once the day began to warm up. We did 20 miles and completed multiple obstacles. Liberty was mostly well behaved, though he had moments of tantrum like behavior. He ate and drank beautifully though--maybe a little too beautifully. I think he has figured out he can stand still if he's eating and drinking. We had to do a gate, sidepass to a mailbox to mail a letter (neither of which we managed too well, but hey, he's green) We stood for a mount, which was good, but not excellent...hoping that if I can finally lose some weight I can get better at mounting. I think I'm doing better, but still not as good as what I would like to do. He finished the day without any bit rubs or back or girth soreness. He's put together so well. I think he's going to be a really good CTR/endurance ride.

Maggie and Freeley had a nice ride. they did some things well and some things not so well. Jena had a good time on Dixie too. Maggie finally got first place...Jena got second. Their scores were very close.

I must be improving in my sensitivity (or getting less sensitive to) people being mean to me. I managed to not even notice when someone was snarky to me yesterday. It was a good feeling to have it pointed out to me that I was right not to like someone I haven't liked b/c they really were mean to me. I guess in a way that's good that I'm getting secure enough not to worry about what other people say.





Here are some photos from my first CTR with Maggie. The photos were taken by John Nowell at the Girl Scout Scamper.





Thses are photos of Maggie with Freeley. This was such a nice shot of them happily cantering across a pretty spot with the reflection from the water


This is Liberty and me trotting across a pasture. He was such a good boy for his first ride.

This is a photo of Maggie, Jennifer and me with our ponies.

Stressful NIght is over--Thank Goodness

I'm finally back home from being at the barn with Freeley. When I left him, he was on the parameter of the fence to his pasture, wishing he was in with his buddies. The vet didn't want him to have any round bale today, so I left him where he could eat grass and hang out, but not eat round bale. He wasn't too happy with me b/c he really wants to be with his girls, but it's for the best. I have several people who will be at the barn today and they said they'd email me or call if he looked bad again. The way he ate breakfast and acted normal, I think he's going to be OK.

Last night while I lay in bed at Jackie's I had a serious panic attack. It all started with some news I received via email while coming home from camping on Friday. One of my clients has fired me based on several things (the agency sent me a late Friday email with the addendum of "we'll discuss this on Monday"--so great, I get to stress over this all weekend) The first thing they said was that I kept canceling her appointments with only an hour's notice and for different excuses. The truth: The client was completely inflexible and on the four occasions I needed to reschedule the appointment I was told no, just to come next week. This last week I had to cancel the appointment at the last minute, which I really, really hated to do, but I had a tree on my garage and I was desperately trying to find someone to cut a tree off my house before it sagged and took out my electrical lines. Another complaint was that I griped constantly about gas pricing. The Truth: I remember having one conversation about gas and it was b/c there was a news story about gas and we discussed it in the course of the news. They said I was only giving 30 minute massages. The Truth: I'm there from anywhere from 50-60 minutes depending on the client. There have been a couple of times that she dozed off very quickly and I made the massage a little shorter than other times, but never under 50 minutes. I know b/c the news is on and there is a clock on the TV when I'm there. They have been signing my time sheets every week, so I don't see how they can say that when they have known the time I was logging in. The last complaint was that I talked the whole time I'm there. This one is pretty goofy b/c they are constantly talking to the kid and pestering her while I'm massaging her. I even documented the chaos in my first three notes in the house, though I quit documenting it as the weeks went on...wish now I had written it every week. These folks talk to me constantly and I have been politely talking back. Sure wish now I hadn't been so polite.

I lay in bed at Jackie's last night thinking about the above and getting more indignant all the time. I worried then that everyone else didn't like me and that everyone was going to report me for being friendly, talking about the weather or gas, or being there shorter one week than another week...though in the long run, I'm typically at their houses well more than the hour I'm supposed to be. On one hand I'm nervous that they are going to be mad and fire me. OTOH I think that maybe working for one agency will be better if they do. I like the kids I see and I don't want to take a cut in my income, but I also worry now that people are making up stories or in the least they are unhappy and just not telling me, but instead just telling the agency that they don't like me without warning. Of course, this is silly b/c I haven't had any trouble with any clients since the beginning of the school year when I let a couple clients go and one mom didn't like my schedule and we couldn't come to terms. I had been feeling like I was pretty familiar with the kids and adults I see now and that I got on with them quite well, but this has disturbed my sense of security and made me question my own every move.

