Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Vacation travels

I've been wanting to start blogging about vacation before I Have a chance to forget all the good stuff that happens, but I have been so busy since I got home I haven't really had a chance to write anything.

I can't really start at the beginning and write it all, but I did want to tell a tale of our trip to Silver dollar City.

When I was a kid, SDC wasn't that exciting. It was OK, but I don't remember it so much for the rides as I remember it for exhibits. But, my goodness, I liked it now. The food was everywhere and it smelled fantastic. Unfortunately, I only had about $15 so I couldn't eat everything I wanted to eat. That and we were with my mom who never buys park food, and my brother and his wife and kids who had plenty of snacks from home. We didn't need the food, but I wanted it ALL. We were going to dinner that night and it would be plenty, but boy it was hard to skip it all. I only got 1 container of homemade potato chips and a funnel cake in addition to dinner, and Maggie and I shared with all the kids so we didn't pig out too much.

I haven't had much of a chance to be around my nephews and niece and they were all a lot of fun. Travis is 7 and in the 2nd grade. Reagan is 5 and in Kindergarten and Truman is almost 2. Truman ate all day long...when I got the funnel cake at the end of the day he followed me down the aisle (we were in a show) wanting funnel cake. I think he liked it as much as I did. He also liked his brother and sister's smoothies too. He's such a cute little mooch...who could care! Reagan took to Maggie right away and Maggie seemed to enjoy the younger kids more than I would have expected. They took turns riding with her on rides and it was fun for her to be the older, popular kid after spending part of the summer being the little kid.

At one point in the day I got off a ride and Cindy, my sister-in-law told me that Truman had asked to ride on a ride with me. It was so cute, I was so impressed that his verbal skills were that well developed. Mostly, he pointed at the balloons (bawoon or baba) and me (awa) We had a great time. He's such a cutie! And for once Maggie didn't act jealous. Cindy doesn't ride many rides as she gets motion sickness, but she enjoys the hanging out. Truman reached a milestone on this day. HE was finally 36 inches and big enough to ride almost all the tamer rides with supervision and the kiddy rides alone.

The biggest laugh of the day came from Travis. He wanted us to ride a ride called Splashdown. We had ridden some other rides and my mom had told me the kids sometimes get wet and brought us a towell so I knew that dampness was out there. I wans't all that worried about it b/c it was a warm, but not hot day and I figured getting wet would be fun as it usually is. The other rides we had ridden didn't get me very wet and this was the last water ride. I asked Travis if I was going to get wet and they said that it depended on where I sat in the raft. I didn't see the ride going in, so I didn't have a clue what the ride was like. My brother suggested I leave my cell phone with my mom, but I had been doing that on all the wet rides, so that was no big deal. We got up to the top of the ride and I saw that the ride didn't sport cars or boats, but the kind you find in the water park, not at the amusement park. At that moment, I thought (now, remember, I'm blonde) "How will I NOT get wet?" I asked Travis again and he told me that it depended on where I sat in the raft. I got in the raft and they sent us on our way (Maggie, Reagan and I were in the raft together) I didn't make it to the first time and I was soaked down to my underwear. I was wetter than I had been at Ocean's of fun on Monday before after going in the swimming pool. I was totally soaked. Travis had a huge laugh and told me that it's not where you sit in the raft it's if you're in the raft you'll get wet. Evidently the time before they had tried to get my mom in the raft and she didn't want to do it b/c she hates to get wet. Then after she saw how wet they all were she wouldn't do it again, so he finally got to play his trick on me. I was so wet that I still had damp clothes when we got home at 8pm.

The photo at the top is last year's photo of my brother and his family.

I caught my dinner, how about you?

These are the words my daughter said to me today when I spoke to her at dinner time. She is in Nantucket visiting her grandparents on her dad's side of the family. His family is strange and complicated, so technically, they are not blood grandparents, but she is having a great time with people who love her and in the end, I think that's all that matters.

We got home from our Missouri trip on Monday at about 4pm. I washed her clothes (the few that were dirty--Mom let me wash most of them at her house on the weekend which was a huge help) and repacked them and then on Tuesday morning her dad picked her up to take her to the airport for Nantucket. Originally, he was supposed to go to Nantucket with her, but he changed jobs earlier this summer and was at the last minute unable to go with her. So, Meg and Lori paid her unaccompanied minor fee and she went on her own. As much as she wanted to go to Nantucket, she didn't really want to travel alone or be away from a parent. She's been in a weird spot all summer with wanting to be away from us, but the tickets were purchased and I fairly made her go. Shawn took her to the airport b/c I knew she wouldn't melt down if he took her and I wasn't sure she wouldn't if I took her.

