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Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Every other Tuesday Peter games with his friends. I usually really enjoy coming home on Tuesday evening and being home alone. I eat wings, watch girl TV or movies, sew, chat on the phone, or just read a book. But I'm unhampered by anyone else's desires or noise. But tonight I would really have liked to have had someone to have fun with. I'm missing having someone to run around with, hang out with, etc. I mostly have grown very used to being on my own more and independent, but tonight, I would have loved to have had a girlfriend. My former run around friend has no room in her existence for anything except boyfriend and Faire...I don't even ask anymore as i know I'll just be met with a wave of excuses from "I'm broke" to "I'm tired" to "I don't have time" All of which really mean "I don't want to" I have accepted that this friend and I share a memory of good, past friendship, with resemblance of current friendship. We remain friendly, but we are not friends. Our interests have diverged. I know it happens...but I still miss the comfort of the friend I could call 5 times per day just to talk about nothing. And, our value systems were never the same. This was always bound to happen.
Peter has been wanting a keurig coffee maker, so that's what he gave us as a family Christmas gift. Only, we didn't wait till Christmas. Since we're expecting our first cold snap of the year, he bought it yesterday when he went shopping. Only problem is that I want coffee and it's 9:30, so that's out b/c I don't have any decaf :-( It makes really great coffee. I'm thinking with this coffee maker and some tasty coffee mate...I may be able to avoid starbucks altogether.
I used my birthday money my dad has sent me to buy myself a 19 inch TV/DVD combo for my office/dining room. I took over the dining room in april after we redid the living room. I had been using a large card table as a desk, but I decided I would rather have a real table. I had been about to go to salvation army, but remembered we had a table in the garage. So, today, Peter brought it in for me and now we have a table in the front room again. I will still use it as a desk and sewing table, but now we have a real place to eat supper too, which is nice. I'm looking forward to getting the embroidery machine off this cramped little desk in the living room. The TV is kind of small, but for an extra, listen to the TV while cooking, TV and a TV to watch while sewing it's perfect.
I have a friend coming from East TX to celebrate Thanksgiving. She is recently divorced and this is the kids' first Thanksgiving to be shared by their dad, so she didn't want to be alone. She's going to bring her horse and we're going to go riding on Friday (just in time for it to be cold) She was supposed to stay the whole weekend, but remembered that she had a scouting thing she had volunteered for, so now she has to leave early. I'm bummed. She is also my secretary for the Girl Scout Scamper, so we'll spend at least part of Thursday going over all the stuff she'll do before the ride so that we can be up to speed. I figure I can use the help making the labels and packets up anyway and she can learn what will have to be done, so it's a win/win for everyone.
Back to sewing...time to change the thread.
Monday, November 22, 2010
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Sunday, November 21, 2010
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Saturday, November 20, 2010
Tomorrow should be another great day. We have church in the morning and then a brunch out at a new restaurant and then seeing Harry Potter at 1:45. peter has complained in the past that he doesn't get to see enough of us, so I'm trying to make sure that he gets his fill. :-)
Hopefully there will be some time tomorrow to ride just a bit in the pasture as well, since Liberty appears to be back and ready for work. I have to gush over my boy a bit. He was wonderful today. He handled as though he'd never been off work. He was trucking along at a nice quiet pace. he trotted when asked, walked when asked, stopped and backed when asked...well, his side pass was a little rusty, but he was just great. I am not sure he'll ever make a TTC horse, but I don't think I care.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Joe Bear continues to hang in there. Some days I really feel like he's screaming at me to let him go, but then other days he runs toward us wanting his bucket of feed. He's very antisocial with the herd now, when he used to be in the middle of things. I'm not sure if it means he's ready to leave us or not, but it's so hard to know when the right time is. I find myself wishing he'd just lay down on his own and make it easy for me.