And, I lay in the bed thinking that if the doctor had just given me the anti-depressants I had asked for a month ago I wouldn't be having an anxiety attack over this (ok, that last part is just a joke--see me smiling?)

In the light of day, less anxiety, more irritation at this family. I hate it when I get word on a Friday that there is a problem and that there is no one to resolve it before I have to stew over it for 2 days.

Freeley much better

Today he is much better. When I got up this am he was his ancy , vocal self He ate his half ration of grain and strained to eat grass. I turnwd him out in an area where there was no hay just grass and I am finally getting to eat. Peter fed me about 4pm yesterday but I am starving now! I will then head back to the barn and hang out with Freeley till noon. If he still liiks good I will go home and come back Monday. I am so relieved that he is going to be ok!

Freeley is colicking

I have had a busy day today, unfortunately. Freeley has colic and I spent the day at the barn looking after him. It didn't prsent as a bad colic but it drug on all day so after many consultations with dr. Trish she came out to see him. Unfortunately it was a good call. He has an impaction and was oiled and is currently in the round pen for observation. I am at Jackie's house for the night since I didn't want to make the 30 mile one way trip to keep checking on him. All I can say is kudos to the stable hand who were astute enough to recognize the colic early and who called someone who spoke good enough spanish to be able to understand the problem and call me. I'm not sure the last hands would have told anyone or even noticed! I hadn't planned to come out this weekend and I could have lost my horse. Peter came out and took me to dinner and bought me stuff so I could camp out with Freeley. Then Jackie was nice enough to let me stay in her house. I am heading to bed now so I can get up and check him again in 3 hours.

Another week gone by

Written Monday and then forgotten:

I can't believe I haven't written anything since last Monday. Last week was so busy and I have been so tired at night I haven't written anything. Then I had some asthma flair up, ostensibly from having camped out in the cold night air on Friday night. However, since Peter is sick, it could be that I really am sick with a cold. IN any case, I took today off since I only missed two clients and the rest of the week was busy. I have no voice, and have been piddling on the computer all day. Maggie will be home soon and I'm going to get her started on packing for her CTR. I am planning to let her go out of town on her own to this ride with her friend Jennifer and her dad. I'm now starting to question weather or not I should do this and if I'm really delusional on what she can handle on her own.

Thursday:

The big news today is that it snowed! It has snowed as much as 6 inches so far in some places. I had to leave Springtown early b/c of the snow. They all laughed at me b/c they thought it was no big deal, but if I hadn't left when I did, I would have been so stuck. They ended up letting school out early, so I only missed one group after all. It was just insane.

I was supposed to get my hair cut in the am, see 3 more clients this afternoon....none of that happened. I got my hair cut today (looks great as always) and then I came home. Well, on the way home, I detoured by the Vietnamese grocery looking for a roasted duck. Unfortuantely, they were out, but I bought some yellow fin tuna and made an asian supper that I was very proud of. IT's been a long time since I cooked just for fun. I made peanut butter thai noodles and stir fry veggies and sesame seared tuna. I loved it all, but honestly, the noodles and veggies were just the best.

I suspect I won't be going anywhere much before 10 in the morning. It's supposed to taper off over night and then warm up dramatically. Maggie is going to the ride without me. She's all packed and they hope to shove off by about 6pm. I was going to bathe Freeley yesterday, but I'm glad I didn't bother as it's so nasty today he'd be filthy again.

It has been a really odd week. Maggie has been with her dad since Tuesday after school. Tonight, she is usually home, but went to a birthday party. I will pick her up in the morning and then take her straight to leave on the trip with Jennifer. I have not seen her all week, though we have talked on the phone. She's mentally and physically ready to do this ride, but I'm sorry I didn't plan to go with her. If I had known the weather was going to be too bad to see my kids for their lessons I would have bugged out and gone too. Liberty is ready if I take it slow. We'd have been fine.

Last weekend we went to a trail challenge. Maggie was the only junior and handled herself so well I decided to let her take Freeley to the ride this weekend. I have been torn all week thinking of what instructions to give her, and I decided just not to say anything. She knows how to ride and she'll be fine.