She spent this morning on the beach with Lori while Meg worked and then they all went out on the boat this afternoon. Meg and Lori have a new dog, Buster, who is a schnoodle. Maggie says that schnoodles are the best dogs ever and if we ever need a new dog we should get one. Buster evidently slept with her part of last night which has sealed her love for him. As for the title of this blog, this is what she said to me when I spoke to her around supper. They went out on the boat and dropped anchor and caught mussels, which Lori cooked in wine and then served in a garlic butter sauce...wish I were in Nantucket.

Tomorrow is my first day at my new job. I'm a little nervous, but I think I'll be OK. I lost the client whose mother was giving me a good time...good riddance as far as I'm concerned.

Birthday lists...

Ok, this is a shameless note posted for all my family who may want to birthday shop for me (not that they do, but here it is anyway) I have an wishlist and no one ever buys me anything from it.

I'm thinking it's b/c no one knows about it, so I thought I'd post it here.

It has books for me and sometimes books for Maggie. I have no books on their for peter. I made the wish list b/c people are always telling me about books I want to read and I always forget them. So, it seemed like a good way to keep up with books I want to read rather than having to write them down somewhere. The ones on the first page are more recent, but all of them are things I wouldn't mind having in my library.

My Wish List

Annyoing people

A quick blurb to vent about people who mess with my schedule!

I'm a music/massage therapist and I see lots of people. Earlier in the summer, I nailed down my fall schedule. I have one parent who seems to want to make life difficult for me. She keeps changing things around. I nailed a time down with her and told her I needed that time, called dibs, etc. She said no problem...then she gave another therapist the time slot she had promised me. This is after she said I could see him at school during the day and then changed her mind on that.

To be fair, I don't know this lady at all. I only know our interactions. She has not been easy to work with at all. I feel like she is trying to make things difficult for me. Every time I talk about a time being convenient or what will or won't work, she gets weird. IT's like she doesn't want it to be convenient. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I really feel like this lady is yanking my chain.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Home from my trip

I feel like one of those cars we used to play with as kids where you rev the back wheels and then set it down and it takes off running. My heart is racing and I'm swamped with work to be done today. I needed this week to be a slug, get my ducks in line, redecorate Maggie's room, take care of me before her school started. Instead, I'm spending it working my new job at Springtown ISD and generally feeling overwhelmed. It's hard not to be tired when you're used to NOT working and suddenly ARE working.

I want to write tales of my trip, but they will have to wait. I'm off and running in a matter of minutes, seeing clients and just generally being busy.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Last Day of Vacation

A lengthy post about my fun yesterday at Silver Dollar City will be coming once I get home, but not today. It will have to wait until I can really think about what to say b/c there are some really good stories to tell from my trip and I want to do them all justice. Today, I'm just tired and ready to be home. I haven't seen my horses for over 10 days. I haven't seen my husband in almost as long, or the dogs. Of the bunch the husband will be the most welcome sight, with horses and dogs lagging not far behind.

The worst part is that when we get back, Maggie has to turn around and leave almost immediately. Cat and I had plans to redecorate her room while she's gone. I don't know if we'll accomplish that or not, but I want to do something to that end. I figured I could at least get the pink, lower part of her wood painted to a nice green color while she's gone. IF it's not too hard I'll even get some of the wallpaper peeled, but I just don't know.

It hasn't been very restful on vacation. I have job interviews for 3 districts this week while I'm working on the people I have scheduled already. I have riding lessons to teach and I need to trim feet. I will definitely have to hit the ground running when I get home. One of the school districts holds my interest in particular, but I can't say more about it till I have the interviews. I can't believe I almost let my music therapy certification go last year and now I'm about to go back to work in the field.

This should be a lucrative financial year. It's my plan to pile up a bunch of cash and then pay off a bill or at least be able to quit worrying about what if the car breaks down or we need a new one. I'm planning to save about every dime (save tithing and some personal money) for a better future. I really want to pay off debt, but something tells me I may need a little extra cash in my immediate future, so I'm making a plan to do that first. Dave Ramsey says that you're better off piling up the cash and doing one thing at a time, and if you think there is something coming up in the future, better to pile up the cash first. I'd like to get one credit card paid off by Christmas, but piling up the cash may prove to be a better move in the short term...more on that later.

Today we went to church with my mom and then she made lunch. Now Maggie and the older cousins are playing, we watched The Incredible Journey (which always makes me cry) and I came in here to check on my maps, and write something...didn't mean to linger so long so I will go for now. More tomorrow.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Another day on vacation

Another day in our vacation...

