Paraphrased quote from Dare to Lead by Brene Brown.
When People do not understand where they are strong and where they deliver value to an organization they tend to hustle. This is not the good kind. This is the kind that hard to be around. They tend to help in ways that are not needed or where we are not strong, just to prove that they deserve a seat at the table. when we do not understand our value we tend to exaggerate our worst traits in ways that are not helpful. Or we unconsciously seek attention or validation of importance. It makes being right more important than getting it right. It creates franticness instead of calm cooperation.
In daring leadership instead of hustling, we know our value.
I wrote this quote down the other day when I was driving between clients (Ok, I pulled over to write it down, I didn't actually write it down while I was driving) The quote hit me profoundly because I realized how often I have done this. I'm like that mole that keeps popping up in different holes trying to show people how awesome I am, but no one sees my effort, just the dirt I left behind.
I also think of my dog Lacie, who was good at tricks. I was trying to teach Willie, the dachshund a trick, but he wasn't getting it...behind him, Lacie was rolling around the kitchen doing the roll over trick...She was showing me that I didn't need Willie because I had her. I have done this with people. I have tried to be everything to everyone, which of course I can't be. I am learning that I am not a good leader. I'm a great second. I'm a great brain stormer and developer, but the being in charge and motivating others to do what I want is something I have not been good at in the past.
In her book, Brene says that Clarity is Kindness, so even if it seems mean up front, it is always more appropriate to speak plainly but kindly, than to be vague. Unclear is Unkind. I am adopting this point of view myself, but I have no way of getting other people to be clear with me. I have decided that I have to quit worrying about what others are thinking that they aren't saying. One quote that I heard recently was that what other people think of me is none of my business. I like that. It's hard not to care, not to find out or not to worry, but the rewards at the end of the day are great. All that stress and worry taken off my shoulders.
I still find myself thinking about the relationships I lost recently, but I have come to accept that it is ok. I wish I could still be close to them. But...I have new friends, new responsibilities. I also realize that I don't "need" those people to be or feel whole. I don't want to be someone's pity friend...I'm more comfortable in my own skin. I stand by my assertion that I would rather know the truth about a relationship than to believe that I am closer to someone than I am. In the long run it's less upsetting to realize who your allies are all the time.
Honestly, I'm learning that life is an a game of Survivor and I'm not very good at it.
I am in KC this weekend at the board meeting for NATRC. This is a pivotal meeting. I'm wishing that I could be riding, but here it's 14 degrees so I'm glad I'm inside.
When People do not understand where they are strong and where they deliver value to an organization they tend to hustle. This is not the good kind. This is the kind that hard to be around. They tend to help in ways that are not needed or where we are not strong, just to prove that they deserve a seat at the table. when we do not understand our value we tend to exaggerate our worst traits in ways that are not helpful. Or we unconsciously seek attention or validation of importance. It makes being right more important than getting it right. It creates franticness instead of calm cooperation.
In daring leadership instead of hustling, we know our value.
I wrote this quote down the other day when I was driving between clients (Ok, I pulled over to write it down, I didn't actually write it down while I was driving) The quote hit me profoundly because I realized how often I have done this. I'm like that mole that keeps popping up in different holes trying to show people how awesome I am, but no one sees my effort, just the dirt I left behind.
I also think of my dog Lacie, who was good at tricks. I was trying to teach Willie, the dachshund a trick, but he wasn't getting it...behind him, Lacie was rolling around the kitchen doing the roll over trick...She was showing me that I didn't need Willie because I had her. I have done this with people. I have tried to be everything to everyone, which of course I can't be. I am learning that I am not a good leader. I'm a great second. I'm a great brain stormer and developer, but the being in charge and motivating others to do what I want is something I have not been good at in the past.
In her book, Brene says that Clarity is Kindness, so even if it seems mean up front, it is always more appropriate to speak plainly but kindly, than to be vague. Unclear is Unkind. I am adopting this point of view myself, but I have no way of getting other people to be clear with me. I have decided that I have to quit worrying about what others are thinking that they aren't saying. One quote that I heard recently was that what other people think of me is none of my business. I like that. It's hard not to care, not to find out or not to worry, but the rewards at the end of the day are great. All that stress and worry taken off my shoulders.
I still find myself thinking about the relationships I lost recently, but I have come to accept that it is ok. I wish I could still be close to them. But...I have new friends, new responsibilities. I also realize that I don't "need" those people to be or feel whole. I don't want to be someone's pity friend...I'm more comfortable in my own skin. I stand by my assertion that I would rather know the truth about a relationship than to believe that I am closer to someone than I am. In the long run it's less upsetting to realize who your allies are all the time.
Honestly, I'm learning that life is an a game of Survivor and I'm not very good at it.
I am in KC this weekend at the board meeting for NATRC. This is a pivotal meeting. I'm wishing that I could be riding, but here it's 14 degrees so I'm glad I'm inside.