Liberty handled himself really well too. WE climbed an unscheduled hill and he did it great. He only ran me into one tree, but I think he spooked at a hidden judge. I discovered that he loves the water (too much since he wanted to lay in it) and he fidgets alot, but mostly he's going to be great. I have some good riding planned for this weekend too, but I want to be impulsive and just go with them. If I had known the weather was going to prevent me from teaching on Friday (most likely) I would have told the Sunday people that I was going to be out of town this weekend. IT's just not very responsible of me to just grab my horse and take off...but I confess I am tempted. All my stuff is packed. It would be so easy for me to just go for it...mmmm I think I am trying to talk myself into it. The ride sure does need the entries.

A Lovely Day

Maggie made up a poem about our cat catching a rat:

Kitty, Kitty
Goody, Goody
Pouncey, Pouncey
Mousey, Mousey

I thought it was cute.

I started the day with breakfast with Jackie. She took me out b/c I have been working on the website. It's not a great website, but it's still nicer than the old one was with new pictures. Then Jackie and I came back to the barn and we rode together. I had some new students drop by and I just sat on Freeley and chatted with them a little while. It was really nice.

Freeley seemed so happy to be out and be ridden today. He was alternatively perky and lazy and we had a nice time.

I had some clients to see after that but I got to come back and ride again in the evening while Maggie rode Deli. I rode Liberty and Cat rode Bobbie, one of our lesson horses. I told her that she should sell Merlin and buy Bobbie b/c they were well suited. Bobbie is a great lesson horse and she could probably get a cut on her board as well! Liberty didn't have a single temper tantrum tonight and he was really good. A couple of times I had to remind him to do some things differently, but he seems to be settling into the idea that working is easier than being a brat. I have been using a martingale, but the one I used tonight was too low set. I like the stretch rubber one better, or I may use my running martingale, but the Arab Martingale was too restrictive. I'm just so proud of how he's coming along.

Maggie is going with me to the trail challenge this weekend after all. The lady who had scheduled the lock in for the cheer leaders changed her mind or something. Suddenly it was tentatively scheduled and it's been put off for 5 weeks. No one else thought it was tentative. I was so angry. This person is always making plans and then changing them, often at the last minute and whenever I have gotten mad about it she tells me that I'm throwing a tantrum and she won't stand for it, or that I'm crazy or something. It's never about her lack of good behavior. This is a woman who bought her kid a horse and then was too lazy or busy or something to let the kid go ride. So, they moved the horse closer and they still don't take the kid to go ride. Now they found someone to freeload the horse at their place, and they still won't go ride. I love the kid...one of Maggie's friends...and we're always asking her to go riding with us and they won't let her come with us b/c they think I'm crazy (not crazy, just incredibly pissed off at how inconsiderate this woman is and how everyone else seems to tolerate it)...Me thinks I am not the crazy one.

Now, to be fair I'm sure they are busy and I know that horses aren't their thing but only the kid's thing, but I don't get how they can let the kid get a horse and then be ready to sell it less than a year later. Maybe there are things going on that I know nothing about, but I have been burned too many times after making plans to find out that mom's had a better offer, or something came up. I have never forgotten about the time I planned an elaborate camping trip to go try a horse for them to have her tell me 2 days before that something had come up and she couldn't come and I would just have to deal...I had several people arrange their schedules for that to have her blow all of them off. That was the first time and I hadn't learned the ins and outs of that relationship at the time. I won't bend over for her anymore.

I had been trying to get back in the mom's good graces all year so that the girls can play together, but it's not happening. The last time I let them play was at their house and she had a fit when I asked her to meet me to get Maggie back. I even said that I would do all the transport from now on, but they still won't let her come to my house. So, they will just have to be school friends. And I'm torn about saying anything directly to her about the school fiasco b/c I know it will do me no good. She'll just tell me that my kid misunderstood about the lock in being a definite thing and how I'm crazy b/c I make a schedule and want to keep to it. (Unlike this lady who never will plan anything!)

Ok, enough ranting. It's time for bed and I can't change anything.

