random thoughts

The battle in my sore feet may have gotten the one/two punch today. I got some new shoes today at the new balance store and my feet barely hurt! They are running shoes, but they have the same base as their really popular walking shoe. They just look a lot better. I'm not a serious shoe snob, but those walking shoes were ugly and heavy. So i Have been wearing my new shoes all day and my feet feel great. I got a special insole too that is really soft. Unfortunately by the time I bought the shoes and insoles, a couple pairs of socks and a sports bra, I spent $200. Sports bras aren't cheap! Anyway, it's cheaper than a set of orthotics. My chiropractor also has some shoes that are sandals that he's getting in that I will probably buy for just running around. He has thong sandals, but I like sliders better. 

We leave for Pole canyon thursday. I'm so psyched. I get to  compete this year!  I have been the secretary both other years.  Liberty is ready to kick some butt I think. peter is going with us and taking photos.


I just had a bunch of things to write, but I'm so tired they have gone out my head. I'm wrapping it up and going to bed.

Contemplating and Introspective

I have so much to do...I never feel like I am finished. if I am not seeing clients, there is a house to clean, paperwork to do, a child to hang out with...not to mention a husband. there are the horses, who I love, but right now seem to be time suckers all on their own.  I think about getting down to 2 horses (Maggie is taking Dixie to Azle in the fall) and then I think a lot about why I should keep one or the other. Liberty stays...but I really could stand to sell Fiera.  I have listed her and talked her up, but no takers.  I spend way too much time thinking about all the choices I need to be making and still find myself unable to move forward in these choices.  Each little change makes so many ripples and they end up being big changes and not small changes. 

Maggie is moving in with her dad to go to High School in the fall. She wants to try public High School and she wants it to be in Azle since it's a small town. I don't blame her. Arlington has crappy schools and gangs and Azle is a much better choice for a slightly sheltered, independent teen.  She can get around by bike until she can drive in another year and then she can safely drive around a small town. Dixie is going to move to a stable about a mile from her dad's house and she will be able to ride her bike or maybe even get the school bus to drop her off in the afternoons.  While I'm ok with her living with her dad, I do find myself wondering what my new role will be in her life. It's stressful not knowing how it's all going to play out.

I feel like I'm working all the time. I haven't had a vacation in years. Maggie and I go ride and those are nice little vacations, but we have never all three taken a family vacation like I did growing up. There are lots of reasons we don't' go...part of it is that Peter doesn't really like to travel and then when he does want to travel he doesn't want to go anywhere I want to go (he wants to visit Boston and I would like to go to Hawaii for example). I end up traveling with the horses or to educational events, but he would rather stay home than join me on those ventures. At home there is always something that needs to be done.

I need a real break...maybe I need for Peter to take a trip and Maggie and I could go to the spa for the week, lol. Or they need to take another trip like they did at thanksgiving and leave me for a few days...only this time I won't work the whole time.

In any case, there are quarterly reports to write, an office to put away (rearranging has left my room a mess) and t-shirts to embroider.  I won't be getting a real break tonight :-/

Most productive day of my life

Only God could have helped me get everything done that I did today. I was totally swamped with work. Inlaid bills and then headed to my horse pasture to do stuff. There I cleaned out the traile, trimmed 1.5 horses, rode my filly, fixed the fence the filly broke after I tried to out her away and chased everyone out to the pasture where they belong.

Then I went to the grocery store to bring home food for the inferno plan that starts Monday. The inferno plan is intense exercise and low calories for 5 days. I will restart my turbo fire challenge on April 16 since this week has been a disaster in the eating and exercising department.

I digress for a movement to talk about my wretched foot. I saw a massage therapist yesterday who specializes I trigger point. He says the problem is up in my psoas and not my foot. My foot is just the end result of the pain. He spotted right away that I walk with my left foot turned out. I have since the 6th grade when I had that bad sprain and it never was quite the same again. I ride with that hip/ankle turned out too. So maybe I can get all that fixed with some hard work. I have exercises to do and my lower back has been on fire. My foot is hanging there but it still hurts...even after being injected Wednesday. The guy yesterday recommends going barefoot and the five finger shoes to strengthen the foot structures. The podiatrist says I need orthotics. I don't care who's right, I just want the pain to stop.

Anyway, back to today...

Then I came home and made a yummy squash soup over the course of the evening, moved furniture to prepare the front room to be the living room, made dinner and did embroidery for Alanna's ride. If I could have done more today I'm not sure what it would have been.

Tomorrow will be equally busy. I will work with the student I have been helping with a project, do more embroidery and finalize my taxes. Hopefully I will also ride liberty. If I can catch him. That root head is being really bad about running. I think, somehow, he knows my foot hurts and I can't chase him. Turkey. And how does Fiera do so awesome I want to keep her forever and then turn around and bust the fence before I can turn it on. Of course, it's not doing much good turned on right now...my fence charger is toast. Time to buy a new one.

Another frustrating weight week

I continue to be frustrated with my food/exercise/weight battles. I would have thought that giving up fast food and radically cutting back on sugar and alcohol (hence automatically cutting my overall calories) would have made a huge difference in my body mass, but it just isn't so. Yes, I will keep making the changes because it's good for me. And I enjoy the working out. I just really thought I would see more of a change. This week has been kind of a slow week for my working out because of my foot. Hopefully I can "hit it" hard next week.

Finally, a day off

I have been going 10 miles a second, or maybe faster in the last couple months.  I just can't seem to find any free time.  I don't actually have free time really today, but I'm reaching out and grabbing some.  This week has been weird. I rode a NATRC ride this past weekend (Liberty got second and Maggie got first) and was so tired from my open ride. I remembered why I had stopped riding open because I'm always so wrecked after the ride.  Monday morning my client canceled and then Monday afternoon the next one canceled. I still had to see a couple people, but it made the day light. Then Tuesday we had tornadoes and I couldn't see clients then.  Then Wednesday I had to take Maggie to the airport.  So, I had to skip out on clients that morning, and honestly, I wasn't feeling so hot...just not myself.  So here we are at Thursday and I have done very little work this week. Not going to be a profitable week, but maybe I have let some of my stress go.  I just feel like I'm worried and over scheduled.  I don't know why I feel this way. I have free time, but I have so much that needs to be done in that free time that I feel like I can never get caught up.  When I'm sitting still I think I should be doing something, so I never really chill out.  Even as I sit down to write this blog post, I keep thinking of things I should be doing and I stop to pay bills, write notes, etc.

I finally started getting back to the gym again after working for seasons and being so busy.  Almost immediately after getting back to running and being so happy that I wasn't too tired and was still in great shape, my foot pain started. First it hurt in my arch and I massaged it out, bought in soles, changed shoes, etc. Then I saw the acupuncturist which took the pain out of my arch and moved it back to my heel. Then I went back and we worked on my heel and it hasn't been any better.  So yesterday I finally went to a podiatrist who injected it with cortisone. Boy, did that hurt! It's a little bruised feeling now, but so much better than it was. I go back in 2 weeks. He says that it will take up to 3 injections to make it go away completely.  He says he can make me orthotics for  under $300 and I will probably have that done.  I just want my foot to feel better!

In a little bit I need to get going. I took a friend's horse to a CTR last weekend and I need to return her horse and go for a short ride.  I'm not sure which horse I will take. I had sort of planned to talk myself into taking Fiera, but my friend would rather I didn't. So, I have to decide between Olympus and Liberty...may be that the one I can catch is the one that goes.