Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Lessons from a broken wing.

 Today has been a long, lonely day without my husband. He had to go and help a friend move some hay but it was also fun because he got to drive a cool new tractor. However, on his way home he ran out of fuel and it has taking him longer to get back then he expected. While I enjoy being on my own at home, I don't like it for this many hours. I have grown  used to his company and the time we spent together at night. 

Currently, I have a fractured right radial head at the elbow. I am trying to behave myself and keep my arm in a sling.  To back up as to how I got this broken arm, it was a horse accident. I was ejected last Tuesday and it was at least partly my own fault.   I often find that in dealing with horses are accidents are our own fault much of the time. 

I go back to the doctor for a recheck tomorrow and I will have a better idea of how my arm is healing. For the last 8 days I have had my arm in a sling.  I was told to stretch it some but it is currently not bending all the way straight or able to curl all the way up. I find that it hurts in the middle of my forearm more than it hurts where the fracture is. I'm not really sure what that is about. I have learned that I am very right-handed.  I have trouble doing even the smallest task with my left hand. I have trouble drinking coffee or making a sandwich or even driving a car.  I have been going out each morning to feed horses and as hard as I try to scoop feed with my left hand I find it almost impossible. I wear my sling when I'm doing anything that might cause me to behave stupidly or move suddenly.  all of this has forced me to slow down quite dramatically. Last weekend we were supposed to of gone to the beach however I couldn't even think about getting on a horse or being comfortable riding in a truck that far so we stayed home. I have had several days of complete and utter rest. I have not been able to crochet or do anything useful that does not get done with I left hand only.  I left hand only. There has been a bad side effect to all this rest. 

There has been a bad side effect to all this rest.    I find that I like not working so hard. Of course, I need to continue working hard to pay all my bills and I will but I am reminded that not every minute of every day needs to be filled with work. It is absolutely OK to sit and just watch television. I have spent the last couple days watching the BBC  production of broad church with David Tennant.  It is full of detail that I would have missed had I've been crocheting or surfing Facebook while I watched it. I am learning to let go of all of the many things that I could be doing,  in favor of resting. Michael has encouraged me to do this for a long time but I find sitting still difficult. I find sitting still in the quiet with nothing else to do a recipe for sleep, which I have also been doing a lot of. 

 One of my contracts has given me three more assessments to complete in the next few weeks and they will turn into clients in the future. I also know that when my arm is healed I will go back to working at therapeutic massage but I am reminded that I do not have to work every minute of every day. I can have days like today where a friend comes over with her grandson and we played with horses and pick the spoils of the garden for her Goats.  I can crochet without feeling guilty or so or embroidery. I can go out to lunch with a friend.  I can help Michael with his own business by sending out cards and letters to generate more business. I can sit and watch television and hold his hand and treat him like at the center of my world that he is. 

 My dogs are barking and I am hoping that he has arrived home I will sign off for now and go check.