Good Week of Riding

I had my first dressage lesson on Liberty on Wednesday. My lesson was with Danielle at Turning Point Farms It was really great and I learned a lot about Liberty and myself. Problem is that I learned that he is kind of a weasel. I have been riding him all soft and light and thinking "poor little guy, he's new, he's confused" Only, it's not true. It's more like "poor little Alice, I have put one over on her big time" I know part of it was b/c we were in a new place, but we would start around the circle and every so many strides he would tuck his nose, throw out his shoulder and take off in another direction. WHAT THE HECK??? So we started an exercise of having him circle in a 5 meter circle off the big circle in the problem locations. I had to really move him off my leg to get him going forward and not get stuck. The good news is that he is moving off my left leg now where he wasn't before! The bad news is that he still doesn't actually want to make a whole circle to the left. I'm convinced it's a balance issue. I think he gets upset b/c he feels out of balance and tries to right himself in the wrong way, so I spent some time working on bigger circles tomorrow with better results, but we have a long way to go. We did these exercises at the walk and trot and he got tons better for me as the lesson went on. Then Danielle got on him at the end and darn if that little guy didn't do everything to her he had just done to me even though we had spent an hour riding him! What a stinker! We spent an hour working on one exercises and I went home with instructions to longe him in side reins and to do more of the same work. I"m to work on keeping my hands lower and I have added a martingale to keep him from giving me a bloody nose!

Today is a big day! Maggie and I are taking Freeley and Liberty to the grasslands and he's going to go a "Real" ride. I have control over him. I can stop him, back him, rate him and turn him. It's not pretty but I have control I haven't decided what tack to use yet but it will be good whatever I do. The English saddle fits him much better, but I liked using the rubber training fork for the head slinging and I"m not sure I can hook that up with the English breast collar. I also don't know if the English saddle is going to be comfortable for 3 hours yet as I haven't been in it that long. I think it will probably be fine, but I"m not sure. So, I'm doing what I always do in moments of indecision: I am taking all my tack and will decide there!

Peter is coming with us to hike and hang out so I have to get moving or I won't be there in time to ride with my friend Nancy.

On Feeling Left Out

Today was a beautiful day and I wanted to ride...only I had to teach a lesson at 2pm. It's supposed to be a father and daughter but lately it's been just the daughter. I love this kid and I like her dad really well too. I like them well enough to forego trail riding with friends most weeks to see them and teach...but today I was feeling really sad and sorry for myself. I found out that two of my friends were off to Decatur and I hadn't been invited b/c they knew I had to teach at 2pm today. No one was at the barn with whom to ride. I have been delegated to teen trail riding babysitter. The friends I used to ride with all the time are no longer available when I am able to ride. I have tried to rework my schedule to get my social riding friend fix, but so far haven't been able to figure out how to get it done. I have been keeping my own schedule and going out to play with my horses at least 2 times per week alone. I like being out there by myself, but sometimes it's odd to be out there all alone with no one except stable hand around. I can't ever get Cat to go. Her reasons range from no gas money to just don't want to. So many people I know out there work during the day and they just ride on weekends or at night, which is when I'm working. Even if I weren't working, I have begun to make an effort to be home at night so we can be together as a family...honestly, there are many times I'd rather be at the barn at night b/c it's when everyone is there, but I know Peter likes us home, so I keep that schedule. Susan and Bird went riding today and I couldn't go. They were actually being nice not asking me since it was their belief I couldn't go, but I feel so left out of things. Every Sunday at 2pm I teach these 2 lessons and it's when everyone is off riding. Most of the time I just accept that it's my life and i really like teaching and being with the students. I just felt like today I had traded all my freedom for $20. I was just feeling so lonely and left out. I feel like I'm in this huge transition period and I know where I've been but don't know where I'm going. I want riding friends who are my friends and love to go riding. I don't want to have to beg someone to ride with me. I want it to be like it used to be when I had more people to ride with and more places to go than I could keep up with in a single day. I really miss seeing Susan every week or every other week.


I'm hoping to get their lessons changed to later in the afternoon so I can have some social riding time and then come back and teach. It was a good lesson today. I worked with Maggie and Emily on negotiating better hills and they did great. Emily is doing fantastic on this horse, Bobbie. I wish her folks would let her have a horse of her own as she would realy excel I think. Bobbie is very laid back, a little on the slow side: perfect for kids!

I tried to talk Mary into going to the trail challenge with me...but she let me know that she just doesn't camp. I'm so bummed b/c Maggie is going to be at the cheerleader's lock in and I can go by myself and have an adult weekend...only I can't get anyone to go with me. I don't know if it will be more depressing to go alone and be alone all weekend on my own, or if it will be worse to just not go.

