I have been negotiating various new relationship since my divorce. Some have been with girlfriends and some have been dating people. I have dated several people since I'm out in October. Most were not serious but we're just me stretching my wings and seeing what it felt like to be a single person. Most of my friends said to not get involved with someone but to take time and learned who I am. Only, I have always felt like I knew who I was so while I understood their advice I did not necessarily agree with it. I had other friends who have told me their tails of how they we're divorced but then quickly met somebody that captured their heart and they found themselves in a relationship again. Most of these stories are very positive and happy. It seems sometimes you just need the right person and all logic goes out the window and you feel for them love that you never expected to feel.
I have had one such experience , though brief , since my divorce. I went out with someone who I thought was the whole package. And I was completely wrong. He was not at all who I thought he was and after 2 months all the small and discrepancies that he told me about himself came to light and that was the end of that. It left me feeling embarrassed and gives me pause for the future. How do I know if I found the right one? What if I find that feeling again and I'm afraid to trust it and miss out on something real? How do you really know if the person you think you love is really the one you love forever? And when you're pretty sure they are the one you love forever how do you tell the people who have watched you flounder and make mistakes? When do you stop worrying about what your friends say and just Plunge in because you're sure you got it right this time?
These are some of the things I am contemplating this morning. The thoughts fill my heart and my head with Terror and with a warm sense of peace that maybe I'm on the verge of getting it right this time.