More travels in Missouri (AKA, the Missouri Tour 2007)

Sunday afternoon I was frustrated from being sleepy and wanting to read. I really enjoyed my entire visit with Susan and her mom and family, I was just so sleepy and wanting a nap and no one would let me sleep. No one would let me read, and no one would just leave me for a few minutes of introspection. The mood passed, but I'm sure a lot of it is just that while seeing friends and family is fun, it is also stressful.

I perked up and had supper with another friend, Sheri Mos (formerly Sheri Coonce in High School) and her daughter, Katie...who I kept called Kaitlyn for some dumb reason. Maggie and Katie immediately hit it off and had a pleasant chat. They got along so well, that I told Sheri Katie could come for part of next summer, so that may be fun. Sheri and I have a ton in common too, the most recent commonness coming from our current infatuation with David Tennant and Doctor Who. I bought the audio book from her that she sold on Ebay and was listening to it when I saw her on Sunday (I've since finished it and want to read more by the author: Christopher Brookmyre)

Monday Maggie and I went to Worlds and Oceans of Fun. Here is a brief history of the park that I grew up loving. I found this website where they talk about classic rides and attractions. I loved the Zambezi Zinger. This article says my favorite coaster went to Bogata Columbia and was renamed. I didn't have as much fun as I expected. I was disappointed about rides that were missing. it seems like the park was a lot smaller than when we were kids even though there are now oceans and words attached. I'm glad I went, but with Six flags in my own back yard, I admit the thrill just wasn't there.

I spent Tuesday with my friends Eric Nelson and Allison Boswell at their farm outside of Warrensburg, MO. We swam in their pool and road around the field on their horses. Maggie road a Deli clone named Rouge. She was really uncomfortable though b/c the saddle was too big and the stirrups too long. She just couldn't get comfortable. We had a nice supper, chatted for awhile and went to bed.

Now I'm at my dad's. I spent the afternoon trying to get my dad's router to connect with my wireless modem, but it never did work. I waited till everyone went to bed and now I'm writing a bit. I'm going to William Woods University to look at their equestrian program tomorrow and find out if they might perhaps be hiring. My resume looks pretty good and I bought some new Terrains for the occasion since I left my Tennis shoes at Eric's and didn't think that sandals were appropriate for the barn.

I've got my fingers crossed on the jobs up here, but interestingly enough, I have a couple school districts pursuing me for music therapy in Texas...so we'll just have to see what happens.

Lazy Saturday

I was supposed to ride today, but it rained this morning and continued raining all day. My friend Susan and I were going to meet for a ride, but we ended up having lunch and going shopping instead.



I'm looking for the perfect tent. I want a tent that is warm in the winter, ventilated in the summer and will keep me dry. The salesman at Bass Pro shop says I need to buy the Kelthy Teton 4 and it's just the ticket. New, it is $190, so I"m trying to find someone getting rid of a slightly used one. Some of these tents are really expensive. If I'm going to spend that kind of money, I might as well just get a camper shell for my truck.



Maggie is at her dad's for the w/e. I have 2 massages to give tomorrow. This week is looking good. I have a music therapy/massage therapy session to start with a new client, a 15 year old autistic boy, and then the next two weekends I'm doing riding camp for the camp instructor who wants a break. This all comes at a very good time.



My friend Betsy is working on my language patterns. She says I have to quit saying that I need work or money, etc. So, I have been saying I want more students, I want to give more massages, I want to be more successful. I have discovered that this shift in language has made a tremendous difference to my spirit. TO say that I want something is powerful. Kings want things, they don't ask, they demand. Paupers are needy, they need things. It's a bit odd to say "i want" b/c I think we're taught to be more polite than that. Kids are taught to say "may I please" or "I would like" but the words "I want" are strong and forceful, perhaps a bit aggressive. All I know is that this week, things have picked up and I am achieving some of the things I desire.



We're going to start decorating here next week. I'm rearranging furniture and we're going to turn our front room into our family room/tv room. My friend Cat thinks it's too small, but we like the idea of the nice cozy space. We're going to put our office back in the big living room b/c we have so much computer and sewing equipment and we need the room. We're putting our bedroom back in the bedroom, even though the shower is still not working. We are probably going to be doing some plumbing in the next stretch so we can have 2 working bathrooms again. We're going to move all our books into a room to make a library, quiet room. Of course, if we hate it, in another year or six months we'll rearrange again. It's hard to know what to do with the house. We live so close to the Cowboys new stadium, that we're not sure if the neighborhood will survive or if they'll buy it up to build hotels, so it's hard to plan very far ahead. If anyone would give me a large sum of money for my house, I'd sell it tomorrow. I love it here, but don't want to be here when the Cowboys move in.

I talked to Larry. Deli is in with the other mares. She's bred several times and will have an ultrasound in a couple weeks.

This was a good riding week for me. I did some dressage work with Freeley. Who would have known he'd ever be able to canter on a circle. He's come a long way.

Delicato's Debacle (Cass County CTR)

Well, we went to the ride this w/e. It wasn't pretty. I've been stalling on writing my story b/c committing it to paper for all to see makes me ask more questions and worry that much more.

I took Deli as planned. I noted on Saturday that I thought she was coming into heat though even when talked to by the stallions at the ride she didn't say much back. She was her normal, pleasant self. She checked in well, she vetted in well, she ate and drank well. She was just great. Deli is such an easy horse. She does have a temper, but she's kind and safe. I never worry about her being nice to people. She's the "spare" horse and teaches lots of lessons.