I don't guess we're going to the Scamper either. Maggie just doesn't want to ride Freeley in competition. I can't understand it. He's so awesome and I know if she would just ride him they could be a great team. But, to be honest, he was a little off today. His canter wasn't right. He's just missing some of his get up and go...he's almost 19 and he shouldn't be "old" but he's starting to feel like he's slowing down. Maybe it was just a fluke today, but he just hasn't had the same motivation the last few times I've taken him out. I feel like his heart just isn't in it these days. I don't know if he's just hurting and trying to fake it and pretend he's not hurting, or if he doesn't really like Maggie riding him either. I think he's a little jealous of Liberty, but since Liberty actually seems to want to hang out with me, I admit that it's easier to grab him and play.

I have got to get over feeling so down. I can accept that part of it is just hormones, but I can't drag on being this emotional much longer. I've been sad the last 3 days thinking about all these things...Maggie is growing up and would rather ride with her friends. I'd rather ride with my friends too, but don't seem to have any that are free. I feel like I could just go in a corner and cry and cry. I hate feeling like that. I hate crying and having no one comfort me and I hate crying when there is anyone around...quite a contradiction. What I mean is that I could cry right now and I am home and feel like I wouldn't be comforted, so if I can't be comforted by someone at home, I would rather just cry where there isn't anyone to see me, so I don't feel quite so ignored. He's not ignoring me to be mean I'm sure...I just don't think men in general know what to say or what to do when women cry, so ignoring us is so much easier. Or I get told what it is I have done to cause this situation myself, or how I should fix it, when the bottom line is that I'm just sad and needing to be held while I have a good cry.

I usually ride on Monday, but weather.com says it's going to rain, so I guess I will come back home and do paperwork tomorrow and Tuesday. Hopefully I can ride again on Wednesday. Jackie and I were going to ride tomorrow, but she has other things she has to do, so I'd be on my own again anyway. It some how feels less lonely to be home alone than it does to be at the barn all alone. I'm just so tired of feeling blah.

I have no idea

I'm sitting here realizing it's been about 10 days since I posted anything and I don't really have a theme for today's post. Maggie is sick today and we've been home today having a lazy day. She didn't have school anyway b/c it's Martin Luther King's Birthday, so the sitting around is appealing to me. I'm not sick, but I really am very tired, though i don't find it easy to nap during the day anymore. I'm sure I'm just tired from the travel, but I know I'm also tired b/c it's winter and I get this way. I don't know if I'm really, truly depressed or just kind of blah. Lack of exercise will do it, and not getting enough sunlight. I just feel cranky and tired. I really like working, yet I start every day and end every day tired. I feel like my fun factor has really dropped and I don't honestly know how to get it back. Being between tears and anger all the time isn't fun. I just want to feel like me again.

Maggie and I went to the region 4 NATRC convention this past weekend. We took 3 horses with us. I got to ride both Liberty and Freeley. Liberty did great, but it showed me where we still need work. He's still not completely stopping when I want, but the head shaking has gotten much better. I realized that he's doing everything I taught him, but I need to turn down the volume to get a more mellow reaction. He's almost trying too hard. Once I get a better whoa out of him, I can start riding him out more. He's still rushing the hills, but I almost think I'm going to just have to hang on and let him figure those out on his own. He goes down fine ponied so it doesn't seem to be a matter of not being able to. I think we both get nervous and then I clamp down on him and he speeds up so we are feeding each other. everyone told me how cute he was, which of course, I really liked! Maggie rode Freeley in the obstacle class and they had a pretty good run.

Maggie got an award for 6th place horse with Brody and they got the team combo award for the year. It was pretty cool to have her get that and I was really grateful to Jackie for letting Maggie ride him. She really misses him and I wish she'd let them ride again, but she has decided to use him for more cutting type work and doesn't want the kids to mess him up.

I can't decide what I want to do for NATRC or AERC this year. I got to thinking that going to an endurance ride would be fun, but I know Liberty isn't ready yet. Maggie was going to ride Joe Bear, but after this weekend she isn't sure she wants to. He kept yanking on her. Of course, if we're going to do an endurance ride we can theoretically go as fast as we like, so I keep going back and forth. I don't know that I want to drive to Houston and do the ride and then drive home alone...I just feel so tired of the driving and I want to pay off bills so we can get out of debt, which means not driving so far to rides. My original plan was to do the AERC ride in February and then a trail challenge, which I hoped would be Liberty's first ride...just a lot to think about. The NATRC folks really acted like they'd like us to come to their ride. I'm going to have to wait I guess. The good news is that if we go to the ride in Houston we can stay over till Monday and then come back, but then Maggie will have to turn around and leave 2 days later for her vacation with her dad and I don't think she wants to do that either.

