First ride on Joe Bob--reprint from The Adventures of Joe Bob. (and an addendum)

Today was our first outing together. It was not as Idyllic as either of us would have liked.  We started out OK, heading over toward Mike's sister's house. We picked up a dog there, a border collie who is really into chasing horse tails. I was able to keep her in front of us, but either my nerves or his got the better of us both and we ended up getting really short and nervous.  He got impatient waiting on me while I talked to my brother in law and his wife, but then we went on. Somewhere in the next 5 minutes he got really agitated and I had to dismount to fix his curb chain which was way too tight. I was riding him in the wonder bit as I have been advise, but may try to find my snaffle for the next ride.  I had to get back to my brother in law's house to borrow a footstool so I could remount. I'm thinking I need a footstool everywhere I go where I might dismount and need to remount. Then he wouldn't stand by the mounting block so we went round and round, back and forth and generally had him a sweat just to remount. He finally stopped in front of the block on the off side, and I went for it.
In the meantime, Mike had walked down the drive way and he seemed really nervous about all the dogs and Mike in the distance. He was also hearing his herd whinny and I'm sure he wanted to be barn sour, but he is so well trained that he didn't "do" anything bad.  A few times we walked sideways down the road, but as soon as I moved his butt over and we turned around to face away from home and relax he was fine. Then we hit a stretch where he was almost perfect...then he heard the herd again and got a little squirrely.

All 4 feet stayed on the ground at all times.  He just got quick and agitated and my own fears of being run off with came into play. I suspect they are dumb b/c every time I whoaed him or moved his hip he immediately disengaged and stopped...good boy Joe Bob. He hasn't been ridden in quite some time, so I feel pretty good about the way things went. I never felt unsafe and I felt like he was trying really hard all the time to do what I asked. We did some obstacle work which went pretty well too. Then I dismounted and walked back down the road to Mike and then we came home together.  I jogged him in hand which went great until I rolled my right ankle on a rock and went down on my left knee.  Joe Bob stopped and looked at me like I was a fool and that I should get up b/c I was embarrassing him in front of the other horses. He stood perfectly still.  He let me lean on him to get back up. Good Joe Bob.

When I took off his tack I saw that my saddle left smooth hair but there were not even sweat marks so the specialized I have always had for Liberty may not be wide enough. Or I may not have ridden him long enough to make him sweat under that part of the saddle.  I don't know him well enough to know if he acts badly if he's uncomfortable or if he just keeps plugging along.  I have a couple other saddles to try so I can find out later on if another one fits better.  I may also try Sherman's walking horse bit or a couple different snaffles I have.

In reflection it could be that I'm used to my little bitty horses and I just need to get used to how he moves. My walkers always needed a pretty snug rein, Joe Bob may need a looser one. I need to experiment.

My knee turned out to be a bloody mess :-(

I'm still thinking every time I ride a new horse...why aren't they as good as Liberty. This isn't fair of course, b/c Liberty does plenty of not good stuff and I always joke and say "Liberty wasn't always Liberty" Meaning, of course, that he had to be trained and grow into himself.  However, Joe has so much personality it's going to be a fun journey.

Tomorrow if it's not raining I'm going to ride Vandy. I have a bridle for him to put his bit on...he is more the shape and size of Liberty and I may end up just using his Hackamore. IT's my plan to get him a teal bridle from Trail Blazer's tack with a breast collar to match b/c he is so much smaller through the chest than even Liberty. I was able to make Liberty's breast collar fit Joe Bob, but I had to adjust it so much that isn't pleasing either, so Joe will also need his own breast collar. I like to have a set of tack for each horse when possible. Otherwise Liberty, Hermoso and Vandy will end up wearing a pink breast collar b/c they are small and so is it...with different colored head stalls and nothing will match. That pink head stall is so tiny it only ever fit Fiera and Ollie and I was shocked it fit Fiera.  Of course, all this stuff costs money so for now I'll just acquire pieces slowly. 

Joe Bob

Joe Bob is new to our herd. He comes by way of a friend of a friend. He is 12, has been with the same person since he was 3, has excellent TWH blood lines and a witty personality.  I have only known him a few days and I am already in love.  He runs up and past you and then stops and backs up to have his tush scratched.  He runs straight at you in a terrifying way (he's a big boy) and then stops a foot or two in front of you and smacks his mouth together as though he were a foal.  There is a part of him I think will never grow up.  He runs up and says "I'm Bob, Joe Bob" (like James Bond) and then sticks out his tongue and says "just kidding"  He gets along with every single horse in the herd, but right now his special friend is Vandy.  The two of them hang out at the round bale with the cows like it's the office water cooler talking about all the adventures they will have together. I see it now...me on Joe Bob and my grand daughter on Vandy.