If I adopt another horse right now, I will feel obligated to move someone else on. There isn't a horse in my herd I want to part with (RJ included) Plus, I worry about the stress of adding a new horse to Joe Bear's life. He's taken RJ in stride...they get along great, but his attitude toward life in general makes me wonder if we just need to leave well enough alone for now.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Peter has been fixing the back fence. It has been falling apart for ages, but now it's finally going to be safe for all dogs, except maybe Frankie. It's next to impossible to keep him in.
Now I'm done with working and I'm going to watch TV with Peter. I'm finishing up a disc of True Blood. Then we'll watch something that Peter wants to watch. I think I'll crochet or play with my sims...But I will take it easy. i have some bags to sew up and string, but I think I just want to enjoy relaxing.
I think that I will start working with RJ this week. Peter looked at him today and agreed that he'd be a good size for him...if he rode. Of course, I'm always fantasizing that he will if we found the right horse for him.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
I'm working on the embroidery for the Christmas ride. The design that Liz and I liked best is very time consuming...more than i thought it would be. It has lots of color changes in it and each shirt takes about an hour. I'm still supposed to make helmet covers for prizes as well. I feel very stressed about everything that needs to get done (I still have things to do before next week's final follies as well) and I have decided to talk to Liz and Alanna about using some of my extra bags for prizes instead if that's OK with them. I hate blogging about this before I can actually talk to them, but I'm sure it will work out. If they really, really want the helmet covers, I will make it happen. It's probably not as intimidating as it seems right now. I have plenty of bags, and I only have to put string in them, so I'm crossing my fingers. I think Maggie is going to supply treats too, but I can't remember and need to ask them.
As I'm getting older I'm finding it harder to multitask. I'm getting better to do one task at a time better and more quickly, but I'm finding that it's hard for me to mix up stuff. I wanted do final follies stuff, but find myself working on Christmas ride. I wanted to go to 7IL to scope the trails and ride in a couple weeks, but I find that the idea of leaving town before the Christmas ride stresses me out. I may still work it out, but right now I think I won't leave town till the Christmas ride is over. It seems like one at a time works much better.
I was feeling down today b/c I wanted to be riding, but I feel really good about everything I have gotten down. I have been needing a quiet day at home with no one else here and I finally got it. I just expected to like it better :-) I'm not sure why I haven't been enjoying it more. I feel like I should be ecstatic. I have watched my Grey's and Private Practice (finally got caught up) and I have Sookie waiting for me in the DVD player. I have Miller chill in the fridge and I'm hoping Peter will bring me home some ice cream (we only buy the pint sized containers now b/c I won't over eat it) Yet, I feel kind of blah...Maybe after being so busy I don't quite know how to do nothing? Or even slightly nothing?
Another interesting development that I'm not sure how to take...it's on a totally different subject. I got my new manual for my work and it has a clause about missed visits. It says that holidays, sickness or therapist vacation are not valid reasons for missing a visit with a client. If I am sick, I'm supposed to try to make it up within the same week (I already do that) If it's a holiday, I have always just tried to reschedule or turned it in that it was a holiday. Now I'm supposed to call the office and tell them that I'm going to miss and they are to send a substitute therapist. I had never been aware of that piece of the puzzle, so I'm guessing it's a new policy, but I think it's crazy. I'm going to find some sub contractors (massage and music therapy) and get them signed up so I can have my own subs and then I won't have to resort to telling the agency if I have to ever miss a day. I do a pretty good job of staying clear, but sometimes I just need a day off. I think having a subcontractor will be useful so that I can take those days off in good conscience. Of course, the flip side is that my clients typically don't want a sub but at least this way I will have more control over the situation.
So, I will go back to tshirts and embroidery and TV. Maybe I'll play with sims 3 a little too. I made my first creation a vampire.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Ok…I don’t really think I’m THAT busy. Well, maybe I am. I have a hard time gauging. All I know for sure, is that lately I am just so stressed out. It started before Pole Canyon when I was a first time secretary. I had a brief respite but discovered that even traveling to Missouri to see a friend was stressful. Then my horse got hurt and I haven’t been able to ride, but because I have so much going on, I’m not entirely sure that I have minded not riding.