I almost wonder if we should hang up competing and just ride for fun this year, at least till Deli's foal comes. I'm thinking about what will happen with the money for Deli's foaling if anything goes wrong and I feel like I should build up a pile of cash and lay low.

Well,I do feel better after writing in here. Not sure why, but my dread for the day has lessened. I'm just tired and I'm always tired after traveling. I just want to be happy again and I want to understand why I am not happy.

Busy Few Days and now Vacation over

I have had a busy few days and now vacation is over and that's making me sad. Today I jump right back in with a full day of clients to start seeing again. It will be nice to return to money making, but it was fun just to play. I did get a good ride in this weekend on both Liberty and Freeley. Unfortuantely, Cat had another not so good ride on Merlin and now has broken ribs. More details to follow...

LIberty and Freeley and riding for fun

I decided that since Cat and I do so much stuff together, she needed her own tag. I have no idea if she reads my blog or not, so I try hard to never say anything bad (just kidding). She is someone I spend a lot of time with and finally we have been able to ride together. I was trying to find a photo of Cat, but all I can find is a photo of her horse, so I include that too. Merlin is a percheron/andalusion horse who may be my CTR companion for the first half of this year. As you can see, he's kind of a big guy!

Cat and I went riding the other day. WE went out on the trail and Merlin, being the goober he is, decided to jump the first ditch and then commence to bucking when Cat didn't keep up with him. So, he ran home and we walked back. I feel off of him the same way the day this photo was taken. He's just really sensitive about his flanks and he wants to buck whenever he gets scared. I'm hoping some mileage will fix it. I know that if I fall off too many times I won't be keen to ride him much!

I have had some success working with Liberty in the past week. I went back to basics and groundwork. Renee helped in a couple lessons, but I have decided for myself that i like the longe work better. To me all the free longing just made him want to run and I like being connected more. So this week, I got him out and worked him in hand and then we went on a walk to explore scary things. He's a naturally curious creature, so it was more fun than scary all along. We ponied one day and he did that great, taking all his tips from "big brother" Freeley...but as in the above paragraph I had to come back early due to misfortune.

Today was my anniversary. Peter and I have made it 5 years this time and I think we're pretty happy (at least I am, hope he is too) We had massages and went to lunch at The Sanford House in Arlington, TX. My massage was just wonderful, though all too short. I've come to the conclusion that an hour just isn't long enough. Maybe I'll get an hour and a half next time. My massage therapist was named Adriana and she had a really nice pressure and didn't do a ton of kneading. Lots of slow pressure...unfortunately, I tend to stay too tuned in b/c I like to remember my experience...next time I'll try to drop off more. They have a Thai Massage I'd like to try next time.

Lunch was good, but not as fantastic as I'd hoped. I had beef dish that was rolled up with Feta Cheese and a nice sauce. I liked how the flavors blended together, but it wasn't spectacular like I'd hoped for. I'd eat there again as it was a nice place and the food was pretty good, but I was a little disappointed. On the menu they have a grilled cheese sandwich that sounds to die for...maybe that it is the way to go.

We've been home since playing on the computer and chatting. I may go give a couple massages tomorrow and read, or i may spend a lazy day at home. Hard to decide at this point b/c the weather is supposed to be fantastic, so it may be hard to pass up the outing. I had hoped to sit and read all these magazines that are in my basket and watch a movie, but I'm not sure I can keep myself indoors all day.

I want an Alice of my Own

Well, my kitchen is now clean. I scrubbed it, baked in it and then scrubbed it again. I want an Alice...you know, Alice from the Brady Bunch. She cooked, she cleaned, she was always there to watch the kids...I want an Alice. Then Peter and I would never have to fight again about housework b/c Alice would be doing it. One room down and a few more to go before Christmas arrives.