He seems afraid of nothing. This morning when I fed he tried to follow me up the steps and into the cabin/office/feed room/craft room.  When I went in and closed the door, he walked over the porch several times.  He politely went to his bucket to eat beet pulp and alfalfa pellets with a little bit of feed. Stormy, the foal, was at her own bucket.  When he finished his he came over to Stormy and asked politely if he could have some of her food. She said no and he left with no discussion.  Then he came back and asked again and they shared what he had left.

Sherman is very aggressive about his food. The other morning he came after Joe Bob when I brought the food outside. I could very easily have been run over, but sweet Joe Bob spun around and out of the way, avoiding Sherman and not knocking me over.

I love the way I call him and he comes running from wherever he is in the pasture.

I feel so blessed to have this boy in my life. I can hardly wait for our adventure to begin.

The Holidays and other such fragmented anecdotes

Today I sit at home in a quiet space. Mike when to church and I stayed home. I feel bad about staying home, but my face is a combination of black and blue and swollen red from the beating it took when my face made contact with a foal raising her head really fast.  I was bent over putting more feed in her feeder when she suddenly raised up, smacking me square in the face.  I saw stars, thought I would cry, and pass out all the at the same time. I was so stunned that I thought about crying out for help, but not only was the wind blowing 50 miles per hour, my half deaf husband (really, not being mean) was in the house and wouldn't have heard me anyway. So I staggered back and finished feeding, all while feeling blood rush down my nose and from my mouth.  When I got back in the house I was happy to see it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but my gums were bleeding above my two front teeth...Never thought I would consider that I might have to sing "all I want for Christmas is my Two front Teeth" ever again.  Considering I have such a high prejudice over people with missing teeth I was very relieved to find that they were loose, just bleeding and skinned up.  I immediately got ice on my nose and my mouth, but needless to say it still swelled up and I feel like I was in a cage fight to the death.  Poor little mare didn't mean to do it...purely she zigged when I zagged.  It's the first time in 30 years that anything like this has happened to me...ouch.

Today it is so cold and Blustery. I can't remember a morning it has been this cold in Texas in...well, I can't remember. It reminds me a little of when I left Iowa, thinking the weather would be better in Indiana and we got a huge ice storm with temps at or below zero just a month or after I moved there.  The water froze on the troughs and we couldn't go anything except take buckets of warm water out to the horses because it was too cold for words.  Finally the troughs overflowed with the warm water we had dumped on the troughs to melt it and then we had to carry buckets out to offer water every couple hours.  Everything was in a state of emergency...made us happy we had hot dogs and eggs in the house.

Last night we had our holiday dinner with Mike;s family and it was really great. Good food, good fun, good family.  We stayed way too late and slept way to little, but it was totally wonderful. I love being part of this family.  It was so much fun to play with Xandra and William (my grandchildren) and hold the baby, Jonathon, though I think he does not like my perfume bc I couldn't get him to quit crying. I'm fairly good with babies usually, but I didn't have the right moves yesterday it seems.

I'm heading out to feed horses in a few minutes, but it's so cold. I'm not looking forward to it.  I'm making some hot water up to warm their bellies with their mashes.  I usually carry a bucket around to each other their buckets, but I think today I will bring the buckets in and then take the buckets back out to them rather than have to be dressed up like an eskimo toting heavy, wet feed around.  It's been kind of a weird, round robin kind of  day with one task reminding me of another. I have been paying bills, canceling subscriptions to save money (trying to figure out how to get my drop box files over to one of my other 2 gmail accounts so I can save myself the money I have been spending on drop box each month. I have to take violet out periodically because she is kennel confined.  She is really good about telling me when she needs to go out.

I had to make the unfortunate decision not to travel to Missouri for Christmas. With all the money we spent on the dog, we just don't have the money to travel. Plus we have to take Violet anywhere we go and our family isn't particularly dog friendly.   So, we will have a quiet Christmas here at home and finish getting me moved to Purmela.

Heading out to the cold...

Analysis Paralysis--horse feeding

I have a herd of  various horses with various needs...They eat different amounts, need different calorie counts and have different positions in the herd. I'm trying to figure out what to feed and how to feed them best that each one gets what he/she needs. 