Today we went to breakfast and then my dad took Maggie and I to a couple of colleges. He had heard from friends in the community that there was a need for college professors in the equestrian department b/c many of the folks who teach riding don't have Masters or PHD's. I didn't know if it was true, but I was willing to check it out as he was so insistent...well, it wasn't true. Steven's college is a small college in Columbia and they might eventually need help, but William Woods University in Fulton positively didn't need any staff. They must be a great place to work as they have only had one new teacher hired in the last 2-3 years with the reaminder of the staff having been there since the 80's. Both places were nice and took my resume, but I'm sure there isn't anything for me to do in either location.

On the way there I saw a sign for Mexico, MO and said something to my dad about some friends that he and mom had out that way. I can't remember their name, but I thought it was Curtis or something like that.I remember that they had a pony and once in a snow storm we tried to get on and off the pony and I feel off the other side into the snow. I don't think we ever did ride b/c none of us could get on. She was a gregarious, patient thing, but I didn't get to ride that day. I know they had a girl around my age, but I can't remember her name. Anyway, my dad says he's never known anyone in Mexico, MO, so now it's really bugging me. I'm going to have to ask my mom to see if it was somewhere else in the state. I just really thought it was Mexico b/c I thought we had joked about driving to Mexico. He thinks I dreamed it, but I know I didn't...just don't know who the people are.

Now we're back at dad's. He had to go to his bank for a couple hours. Shirley is eating lunch. Maggie is playing on my computer. I'm not really sure what you're supposed to do when you're at a parent's house with no "entertainment" I'm happy to read my book or surf, but it seems like I'm supposed to be interacting or doing something. I don't really travel enough to have good ettiquette in this department I guess.

Back to my book, the comfortable chair calls.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

More travels in Missouri (AKA, the Missouri Tour 2007)

Sunday afternoon I was frustrated from being sleepy and wanting to read. I really enjoyed my entire visit with Susan and her mom and family, I was just so sleepy and wanting a nap and no one would let me sleep. No one would let me read, and no one would just leave me for a few minutes of introspection. The mood passed, but I'm sure a lot of it is just that while seeing friends and family is fun, it is also stressful.

I perked up and had supper with another friend, Sheri Mos (formerly Sheri Coonce in High School) and her daughter, Katie...who I kept called Kaitlyn for some dumb reason. Maggie and Katie immediately hit it off and had a pleasant chat. They got along so well, that I told Sheri Katie could come for part of next summer, so that may be fun. Sheri and I have a ton in common too, the most recent commonness coming from our current infatuation with David Tennant and Doctor Who. I bought the audio book from her that she sold on Ebay and was listening to it when I saw her on Sunday (I've since finished it and want to read more by the author: Christopher Brookmyre)

Monday Maggie and I went to Worlds and Oceans of Fun. Here is a brief history of the park that I grew up loving. I found this website where they talk about classic rides and attractions. I loved the Zambezi Zinger. This article says my favorite coaster went to Bogata Columbia and was renamed. I didn't have as much fun as I expected. I was disappointed about rides that were missing. it seems like the park was a lot smaller than when we were kids even though there are now oceans and words attached. I'm glad I went, but with Six flags in my own back yard, I admit the thrill just wasn't there.

I spent Tuesday with my friends Eric Nelson and Allison Boswell at their farm outside of Warrensburg, MO. We swam in their pool and road around the field on their horses. Maggie road a Deli clone named Rouge. She was really uncomfortable though b/c the saddle was too big and the stirrups too long. She just couldn't get comfortable. We had a nice supper, chatted for awhile and went to bed.

Now I'm at my dad's. I spent the afternoon trying to get my dad's router to connect with my wireless modem, but it never did work. I waited till everyone went to bed and now I'm writing a bit. I'm going to William Woods University to look at their equestrian program tomorrow and find out if they might perhaps be hiring. My resume looks pretty good and I bought some new Terrains for the occasion since I left my Tennis shoes at Eric's and didn't think that sandals were appropriate for the barn.

I've got my fingers crossed on the jobs up here, but interestingly enough, I have a couple school districts pursuing me for music therapy in we'll just have to see what happens.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Tao Of Equus

I’ve been reading this book called The Tao of Equus. It’s kind of an unusual book as it deals with Equine/Human Communication and counseling. The beginning of the book is about the author’s experience with her own horses and what she learned from them. The second part of the book deals with different real experiences that she’s had with various people in her Epona Equine Therapy practice.

I’m am fascinated by what I am reading.