Today I was able to stay home for the entire day. I have spent most of it on the computer, doing paperwork and paying bills and reading email. My new addiction to Sims 2 has affected my correspondence with my online friends! I made scones for Maggie's medieval party at school tomorrow. Shawn and Maggie will come by and pick them up any minute. They turned out pretty good and I managed to protect them from the dogs!

Christmas was supposed to be slow and relaxing this year for us. It was going to be just family here at home. Partly we planned it this way b/c it's an "odd" year (2007) so it's one of Shawn's years to have Maggie for the holiday. He planned to take her to the HIll Country to see his folks starting th 26th. Then we found out that Mizzou is in the Cotton Bowl and Dad and Shirley are coming down for that. Then I found out that Sara, Peter's sister is coming down the weekend before Christmas, possibly with his mother, which again changes things. If his mother comes down, I suspect she'll be at Nick's house, but we've already planned dinner here at home and invited Alexa to join us. So, I guess we'll invite her here for dinner, which means I have to clean my house a week sooner.

Nice thing about Dad and Shirley coming is that they won't be over here much since they don't like the pets...of course, I'd like to host them in my home. I found out that Shirley's kids are coming down to the game too, so I'm wondering if they're all staying at the same hotel and how much of our activities will center around them as well. I'm pretty jealous of time with my dad b/c I never get any with him alone. I wonder if the weather is nice I can convince them to come watch us ride just one time? My dad has never seen my ride my horse, nor Maggie hers. We're sharing his thing (football) It would be nice if he could be open minded and share mine...but I'm not holding my breath.

Then to make things even more complicated, Shawn forgot to put in for the days off and can't have her until the 2nd for his trip with her. This is fine with me since all of the other family is coming to town, but it's bad b/c one of the reasons we told Mom we couldn't come was b/c of Shawn and he's bugged out. I figure it's better to let her know now how it all went down b/c I hate for her to think I planned it this way. I just knew it wasn't a good year to travel and it looks like my instincts were right on. Too bad my mom can't come down here too since everyone else seems to be. It's also too bad that Eric doesn't have tickets to the game. It would be great fun to have his family here!

The change in plans sets my goal to redo Maggie's room back a week, but it give me an extra week to get the wall paper peeled off. I wanted to get her to take off the wallpaper so I could repaint her walls as a surprise while she's gone. Not really a Christmas present, but redone nonetheless. I want to take Peter to look at a bed she's interested in changing to. She wants a double bed instead of her singles now.

Playing catch up: Freeley was lame at six O and we had to pull. I had a vet look at him on Monday last and he said that he was “post navicular syndrome” which means he’s lame in one heal for no apparent reason and there are no changes on his xrays. This is good and bad news since it means that they aren’t finding anything wrong…but he’s still sore. WE put him on a round of bute and another steroid anti-inflammatory. After 5 days he’s much better. I had already pulled the shoes I had on him temporarily as he interfered so badly that it wasn’t to his benefit to stay shod. His soles are very thin, which I believe is part of the problem. Not sure what to do except to easy boot every time I ride, even in soft terrain. Of course, I did that the last hard ride I had before this lameness and he was lame anyway, so who knows? He’s getting rest right now and I will continue to trim him with him. OH, and the second vet says he’s not rotated at all, which is great news!

Maggie got sixth in horse and rider out of sixth on Joe Bear. We're happy though b/c she finished! She and Joe were so much more comfortable together...though Maggie will tell you that Brody was tons more fun to ride and more comfortable too. She says she really misses him, but I honestly am not sure he's great for her to ride anyway. He's young and while good natured, can be a little frustrating. He needs a more consistent rider and she's not that consistent right now. Heck,she's 10, so it doesn't worry me much. I found out that she and Brody placed 6th in the region as a team and he got 6th in horse. We're going to the convention, but Maggie doesn't know she placed, so it will be pretty exciting. Next year I"m planning for her to start competing Freeley and I will start competing Liberty. However, if he's not ready in March we'll fall back to Joe Bear for her and Freeley for me.

I'm going to change my account settings back to allow any poster to post comments again. However, if someone posts an anonymous comment, I won't publish it since I'm not crazy about publishing comments from people who won't admit who they are. I have plenty of room for dialog and don't even mind a discussion, but not without an identity.

Where has the time gone?

I didn't mean to go so long without posting, I've just been so busy.