I was supposed to go riding this weekend. (Maggie is gone with her dad and I can ride Dixie) I could still go if I wanted to. I was invited, which is way, way cool. Usually I hear of people going places and I just sort of ask myself along (which is perfectly acceptable among my friends) But this time, I was actually invited and encouraged. And I thought I wanted to go. Until I started thinking about everything I have to do for the Christmas ride. Then I thought that perhaps I would be better off to stay home and get other stuff done. Peter will be gone gaming and it occurred to me that being home alone with my embroidery machine and sewing machine and lots of good DVD’s might be more relaxing than hauling somewhere.
So, here’s what I have going on. I don’t know if this is more or less than the next person. I just know that I feel really overwhelmed right now.
I’m the manager for the NATRC Girl Scout Scamper in March. I have a manual and good helpers and it’s far away, so while I think about it a lot, I’m not really stressed about it (yet) I’m the secretary for the Christmas ride. It’s a little more immediate and I’m making some of the prizes, but I’m on top of it, so again, not all that stressed. I’m managing the final follies with Kate love in 10 days…it’s pretty much under control. A few prizes to finish up, but nothing major. I will have a big grocery shopping trip next week, but other than that, nothing too worrisome.
I’m homeschooling Maggie and working full time. I’m thinking this is where I’m having my most trouble. I love teaching Maggie, but it seems not to be getting done as much as I would like. She’s learning by leaps and bounds. I have a good curriculum and she’s very motivated. When I grade her work she is doing quite well. However, I feel like as much as I’m working, it’s getting put on the back burner. Maggie’s dad and Peter were both supposed to be helping me. They don’t really (sorry, peter, it’s true) He says he’s discovered he’s not a good teacher and Maggie doesn’t really like to learn from him (this is also true) Maggie’s dad will tell her to do her work, but he’s more into teaching her stuff not in a book.
I think the true source of my stress is because I really like being home and lately I have had no home time. I’m working late most nights and on the road a lot of days. I like the number of hours I’m working, but I hate the lack of free time I feel like I have had. I’m wondering what to do with Maggie. I can’t afford any private school this year, but I think next year I will send her to a homeschool 2 day program, or I’ll enroll her in the K-12 public school program so we can get more used to a regular schedule so she can be ready for high school if we decide to go this route.
The funny part is this is all pressure I put on myself. Maggie is learning lots of good stuff, she isn’t feeling like she’s missing out. She likes the traveling and the days of doing her schoolwork. I just worry so much about getting everything done properly all the way around.
I have had a little work stress lately. I started working for my contract to have regular contract work, but they have been really coming down when I take days off lately. I know that October was way busier than I ever want to be again, but I only missed about 6 hours of work total for the month. I’m a contract worker. The reason I am a contract worker is so that I can take care of my own schedule. I’m not really sure why they are on my case all of a sudden. I typically end up making up the days as well, so I don’t get it. I usually reschedule if I have to miss a day, not just not show up. It’s all very strange. I know that I have been lacking in the last month. I know that I am close to burn out. I just don’t seem to know how to get away from it and stop the madness. I think that it will be December before the madness is completely over. I just have to hang in there and hope for the best and try to hang on till Christmas.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Joe Bear is kind of flagging on us also. He's eating less consistently and his weight isn't good. Maggie is starting to accept that he just not going to be with us forever. Poor old guy. As long as he's not hurting and he's eating, I'll probably keep feeding him, but I've started to notice on the cold mornings that he has more trouble now and I suspect that when winter comes it will be the end. Up to now the summers have always been the hardest for him. Since the winters are now also looking hard, it's time for him to go to Rainbow bridge.
I found out yesterday that the 17 year old daughter of an endurance riding family died in a car wreck. I don't know the family personally, only from facebook and email, but her death has really hit me hard. It's made me remember again just how precious life is and how quickly it can all go away.