The beginning of the book was hard for me to read. There was a lot of history and parts of it almost hit a little too close to home. I have a lot of experience with equine communication. I have moments where I’m sure that I know what my horses, or other horses are thinking. There are times I have a lot of intuition about a horse and it’s situation. I also have a lot of experience with people thinking I’m absolutely nuts and trying to talk me out of my intuition. I’ve spent the last 2 years, since I got Freeley, fine tuning my “crazy” opinions and feelings to figure out when I’m really communicating with my horses and when I’m just making it up…even better are the times that I think I’m making it up and find that it really was my horse communicating all the time.

The first chapter of the second half was about how we need to be congruent with our horses. If we’re not congruent emotionally, we make our horses crazy. They don’t know how to deal with us, if we’re not honest with ourselves and with them. I’m in the second chapter now, learning about smart horses are when their people believe their horses are smart. Conversely, they behave as though they are dumb when the horses are treated by their people as though they are dumb. The way humans approach the horses seem to make a huge difference in how the horses see themselves, how the other horses in the herd see them, and how they behave for different humans.

I’m still trying to process how I think about each of these chapters. I’m at a friend’s house in Missouri, on vacation. Between the TV, my friend and my daughter, I almost feel like part of my brain is trying to keep the other half of my brain from figuring out this whole thing…either that or some evil force is keeping me from completing assimilating all I could…I realize that seems silly, but I get to reading this book and I begin to identify with what I’m reading and then something around me takes my attention off the book and lose the deep thought I was having. For example, now, I was sitting here typing trying to think about this very topic and she came into the room and started talking about random stuff. (an aside to this is that it is much reminding me of my interaction with my mom—she does much the same thing…it’s like they need my full attention, or most of it, and me going inside my own head to think about things isn’t acceptable…more on that later) She opened a catalog to Penny’s and I was thinking about equine communication. My daughter is thumping her foot on the bed, and my friend is talking about clothes…I’m trying to think about deep, equine things…not really the right environment for me. My ADD just can’t handle it.

I am wondering about one concept in the book so far. How can we ever teach people to ride horses without blowing their minds? If every person learns to ride from scratch and they have no experience, how do we teach them not to confuse the horses emotionally and physically with their early clumsy attempts to ride. I wonder this especially of all the folks who are learning to ride who are afraid. If they are afraid and pretending not to be doesn’t that freak out the horse? Or if I am afraid for someone as the instructor, don’t I give that to the horse? I wonder if the times that my horses don’t really go for the riders if I’m somehow causing it by not really being in the mood to be at the barn teaching?

These are my random thoughts for Sunday afternoon…

I’m tired of being in someone else’s house. I’m tired of having no boundary around me to keep people out. I tried to take a nap and my daughter and friend pestered me mercilessly till I got up. Now I’m typing in my blog and listening to Dirty Jobs and listening to her talk about the catalog. I find that I want a quiet spot of my own. I want my husband, my home, and my horses. I want to be left alone without feeling like I need to be someone’s entertainment…and I have a week to go.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Just a quick note

I'm on the library computer in Liberty, MO. Next time I come, I"ll bring my lap top and use the wifi, but I didn't know that was an option.

So many things about my town are the same, and so many are different. IT's really wild to see all the restaurants, but then I drive to the historic parts and it looks pretty much the same.

The drive was boring. Maggie and I couldn't agree on listening material. She is whiney and tired today. I am forcing to read (imagine that) while I check my email.

Heading to Target now. More later. I haven't had any coffee this am, so I'm a little bleary eyed myself.

Friday, August 17, 2007

All my bags are packed

OK, we're getting ready to head out. I had the little slave (aka Maggie) pack up the car for me. I only have to shower, stop by the pharmacy for cash and my allergy medicine and we're out of here.

when I was younger I made the drive between Texas and KC all the time...while I was at Baylor. It's a long, boring road. I looked it up on the map and found that some of it is a toll road. I don't remember it being toll before, but it might have been. It was in the 80's that I did all that driving. I haven't been to Liberty in years. I'm eager to see my old home town.

Maggie and I are going to go to church at Second Baptist, where Peter and I were married. I doubt I'll know anyone still, but it will be fun to go back there anyway.