After being sick for a week I then had to make up all the work that was left undone while I was ill, so last week was extra busy. Then at the end of the week, Maggie and I had plans for one last CTR at Horsemasters, in East TX.

The best part of the ride this weekend was that Peter managed to pull off a big surprise! He drove down to the ride and met us at the first P&R. I was really shocked b/c when he didn't come on Saturday, I figured he was going to skip it. I didn't blame him really. It was 150 miles one way. There was no need to spend the gas money just to come hang out. But when I got to the first P&R I did a double take and there he was. I threw my arms around him and starting kissing him and hugging him madly. It was way, way cool.

The guy next to me in line, Mark Carter, missed the introductions. When Peter went down the line to talk to Maggie, I said something about my husband. He said "that's your husband" I laughed and asked him who else I would be kissing in the woods on my birthday. Mark said he didn't know for sure since he didn't know me that well and perhaps I was meeting my boyfriend (not exactly, but I can't remember the exact wording) He was kidding. So, when Peter came back through I introduced them and Peter joked about not telling my husband that he had come to see me. It was funny.

Too bad Freeley had to ruin the fun and good intentions by mashing Peter's hands. There goes Orchestra for a few weeks. Having him come was just the best birthday surprise!

It was great to have him in camp to help pack up and just hang out. I made the mistake of getting in the check out line way too early and blew precious time from my afternoon that I could have spent hanging out with Peter.

This ride was not one of our more shining moments. The weather was beautiful and Freeley was hyper all weekend. Maggie wasn't as overly sensitive as she was at Bigfoot Boogie, but she was not as relaxed as she had been at the benefit ride. I did not like the way the horsemanship judge talked to me or the girls. I had no quarrel with her message to any of us. She has an opinion of how things should get done and I now have more information about what she expects in the future, but all of it felt very patronizing and snotty to me.

We got fussed at for wearing our sandals in camp. I pointed out that we would never wear sandals to the barn, but that when you're camping you are in your "home" for the weekend. We came over to the horses b/c the judges were there. It wasn't like we were running around, frolicking with our horses with our sandals on. The girls were told they hadn't groomed their horses well enough. I saw them bathe the horses, so I wasn't sure what the problem was, but evidently they didn't do a good enough job. Some judges care more about baths than others. Jena called her horse an idiot for not doing something and was docked 2 points. There is some question as to whether the judge said to Jena, Maggie's friend, that her horse wasn't the idiot. I'm still looking for confirmation on that one. In any case the message was fine, but the delivery wasn't and I'm still not happy even after a few days. Riding safety is looking really good right now.

All of this brings me to the dilemma of Liberty. If we are going to back off NATRC for the next little bit, I don't need him. I like him and I'm having fun with him, but I don't need him. Maggie has never committed to riding Freeley yet and I"m not sure that he will behave for her in that setting anymore than he does for me. I just don't have a clue really. He might be perfect for her in that setting and he certainly has enough experience to be a good boy and take her down the trail. In any case, if they thought Brody was too green for Maggie, Liberty is no better, but he is smaller, which is a good thing. It will be 6 months at least before I'd trust him with Maggie on the trail and based on what everyone else tells me about kids/horses, maybe I should wait even longer. I see a different kid with a different set of skills than others see and I'm wondering if it's time to see her through their eyes...which isn't easy to do.

Originally before Deli was lame, we were going to do a few of the colder weather rides and then take the rest of the year off till the foal came and then start riding Deli again. WE don't know if Deli will ever be able to do NATRC again or not. Some people say that Ringbone can go away and she may be fine. Others say that to do NATRC is probably out of the question and chances are they will always be looking for her to have problems. We can do trail trials, but they don't happen that often. They also don't check for lameness.

Many of my friends think that even Deli is too much for Maggie. They don't see her when it's just us having fun. They have only see us stressed out, in a group. I don't know if she is or not b/c she certainly wasn't this summer when we were in Arkansas.

I just don't know the answer.

I did figure out the cost to keeping Liberty each month. For the first time in my life I find myself wondering if the new furniture I'd like to have wouldn't be a better idea.

I have one more week to decide. I have to get several rides in so I know. He's such a cutey and a good deal I know he'll make a great horse. But, I do already have some great horses.

So the question is, change sports (don't compete) or get the horse that will let us compete if Maggie will ride Freeley. The problem is that she will tell me that she will, but I won't know if she's sincere until after I buy the horse.