Saturday was very hot. We've had a really mild spring in Texas this year and all of a sudden it was hot. We had to trot into both P&R's and we lost points both times. Losing points at P&R's is unusal for us. In the beginning of our CTR career she lost points for sore back, sore neck, sore pecs, etc, but never in her pulse. Saturday we lost points for both. She could not get cooled off and panted a lot. But we didn't get held or pulled so we kept going. Our obstacles were fine, metabolic checks OK, but considering how hard the whole event was on all the horses she did just fine.

Sunday morning she was fine, but she didn't eat breakfast. This is very unusual for this horse not to eat breakfast. Her gut sounds were good, she had eaten alot of hay in the night and she had drunk plenty of water, so we went. She was very wound up wanting to be with April, my friend Betsy's Morgan mare. Since Betsy and I travel together a lot, we usually try not to ride together, thus separating the mares from the beginning. But they were both so upset about being separated we kept them together this time. The problem is that Deli walks much slower than April and gets left behind. She then has to trot to catch up, which is harder on her body and wears her out faster, as well as gets her more wound up. On Saturday we peeled off from April (which then caused April distress) but when we caught back up they were fine together for the rest of the day. Sunday I tried the same approach, but with much different results.

We were in the deep woods where the trail is hard to see and I couldn't keep up with April without trotting constantly. Deli was very tense, so I made her wait. She refused to walk forward. She only would trot and then mostly sideways. A couple of times she got away from me and crashed through thick woods and underbrush. I hit my head on many branches and once again was so happy that I ALWAYS wear a helmet. Some more people came along and they offered to let us walk quietly along behind them. I thought that might be a good option for awhile. We were not in a good place to get off and just hang out and I was starting to have my confidence rattled. In the past, I would have gotten off and just quit, but I've been so brave lately. I was so proud of myself for not over analyzing the behavior and instead simply riding it out and taking care of business.

This new solution of following these people was not a good solution. No sooner did they put me behind their "nice slow walk" did they start to trot very quickly through the woods. I have ridden behind these same folks before and find they almost always mess up my pacing. They don't do a consistent tempo. They walk a little, trot a little, walk a little trot a little. Every time I've been behind them I've hung back waiting for them to get ahead of me so I can find a pocket, and then I trot up on them again. So their offer for help would have been great, if they'd kept walking...but they didn't.

So, now Deli was frantic about a new set of horses and was getting more and more out of control. I couldn't circle her and there wasn't any place to really get off the trail. I was running up on their horses and I was afraid she was going to run over them. She wasn't thinking. I finally came to a little clearing and I hopped off and we just waited there. She was panting and puffing and I could tell she was physically and emotionally distressed. I started to think about the couple of times she had behaved this way in the past. One time it was a bit issue (something must have been wrong with the bit b/c once I ditched it, she never did this again) and one time she melted down when I know she was coming into heat. Since I had evidence she was coming into heat, I went with the assumption that a follicle was giving her trouble. However, this did not immediately solve any of my problems.

After another group of riders past, and I realized by voices in the words that there was an obstacle ahead, I decided to mount back up and go on. The judges all asked me how I was doing and I burst into tears. All the stress I had felt for the past 10-15 minutes just came out and I cried and cried. I haven't cried while on a horse in a long, long time. After I settled down the judge asked me to approach her which I told her was a bad idea. I guess I sensed that Deli was just moments away from snapping. She talked me into coming closer and when I did, Deli launched over the log and on top of the judge. Then, instead of running left up the trail and out of the woods, she crashed straight into the briars and low branches. I remember seeing the judge under my horse and then I closed my eyes and kept my head and face down while trying to turn her. She finally got stuck in the briars and had to be pulled out. I dropped off (but I didn't fall off) and just stood in some briars. I started crying agian.

At that moment if I'd had a gun, I think I might have shot her...good thing I don't own a weapon.

My hands were cut up and I was bleeding. I had scratches on my neck and later I found a huge bruise where I hit the horn. I stood and talked with the judges for awhile. I was so angry I was determined to get back on and finish. I felt like my horse had completely forgotten I was there and I was determined to finish the ride and teach her a lesson about who was in charge. The judges talked me out of riding and I ended up pulling. I told Doanna, the horsemanship judge, how sorry I was. And I also blubbered on about Maggie and how she loves Deli, but how could I ever trust my child on this horse again. Doanna reminded me that each relationship was different and not to blame Deli too quickly till I had a chance to examine all the evidence and evaluate her behavior later.

By the time we got back to camp though...I wish I had stuck with it. I hate to pull.

Later, at awards, people were laughing about the whole thing and I thought if I put off writing about it, I would find the humor...but here I am 3 days post event and I don't think it's funny at all. My hands are still cut. I haven't been able to work at all this week. I know that there is humor here. It's a great story...NORMALLY MILD MANNERED HORSE GOES ON CRAZY SPREE THROUGH FOREST. etc. I'm just not laughing yet. I'm left with concerns that she is mentally unbalanced and that all the trust I've placed in this horse has been misplaced. I'm worried that she has a screw loose and will never be trustworthy...or worse, that all along she hasn't been trustworthy.

I'm not sure what to do to believe in her again. I need a plan, some exercises, something I can train her with that will help her to be the horse I always thought she was. Maybe after she is bred and has her baby she needs to be spayed? I just don't know right now and I hate feeling like I can't trust her.

Of course the flip side is one crazy event does not a crazy animal make. I have never considered ever letting this horse go until this event. I have never felt or seen such out of control behavior on her or any horse. I didn't even exist at the point at which she barrelled into the woods.