Gorgeous Dixie Lynn--pretty much lives on pasture, but needs a few more calories through the        winter--near bottom of the herd.

Mike's Dixie--lives on just pasture and hay and is fat--near bottom of the herd

Sherman--needs a fair amount of high quality feed and is a bully about being fed, so needs a larger  amount of feed and needs to be kept from stealing the other horse's feed

Liberty--Much like Sherman, needs a higher volume of feed, but can't keep his feed away from  Sherman when he wants it.   

Duke--Mike's 3 year old who is still a stallion (this will soon be rectified). He was out running around  with Mike's Dixie, a foal (Stormy) and a mule until we penned him up to start getting him halter  broke and turned into a solid citizen.  He has gone from heavy to too skinny. I'm contemplating  letting him out to eat more forage than the hay he has been getting. I have been feeding him a couple  times per day, but he frets when left alone and has not done well in confinement. So I need to make  sure he can eat all his feed, but that he feels secure enough to actually start eating again.

Jezebelle--Mike's mule who is on her way to live somewhere else (someone want a mule that is  mostly wild and likes to stomp dogs, gorgeous, but cagey and hates dogs.

Stormy--6 month old foal who is of good weight...a little too heavy but since it's winter I don't want  to cut her back too much.

Hermoso--Paso fino gelding from a rescue in florida...very cute, not a bad weight but could gain  more. Hasn't come to Mike's yet, so I'm not sure what will happen when he comes here.  He  currently eats Bluebonnet Omega Force feed (which I love) but not a huge amount.

Vandy--Needs a little more weight, but has held his weight well at Teresa's over the last month on  pasture, getting fed sporadically. Also currently eats Bluebonnet.

Joe Bob--Yes, his name is really Joe Bob. He has been on one scoop of One and only, which I can't  get down here. Not sure about his ease of keeping yet, but he may be slightly insulin resistant and  may have to have his sugar watched.

Liberty, Sherman, Vandy, Hermoso, and Gorgeous Dixie were all with me in Bluff Dale.  Duke, Jezabelle, Stormy and Mike's dixie were all at his house to start.  He fed his horses Omolene 300 (because of the foal, who was an orphan) and Country Acres 12/8 pellets. I fed my horses Bluebonnet Omega force. It is similar to Ultium and another ADM feed that was high in Omega 3's.  The price point is around $25 per bag give or take.  Mike's feed is much less expensive and I can get it down the road, but I have been so happy with the Bluebonnet I really hate to switch. It seems like they could all eat it and be ok if I fed it in adjusted amounts, but dang, it's so expensive. I have wondered about feeding the "working" horses the better feed and the ones who are just hanging out something else.  

I know there are a million different ways to do this and there isn't a right or a wrong, but there are so many choices I have a hard time making up my mind.

What I haven't been able to decide or figure out is if omolene is good for the horses or not...it's been around for so long but it seems like it has too much sugar? Shrug. I have been guilty of buying the TSC 12% sweet feed in a pinch too and they don't seem to be suffering.

But the real dilemma is how to get some weight on Duke really fast. So I would love some suggestions...

Anyway, pardon the paralysis, and please I do take constructive advice.

I must be getting old

I have gone to bed before 9 the last 4 nights...2 of them were because we were camping, one because we were pooped from camping, and  last night was because at 8:42 we were just tired.  Tonight I am at "my" house in bluff dale. I had a glorious afternoon of getting things done planned, only to have truck trouble in Hico. Of course Mike was there to save the day. Turned out that the oil filter had blown out all the oil. Easy fix, but turned my productive afternoon into an unproductive one.

I have had to begin to admit that I am a morning person.  I'm not an extreme morning person, but I confess I'd rather get up early and do some things I enjoy from riding to working out to just drinking coffee and watching TV, in the morning than at night.  I started to watch a show this evening and at the first commercial break I turned it off. I flipped through my DVR and instead of finding a show I wanted to watch I deleted half the contents.  I don't like to pay bills at night and I love to crochet and watch TV most evenings, but tonight I have a cat in my lap and we are quite cozy.  

I am coming to the end of my time here in Bluff Dale and I'm ready to move on. I didn't see clients today because of the truck and I plan to tomorrow, but I also know that I'm not really loving dragging myself into the city.  I still haven't gotten word about my second interview back and I hate to not keep working as much as possible or January will be very lean.  I have things lined up, I just have to follow up and make them happen. I don't really want to start delivering pizzas for a living, though it certainly wouldn't be the first time I have done something like that.  