Time to shove off...though I hope to post something if I have the time and the computer connection.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I just don't want to go

I find that I am grouchy and I don't want to travel. I haven't packed my suitcase yet, though I have identified what is going to go with me. I'm tired and just want to stay home. I'm sure I'll be fine once I get where I'm going, but right now, it's not thrilling. I've got the last load in now. I'm not in a huge hurry to get out, but it will take me about 10 hours to get where I"m going so I figure I'd better go sooner than later in the morning. I will probalby leave home by 8 anyway. I'm sure it will be a fun week, but right now, it just seems tense. I have bills to pay and I don't have as much money to travel on as I'd planned b/c I had huge car repair costs last week. The good news is that I paid cash for $900 of the $1100 in repairs, but now I don't have a savings account. I have to pay Susan for the World's of Fun Tickets and there will be some meals out. I'm just feeling so strapped.

I'm beginning to look for ways to save money come the first of the school year. I'm thinking of ditching my health club membership (that I don't ever seem to use anyway) I love to swim but we dont' do enough of it. I have thought about saving that $63/month and then joining the Y next summer so we can get pool access again, but I can save the $63 in the mean time. I have always loved the idea that I would work out, but I haven't used the health club like I planned...or I can get the summer pool pass for us. The thing I like about the Maverick is that the pool opens earlier and stays open longer. I have also been doing massages up there (not a lot, but some) but now I'm thinking. I already dropped my blockbuster membership. I'm trying to shave some money off. Funny, now that I'm working and earning more money, I'm even less willing to spend it.

My immediate goal is to pay for all my equine expenses with my work. If I teach 10 lessons per month I've paid board, that's just a little more than 2 lessons per week, which I should be able to do. Then the other money pays for hay and grain and everything else. Theoretically I should be able to save up some money and then be able to start paying off bills.

Anyway, Peter is home and I must dash. More later. I'm just feeling kind of worn out and blah.

Leaving town tomorrow

I should be packing up to go on my trip, but instead I'm sitting here watching mindless TV with Maggie. I'm mourning that the summer is almost over and I still feel like I haven't like I got to relax. I wanted to redecorate Maggie's room, and repaint the living room and just have some time to be home. I had planned to teach Maggie to sew and I had planned to clean out areas I don't normally clean.

Instead, I started working and spent a lot of time doing that instead. Of course, financially that is a good thing, but it would have been nice to have had a little free time to just veg. I promised Maggie that this summer wouldn't be crammed full, and it ended up being crammed full anyway.

So we're gone the next 10 days and then she goes with her dad to Nantucket and then she'll be back home and start school the next day. It's a lot of stuff to accomplish very quickly and I'm not excited.

In a little while I'm going to to go to a therapy appointment which will be good since in a month I'll get paid. I know that I don't want to go really, but in a month I'll be glad I went. I don't feel so great and just want to stay home.

I was bummed to find out that a group of folks from the barn went on the not yet open trails last night. I wasn't there and didn't know about it. I don't guess I could have made it anyway, but I really wish I could have ridden then. They have been telling everyone at the barn for 3 years that the trails will be open soon, but they aren't still. And they have more recently told us they would be open in July, but we had too much rain. So, now I'm wondering if they'll be open by Christmas. Last Christmas it was March (we had a work day the beginning of Dec. last year) Then in March it was July...I moved to this barn partly b/c there were going to be trails. For awhile we had a big field, but they closed that too b/c of the gas well/pipeline. So, here we are a year later, no trails. I keep hearing that it will be soon...yeah, ok, sure. I wonder what it takes to get the Corp moving on these issues. I like the barn and don't want to be anywhere else, but I wish the trails would open.

I need to get my clothes changes so I can get us out the door. I'm tired and cranky and don't want to go. Oh well...

Monday, August 13, 2007

A Long Hot Day--BEER

I have to start this blog talking about my daughter. I know I talk about her a lot, but it's b/c I like her so much. I don't just love her, I like her too. She's sweet and she's funny and she's just an all around great kid. This is a photo of her taken in Arkansas when we were on our trip.

Peter has been out of town this week and we have been busy running around, watching TV, etc. I have let Maggie sleep with me but usually I don't b/c she kicks and she kicks bad. Last night we were both so tired that if she kicked me, I never noticed. I told her she could sleep with me again tonight. She's so happy.

We've been sitting here watching Psych, the TV show on USA on Fridays. we love this show. It's so funny. It cracks us up completely. It's almost over and then she's going to go shower and we're heading back to bed.

I had about quit watching TV until we got the dish with the DVR. I love the DVR...I am now a computer/TV addict while I watch the DVR.

I have discovered a new beer. It's called Blue Moon. It's really yummy, especially when served with an orange. I didn't have an orange so I've just poured it into a glass. Tasty stuff this beer.

