Monday, August 22, 2016

Another weird dream

I have been starting my mornings with strange dreams. They occur during the time my alarm goes off, or just before and go through when I finally push up and get out of bed.

This morning I dreamed that I was in a college cafeteria, but it was outdoors. I had been working at a long table, waiting for lunch time with my friends. I had my stuff all over the end of the table. My friends started to pile in and I got up to get my lunch. One of my music therapy teachers, Joe Pinson,  was there ordering food. He didn't realize it was the first day of classes...he used to teach college so I thought that was funny that he didn't realize classes were supposed to start that day.  I was trying to eat healthy so I got a banana and a yogurt and a tiny soft shelled taco.  When I got back to the table I found that one of my  friends had sat in my spot. I asked her to move and she refused saying her husband was coming and she needed a spot for both of them.  I replied that Michael was also coming and that all my stuff had been there. She told me she had moved me down the table.  So began part of my dream when every time I got up, my stuff and been moved. Finally I could not find my things or my food.  The disrespect and the lack of caring really got to me in the dream.  I ended up going off on the girl who had moved my things and her husband.  I was really angry with them and I tried to tell them all the things I have been holding back. Only every time I would start to get to the point of what I was saying I would lose my voice and no one could hear me.  I thought that one of the others in the group was on my side and that she would try to help me, but she agreed with them.  I left the table with Michael, in tears, trying to explain everything I was feeling, but still having no voice.

I don't need any interpreter to know what this dream is about.  I felt disrespected and undervalued in the group and Michael stood by me, which is awesome.  I couldn't tell my friends my concerns b/c I didn't feel like they would hear me anyway. In the end I just made a lot of people angry and accomplished nothing.  I think this dream embodies some of my recent relationship frustration where there are people with whom I would I like to talk but it is an awkward situation and talking it out may not even help.  It embodied my frustration with not being heard and feeling like my opinion is not important. The worst part is that when I tried to have my say,no one could hear me and I changed no one.  The best part of the dream is that my subconscious knows (and my conscious mind already knew) that Michael is truly on my side and my friend.  He is my rock and the best thing that has happened to me in this lifetime.

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