In any case, I'm heading to bed soon. I have been texting Mike but he hasn't been answering, which tells me he has probably already fallen asleep in his chair.  I have on a snuggy and a cat and I'm still chilly, so it may be time to soon crawl into bed with a good book.  

Speaking of books, I have received three books from the book club that Natalie had us do. They all look good.

Mike and I had a great ride this weekend at Parrie Haynes in spite of the cold.  He got first and first. He told me if I was fierce enough to scare off the competition then I could have blue ribbons too. Liberty and I weren't on our best game this weekend. Amy got first and Kate second. I know that they had great rides on their calm and quiet ponies. It makes me wonder again why I do this with this horse. He is emotional and naughty and misbehaves so often, but I love him dearly and we are a good team.  This week just wasn't our week.  There are a lot of good people in CP this year and who knows if we will stack up when it's all said and done.  Vet judge said he was a little off in the left front...that is the leg from Colorado.  Liberty may be getting to an age where we have to take it easier. he's only 15 and I hate to think of that because he has the heart and the spirit of a youngster.  But he may need an easier life :-(

I was going to get up and ride in the morning and Thursday like I did last week...only I realize that in spite of having a couple of saddles here I don't have girths or stirrups and no bridles or helmets, so I guess I will be doing work the next couple mornings instead. It's ok as I need to do my music therapy CEU stuff and that will be good to have out of the way.  I just felt so great when I got out and rode last week and soon I will be dealing with black gumbo farm mud instead of sandy farm soil.  oh well...

Weird Mood Monday

Mike and I had a great party this last weekend on what would have been our wedding day (if we hadn't already gotten married in Oct.) The weather was fairly pleasant. About 10-12 people showed up, mostly riders, but a few non-riders.  I got to ride both Hermoso and Vandy...never got around to riding Liberty, who didn't seem to really care.  Hermoso is a little rock star and gaits beautifully. I still haven't gotten anything but a nice walk and trot out of Vandy, but I don't really care. His laid back personality is amazing and he trots very smoothly, so it's all good.  I'm sure I will sort out the gaiting when I get his saddle situation worked out.  We were going to ride on Sunday but a cold, blustery wind blew in sending the remaining riders home. Mike and I spent the afternoon watching TV and I crocheted.

I was feeling oddly anti-social and quiet.  He slept on and off and we had talked about going to the movies, which we didn't do because I just didn't want to put real clothes back on after putting on my PJ's.  I think I really disappointed Mike, but he didn't say so until later. I hated that I did. I told him to speak up and let me know what he really thinks. I could have been talked into going to the movies, it just wasn't my first instinct to go once I got comfy.  I should have sucked it up and gone...but we will go tonight so it's all ok

Mike had to run to waco, but will be back to watch the riding and learn about the Paso Fino horses and gaiting later.  Right now I'm sitting in my PJ's contemplating my first cup of coffee and knowing I need to get off the couch very soon and feed the horses.  Again I'm comfy in my pj's.

I am in a weird in between transition state. I have stuff and Mike's and stuff here. I don't live anywhere right now, but I long to be in Purmela FT.  In the past I could have split my time pretty easily, but now I just want to be where Michael is.  I made the decision that I could not drive into Austin every week to see clients, even if it's 4 of them. It's just too far and the thought of that much time in the car really stresses me out.  I'm really hoping for the job at New Horizons, or just to keep building work up closer to home. I have evals to do on clients around Waco and that is a much more reasonable drive.  If I can get up to 10-12 clients per week I'll be doing just fine and then I'll have the Yes and Star programs when they get up and running.

This last week some old anxiety has crept back in. I have been using my essential oils and deep breathing to fight it off, but my serenity has been a little disturbed. I don't like it. I want to get my laid back and chill summer and fall back. I know it's just all the upheaval and change tends to make me a little emotional, but there is no reason for me to feel stressed over things I can not control.  I also think that maybe I have tried to stretch myself working up here too much. I'm committed to working up here through the 16th for some clients and the next week for others...I'm thinking I should have cut it off sooner. However, being practical and wanting to have a paycheck in January I have stretched it out till give myself more money. This is fiscally responsible, just emotionally draining.

In the end it will all work out. Time does march on whether I want it to or not and I will be living in Purmela sooner than later.  This week I just have to see clients, and then I have a ride to attend.