I taught 2 lessons today and then I saw one music therapy client. then I came home and just melted from the heat. I have done some paper work for my job and made some phone calls. None of the parents called me back, which was rather discouraging...oh well, I'll try again tomorrow. I wanted to get the appointments schedule and done b/c I would like to get paid sooner than later. It takes a month before you get paid, so I wanted to start filling up the shoot with clients. I was so bummed that no one called me back.

Off to bed, pretty tired!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

The Next Morning...still tired

I slept till almost 10 am this morning. I never sleep late. I just don't find it possible. I must have been tired. I woke up at 6am when the dogs got restless but then I went back to sleep for almost 4 more hours. It was really cool to sleep that long.

Today we're going to go to Susan's to Kayak with Susan and her daughter, Diana. The lake has been so high that between Susan's trip to Costa Rica and the trip we haven't gotten to go on the water this year. It's hot (they say it's going to be 102 today) so it's a good day to be on the water. I do find myself wishing that I could just sit in my chair and veg out on TV all day. I know that I will be happy once I get out of the house, but right now sitting here seems better.

I guess I will visit the chiropractor this week sometime. My neck is killing me. It's all that time in the saddle sitting and not posting...Yesterday's ride was very slow. It should have been about 3-4 mph, but instead it was 2.5. We did 9.5 miles and had an average speed of 2.5 mph. We had a lot of climbing which did make it slow, but there was also a lot of standing around, talking, hanging out. It was fine for a pleasure ride, but I had hoped to keep everyone moving a little faster. As it was, some of the horses just weren't in shape for anything else, so it's just as well that we went slow.

Gotta get moving...

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Too tired to write much (or maybe not)

I just got back from a fun ride at Cbar stables in Valley Mills, TX. They have a camping area and over 1000 acres to ride on. There are three sections of mixed trails. Pastures house cattle, and in between are rocky, canyon type trails to climb in and out of. Right now there is water in the creeks, which is really welcome this time of year (it was 102 today) but they keep water troughs out when the creeks are dry.

I went with a group from my barn. Maggie and I had decided we wanted to go and I asked Jackie from NGF to join us, along with her daughter. Another girl wanted to go and she was going to bring another friend of jackie's daughter. At the last minute I decided to take one of my former riding students so that Maggie would also have a friend with whom to ride. The kid ages are tricky in this bunch. They are 16, 14, 12, and almost 10 (Maggie will be 10 Sept 2) Until recently, Maggie has always been regarded as being a "big kid" but with the addition of the extra almost teens and teens at the barn, all of a sudden she is a "little kid." Actually, I think the real problem is that for so long she was the only kid, and now there are old kids, so that's what makes her a little kid.

When I plan a camping trip I typically have a set time I want to leave. I know when I want to arrive, what my plans are, what I'm going to eat etc. This trip got away from me from the beginning. I wanted Jackie and her daughter to join us. When others thought it sounded like fun I said, sure, why not. Then they started asking other people to come with them and they wanted to borrow Joe Bear and it just got out of hand. One girl asked Jackie if she could use Joe Bear. She didn't ask me...she asked Jackie. Anyway, I tried to put limits on who was coming, how much space there was etc and it seemed like they didn't care. I'm quite sure they think I'm a control freak. I agreed that I was about some things, but we only had so many trucks and trailers. Plus we had certain riding goals in mind. There are lots of reasons I didn't want the other girl to go...not the least of which is that she rode Joe Bear and Deli and complained about them both, but then had the nerve to ask to ride them again. I told her that since she didn't seem to appreciate them, she'd have to find a new ride the next time she didn't have an extra I worry that she'll come use Joe without permission. Also, I have my daughter with me. This girl isn't someone I want around my kid. The other, older kids, think she's so cool. Maggie doesn't think much of her (the feeling is mutual) and I would just as soon keep it that way.

So, we left late, got there late and I was setting up my tent in the dark. The good side is, I slept great, even outside in the heat.

I did learn some valuable lessons though. If I have expectations of schedule, and really want to keep them,I should make my plans, invite the other folks to come, let them make their own reservations and then leave on my own time frame. I need to accept that they don't run on my schedule and it annoys me to stall my own schedule. Or, I have to know that whatever time I set as my schedule will end up being later than I planned and I have to suspend my irritation. I seem to be the only one who really cares about being on schedule and I can't make them buy into my value system. One of my good friends, Sylvia, told me that if I was truly honest with myself, I would have known that the way it turned out is exactly what I expected all along. And, I have to confess, she is right. I was downright delusional to think it would be different.

