Struggles and then Relief

I had a long conversation with my father yesterday. I had not talked to in a while so we talked for almost an hour. One of the things we talked about was my ongoing relationship or lack there of with my stepson and his wife. He encouraged me to always be nice no matter what. I told him that so far we have been but that we are losing patience.   However it got me to thinking about whether that is really the right path to take. 

So this is the next day. I’m in a good quiet place today. I finished up my class project and have started some new clients. I have actually had a couple of days of not having anything I’m pressed to do. It’s weird. I like it.  I played sims last night and watched TV. It was good 

Whoever will call on the name of the Lord...

Shall be saved Romans 10:13

Never thought about the fact that no one was saved in the Old Testament did not have salvation. And we’re not saved because it was all before Christ. The only way to be saved is through Christ. 

"And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of Jehovah shall be delivered; for in mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be those that escape, as Jehovah hath said, and among the remnant those whom Jehovah doth call."

‭‭Joel‬ ‭2:32‬ ‭ASV‬‬

If we put everything on Jesus he will take care of us. 

This is where Max accused us of zoning out but I was taking notes. Honest! 

There are some people who are trying to get to heaven without ever touching first base. 

It’s been a rough week at the Perryman house. Not tough like a third world country where people are dying from starvation, but tough in a first world human problems kind of way. I have been finishing up a class in Perinatal Music Therapy. I have my final project about half done and have an idea of what I’m doing in the rest but it will take some time and concentration to finish. And I’ve picked up some more clients so that I can reach our goal of being out of debt by the end of the year. It may be lofty but I’m  going for it. 

As a result if this ‘hard work’ Maggie and I did something we haven’t done in years--we sat and played Sims 4 for an entire day. It was great fun, but I think all that screen time kept me up last night. 

Mike did actually have a hard day Friday. He has been trying to get back into the good graces (for lack of a better term) of his son and our daughter in law since about the time we met. It’s ancient history now but things didn’t go well from the first time we met. She decided she didn’t like me the first time she met me and he followed her. I’m pretty sure her parents don’t like me either. In the two years we have been together we feel like we have been sucking up and begging them to spend time with us and love us. Just last weekend we saw them for Father’s Day but we got stuck at the end of the table and the siblings and their families were very cozy and we felt like an after thought. This is pretty much par for the course and it doesn’t so much make us angry as it hurts and makes us sad. Mike was able to talk to his son about this on Friday and I have very little hope that we will ever find common ground. We each have things that the other has done that’s hurtful. Mike suggested that we set everything down and move forward. We have all been hurt and we can’t go back and fix it. However Mike didn’t feel like, based on their conversation, that we can see any changes. They are so entrenched in their anger and resentment that I don’t see how we can make head way. 

There was a song I felt compelled to sing today (and we did). It’s called Your Hands and it’s sung by JJ Heller. The words are below. When I felt the need to sing it I didn’t know why I would need it sung. 

I have unanswered prayers. I have trouble I wish wasn’t there

And I have asked a thousand ways That you would take my pain away

You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand How to walk this weary land

Make straight the paths that crooked lie Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking, heaven stands When my heart is breaking. I never leave your hands

When you walked upon the earth You healed the broken, lost and hurt

I know you hate to see me cry One day you will set all things right

Yeah, one day you will set all things right

When my world is shaking, heaven stands. When my heart is breaking. I never leave your hands

We also have some sadness about the little girl who used to come over and ride. Her mom has continued to fall apart and we finally had to walk away from the situation. Speaking with someone else who is part of the situation I have begun to pray for her again. I never really stopped praying but I have been praying about what our role needs to be in her life if anything. I don’t know how to help the child without being involved with her mother. 

Feeling guilty

I wish I could let go of feeling guilty or bad when I can't spend every moment with my husband.  He doesn't expect it. He knows I Have work to do, hobbies I like and that since I work full time I can't do stuff during the day like he does.  I think part of it is that I want to be with him b/c I just like being with him. But I am so far behind on the class I'm taking.  Then I get like today where I get up early to do my work and have so many interruptions and can't concentrate. It's almost time to leave for work now and I haven't accomplished much of anything :-(  He loves TV and I love quiet. I used to be able to multi task and watch tv and read at the same time, but that seems to have evaporated with age.  I have no reason to feel guilty because I know I have his full support.  It's just hard.

Sermon notes 6/3

Are we willing to be hated to spread the word of God?

We should do what pleases our Lord and Savior no matter how it will be received in the world. We want to be the light of the world. We want to be genuine and not fake.

If we are not experiencing persecution at some level we aren’t doing it right.

At the very least we should be considered nice people. It’s sad when other people don’t think we’re nice. But niceness doesn’t have the impact on people we think it doesn’t.  People will think we are weird when we start sharing the gospel.

We aren’t here to edit the message. We are here to deliver the message. Many people want to take it easy non believers instead of giving it to them straight. I admit to being guilty if this. I want the world to like me and then I’m not the Christian I should be. I have avoided telling people about hell. I like people to like me.

The Lord is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. We are just his ambassadors. We should tell them the truth. There is nothing new about the gospel turning people off. It is also true that some people are dying to hear the gospel.