That is part of what is getting me down too. My beloved NATRC has a competition this weekend and we only have 20 entries.  This upsets me for the ride manager, but it also upsets me for the other managers who have rides to manage in the spring, and one of those people is me. I have already been thinking really small as far as managing costs and expenses.  I'm very nervous though about how much money I'm going to lose and how I'm going to pay for it all.  I want to do it as a benefit for the special olympics of gatesville, but the bills all have to be paid first.  I have a great group of people to help me, but other people, who I used to be able to count on, are not there for me right now.  That means that people I would have hoped would come ride will likely not make it for different reasons. I don't have the friend card to pull to get those entries.  I really don't understand where the riders have gone. I thought we were on the upswing, but, at least for this ride, we have fewer than normal entries for a competition that should be fuller.  We have people coming from out of state, but other people, who live around the corner, are not coming.

I will have fun no matter what. It will be Liberty's first competition since Robber's Route so he should be fresh and fattened up.  It will be Michael's first ride ever and we will have a good time riding together.  I don't have any idea how well we will do in competition, but I don't actually care. It's just for fun.  In the spring I may be riding Hermoso, just to change things up a bit and give Liberty a break. I would never give him time off completely as he is always my choice of horse to ride, but he may need a break from competing.For me, this is a year of going to rides with Mike and spending time together. That is what I care about most.

I woke up angry

Over the last few days a lot of things that I had previously been hurt about have been making me angry.  I decided instead of stuffing those emotions, or setting them aside or trying to just forget about it, I would go ahead and feel the anger and try to work through it.  I hate that this is going to be one of those "vaguebook" posts but it just has to be...you know like Law and Order "the names have been changed to protect the innocent"

I still continue to just ache over the loss of some of my friendships. It's getting better, but I don't think it will be gone until I just get the anger out, quit being hurt and start being mad.  I have been trying to fix something I didn't do...which has been much the pattern of my childhood and youth.  I was always trying to fix things that I didn't cause; trying to make people happy when I hadn't made them unhappy. I'm learning to accept that some people are just unhappy.  Some people choose to let things get in their way and then blame others.

I have always been a closure kind of person. If I'm going be done with someone I want to be done. I don't mean saying mean things and burning bridges, but I prefer the direct "i don't want to hang out with you anymore" approach to just vanishing and ignoring.  I'd rather get it out there and have that argument and know where I stand than to continue to put time and effort into something that brings me no return.  The problem is, I will keep coming back and trying to fix it because that's just who I am.  I don't want the bridges burned. I want the friendships and relationships.  So I often keep banging my head against the wall when the other person just wants me to go away and not talk about it.

I also despise spin.  I hate it when I think that is my bosom friend and Kindred spirit (as Anne Shirley described Diana Berry in Anne of Green Gables) just to find out that they are only my bosom friend whenever it suits them.  So many times I have thought I had someone I could count on only to find out that things are being said or done behind my back that indicate otherwise.  When I pledge to someone I mean it.  I would not do well in Survivor as I don't know how to pretend I'm making another choice.  So, it hurts and angers me whenever people think I have other motives. I will typically tell you what my motives are.  You don't have to discern them.

Over the last couple years I have been sent hurtful texts about me meant to be sent to other people. This has blown my mind b/c it has shown me what people really think about me.  And it hasn't been true. The things they have texted weren't the case at all and the fact that someone would think them was so amazingly hurtful that I wanted to cry. Only, at the same time, it was surprisingly not a surprise because of the above spin...at some point opinions were set forth about me behind my back that were more believable than who I really am.

I know that in the past stress made me behave differently than I really am. I was in such a constant state of uncertainty about my life that I wasn't stable. Several people have told me over the last year how much more relaxed I am now...and so much happier. Other people have questioned my sanity at moving forward with my marriage so quickly. One person commented that it's amazing when God is doing great things in your life it looks crazy to the rest of the world, but it's so obvious to you in the situation. This was a profound statement and reminded me to not judge the decisions people are making because if we aren't living their lives we don't know what is motivating them.  What looks crazy to us might be the blessing they are looking for.

I am so blessed to be starting a new chapter of my life.  I have Michael as my rock. He is the best friend I have searched for all my adult life. The one person I know will always have my back even if we disagree. I am the same for him...of course we have not had any true disagreements so far. He will settle me down and redirect me, but no arguments. We just fit together so well and I am so blessed that God has brought him to my life. I have learned over the last year who my real friends are, old and new. I have learned who I really can trust and who I trusted before that perhaps I should not have.  It's been a painful and rewarding time.  I can not change what others think of me. Someone recently told me that "your opinion of me is none of my business"...I think I will try to remember that moving forward and let go of the anger.