Losing Faith

I have gained great faith in God but lost a lot of faith in people. I find that I no longer feel like I have any idea how people are going to react or behave. I find that people are so sensitive over things I think they shouldn't be...but then again I have my own sensitivity as well.  So, even in my disappointment and disillusionment I do still have the ability to look at it from both sides.

I have gotten to a point where I'm not convinced I like facebook very much at all. Seems like people are overly sensitive about what they see or hear and instead of asking questions, like they would if they were in person, they attack. People post cute horse photos and get harassed for something someone doesn’t like. 

It seems like people don’t want honesty. There are no more emotional dialogs between people anymore. I am often sad when people are honest with me but typically I already know the truths. I know who I am.  I know the good and the bad and the part of me that is not loved or welcome. If I am going to honestly share my feelings then I have to ready to hear honesty from others. That really is the hard part...hearing when other people are angry or hurt and then having to live with the hurt I caused. I feel that hurt profoundly and I don’t like it. 

Then there is the feeling that you had friends that you trust. But then you find out they don’t hold your interests at heart. 

And then there is thinking that you are over it and don’t hurt anymore but find that you do. Sometimes I feel like I’m the last person on earth to understand other people. 

Today I  feel sad. I thought I was on the back side of it but grief sometimes smacks you upside the back of your head. I’m sure the rain and my inability to focus on other things doesn’t help. There are so many people out there with so much worse going on than the trivial sadness of my day. It’s kind of s crying day.