And darn it if Jennifer didn't ditch Maggie for the older kids. I have a rule about only taking 2 horses in my trailer since my truck is small. I broke my own rule to include an extra child for Maggie and she was still on her own with me. At dinner on Friday and lunch on Sat. she crammed into a table with the older kids rather than sit by us. She talked Jackie into letting her ride back in the truck with her instead of me b/c she didn't want to take her turn in the backseat. So, she got me to pull her horse for her and hay her horse and sling her horse's poop, and she couldn't even be bothered to ride in the same car...It will be a long time before I break my two horse hauling rule again for her! I really like this girl. She can be so bright and funny and entertaining. My daughter enjoys her too. But she does seem to disappear whenever there is work to be done. She works when the people she wants to impress are there to watch, but has a habit of quitting when those folks aren't around. A few of us have seen it. I guess that time will eventually make her into a solid citizen or the others will catch her at her game. I have talked to her mom a bit about the problem, so other adults are aware. I like her mom, Patty, very much. I like Jennifer very much. I just wish she hadn't blown us off.

I spoke with my friend Betsy who told me this was the age where she and her daughter (who just graduated from HS) started spending time alone together. I think that's probably the best idea anyone has had yet. Maggie and I will spend some time hanging out and doing this together and being each other's best friend (well, in a mother/daughter sense anyway) I'm going to spend more time letting her be a little girl rather than hanging out with the older girls who don't really want her around anyway. Maggie seems happy about this...I hope it sticks.

Also, in fairness to the others who traveled with me. I never told them I was upset or anything. I didn't really see any point. It was just a set of my own expectations higher than I should have this time. I still like the people involved and I continue to enjoy riding with them.

More about the actual riding tomorrow. I'm falling asleep as I type. I'm sure that's a sign that I should go to bed.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Edelweiss, Edelweiss

Last night I went to dinner at a really great German restaurant in Ft. Worth. The service was terrible but the food was really good. I had a coupon from my Entertainment book that they refused to honor after I had ordered Maggie a full sized, expensive dinner, thinking it was going to be free. They said b/c our group had split checks that they didn't have to honor the coupons. I argued that the small print on the back page about no split checks was to prevent me and someone else that I was ordering with (buy one get one free) from splitting the remaining check between us. If I was on one check with my kid then my coupon should have been honored. They refused to even talk to me about this. They said they had rules about the checks being split up. I told them that I would report them to the entertainment book people, which I did...I have never had a restaurant be so stubborn. Most will at least pretend to do what you want while kindly being stubborn and refusing.

This has been a busy/stressful day. I have been angry a good portion of the day and yet I know being angry won't do me any good. Maggie and I are going trail riding tomorrow. We invited some friends to come with us. They then invited some more friends. It turned from a small group, to a much larger group. It turned from my party into someone else's party. One of the girls coming makes me pretty uncomfortable. She's 19 and thinks that she has the world by the tail. She hasn't been too kind to my daughter and worse, she insulted our horses. She said she didn't like Arabs. I told her that was OK since she'd have to find another horse to ride next time she needed an extra horse. My horses are very well trained. My daughter says this girl can't ride for squat.

I'm less upset now than I was, but I confess I stewed for most of the day. I am pretty anal about how I ride, and who I want to ride with. I like to be in a controlled, quiet, calm setting. I don't like riding with a bunch of yahoos. I feel safe within my parameters. I'm not a wimp, but I'm not reckless either. I was just really put off. Now I'm just hoping this girl doesn't turn up. Seems that she's not very consistent.

Off to bed. tomorrow is going to be a long day.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

LIttle Lost Cecelia

"Oh Cecelia, you're breaking my heart"...

Well, those would have been the words at my house tonight if I hadn't found Maggie's little dog.

Cecelia has been a thorn in our side since they day she arrived. She was a stray...we've had her 4 years now, so I guess she's not a stray anymore. We feed her, and keep her shots up, etc...she in return pees on everything in site. She has "issues" But Maggie love her and as much as she can be a sweet little dog sometimes, Peter and I often joke that we wish she would just go away.

Well, today, she almost did.

Peter accidently left the gate open. I went outside to load my truck for the day ahead and Scooby came running down the street toward me. No cecelia. I had a moment where I actually though that my dreams had come true. yes, I feel guilty wishing she would go away, and deep down in my heart I know that she's not really bright enough to find a new home...but that's part of the problem...she's not bright enough to find her way back to this home either. She was down the street in someone's yard. I went down in my bare feet and brought her back. I should be Maggie's hero.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Fun day visiting an old friend

Joe told me if I'd come up to Denton he'd buy my lunch. Never one to resist a free lunch, I took him up on his invite. He took me to a really nice little restaurant off the square in Denton called Banter. He even has a menu item named after him. It was a very pleasant lunch, full of catching up.

