Today I have been contemplating all the changes to my life in the last year. I have been thinking about who I was when I was going, who I was a year ago, who I am now and who I will still become. I have been thinking about all the support I have had to arrive in this location. However I have also been thinking about the friends I have lost and the people who have been hurt by me. I'm grateful for the first and saddened by the latter. I do wish I could be the person I have become without the losses. I also know this is not possible.
Well there went a well thought out paragraph that vanished Because I didn't save properly. Maybe it wasn't supposed to be shared.
A year ago I was preparing to move out and start anew life. I don't think I did it the right way. In fact on the other side I'm sure I did not do things at all well but in the thick I needed to make a move And make changes. After struggling for years it was time to move on. The continued fallout surprises me because I truly thought the feelings we're mutual and it was necessary for one of us to move forward. I still don't think there was ultimately another answer. I foolishly believed that we could move forward with no backlash but I now see that isn't the case. I miscalculated. I hurt more people in my miscalculation. I am paying attention now.
I originally wrote this on Sept 14. I just thought I had more to say and hadn't published it. Today I realized it was complete and ready to go.
This year has taught me a lot and I am not for a second sorry I took my steps forward. I thank the Lord that things happened in my life the way they did or I would not be where I am now. I love the rascal flats song 'bless the broken road' I feel like it is exactly how I got here and I praise the Lord for the bad times that led me to this time in my life.