I have included the link to Mr. Joe's website. Joe Pinson is the most talented music therapist I know. I did my internship with him in the early nineties in Denton, TX and Denton State School. I have learned so much from him through the years. Last winter he encouraged me to keep my music therapy certification up. I'm so glad I did as it has led to work the summer and into next school year.

Peter says I failed to mention that he came to the lake with us. Since it is truly momentous when we can get him out in public, I guess I should mention it here. Usually he prefers to stay home. Not only did he get on the lake with us...he actually seemed to be having a good time.

Last night I sent Maggie trail riding with Jackie, her daughter and some friends. I had to work, so I was unable to go, but she really wanted to go so I let her. It was a little nerve wracking sending my daughter off with friends to ride with friends without me being there. However, as no one died and everyone seemed to have had a good time, I can see that it's something I will have to grow used to. Fortunately, the act of letting her go, also makes me a cool mom.

We had one nice moment between us. Maggie unloaded a bunch of stuff out of my trailer that she wasn't supposed to and left it sitting out in the middle of the parking area. I got to the barn to let the horses in and saw it and was pretty steamed. When I confronted her with my disappointment, she didn't try to weasel out of the responsibility...she said that she had done it and was sorry b/c she just forgot. And it was in a good tone of voice. And she apologized again today. Makes my mother's heart proud...

Sunday, August 5, 2007

I am so very sore today

I'm so sore today. I didn't know that it was possible to have muscle cramps to this extent from a few minutes of fun!

I was invited to go boating with one of my riding students and their family. We swam and then we were pulled on the knee board and then the inner tube. The pictures at the top of this post are of Maggie and myself in the water. Maggie was able to actually get up on her knees on the knee board. I discovered that I was not going to get on the knee board no matter how I pulled myself up.

I loved the tube! Of course, I feel off the tube several times, but it was still fun. I came off with such force that I lost the bottom to my swim suit...fortunately I was in deep water at the time. It was amazing to me how strong it was to get whipped back and forth across the wake of the boat. Maggie also did the tube and she loved it. She never fell off and eventually they reeled her so another person could have a turn.

We got home late, after midnight. Everyone was really tired and went straight to sleep, but not me. I hurt so bad, and I had so many upper body cramps I couldn't get comfortable. I tried to ice myself and that didn't work. I took 2 benadryl and that back fired and just made me more restless. I hurt to bad that I felt like I had restless leg. I thrashed and moaned and was just generally uncomfortable. I couldn't even watch TV I hurt so bad...I finally took a really hot shower and then managed to fall asleep. I slept till 10. I just started cramping up again so I took more aleve and got out the heating pad.

Not fair that so much fun can be so painful!

I have another Ebay rant...this week I listed some tights on ebay. I made these tights many years ago for a friend and she gave them back to me to be repaired. I fixed them but we never hooked up for her to get them back. I didn't charge her to repair them. I finally asked her if she even wanted them back b/c she's lost a bunch of weight. She said she didn't want them back and I listed them on ebay. I said in my description that I was going to sell them for a friend. It was my intention to give her the money. In process she saw the ebay listing and got angry that I was selling the tights she had given me. She emailed the person who bid on them that they were being sold illegally and that they were poor quality. The bidder had me cancel her bid b/c she didn't want to be in the middle of an argument. What this person did was illegal on ebay...badmouthing someone's product is frowned upon.

I can't believe how hateful this lady has been (the original tights owner, not the bidder) She is someone I used to be friends with. I don't really know where it went wrong, but she has become a really hateful person. I dislike how she acts so much that as a rule I avoid going anywhere that she is. I brought her into CTR and we used to travel together. Somewhere along the line I became annoyed with her. She wanted to control every riding opportunity we had, she was hard for me to camp with and I just began to avoid her. We have had some private email battles, but publicly I try to be polite to her even though it's obvious that we don't like each other very much but I can't say she does the same. She is one of the people who made negative comments about my video to a public list I'm on...she just seems set on ruining my fun...

I know that I need to learn not to care. I am really pretty sure I know my path, but I get rattled when people tell me I'm screwing up. I feel like I'm right, but then I worry that I'm making some tragic mistake that makes me listen to the people instead of telling them to go stuff themselves. I don't want to be one of those deluded people who won't listen to new ideas or can't learn from folks who may have more knowledge than me. I know that in this case, it's just that I don't believe that she knows more than me. I think she's mean spirited and petty. There are no civil conversations between us. I hate feeling like I"m seeking approval. I would so much rather be able just to tell these folks bugger off.