Today was right out of Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day. It was insanely windy and my little car shook on the road everywhere I drove. There were flash fires everywhere. One of the local stables supposedly had to be evacuated (More on the grass fires here: http://www.star-telegram.com/news/story/440091.html)
I was thinking today about my mom again and thinking about Ice cream. Last night I had Black Walnut Ice Cream. I seem to remember when I was a kid she loved the stuff and I thought it was really gross. I remember that the black walnut ice cream was whiter than vanilla, and since I couldn't read it was how I could tell them apart. I love black walnut ice cream now and eat it every chance I get. I don't think they keep it in stores much.
I have been wearing the sweatshirt mom gave me a bunch. The weather has been cold and it's so cute. People keep telling me how nice it looks on me.
My step-mother (my dad's wife?) also gave me some cool Christmas presents. She gave me a yellow teapot and two mugs and I use them almost every day. She also gave me a lovely, warm quilt that goes with my new couch. I'm grateful for all of it now that the weather is cold and windy.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Adventures with Liberty
Today I had decided was the day for Liberty to do his water training. Everything has been going so well. He's settling in nicely and acts like it's no big deal to ride at home now. I think that taking him out more and more will be the next ticket toward making him a really good horse. I took him for a walk like a dog on a leash to do this training. No way did I want to ride him through water and down hills yet. We took a nice walk and he snorted and stopped a bit at the sights, but he's so much better now about getting going again and he doesn't over react. Freeley will try to bolt past what scares him. Deli gets stuck like Liberty, but stays stuck longer. Liberty stops and looks around, but you can tell that he will be ready to go on soon. We worked on the hills on our way to the water. I stopped him on the hills and backed him several steps and then went on. He's learning to go down the hills softly, at least with me on him. Of course, getting to the hills, he's still scared of everything, but he's learning that I'm going to wait for him until he's ready and so he doesn't stress as much as if I would get after him.
We finally got to the water and he started blowing b/c we had to go down a hill and into the woods. He was sure something was going to jump out at him! He snorted at the mud and the water and I just stood there. This is not an easy little bank. The water is too wide to cross and the bank is steep into the water, so it's not a great place to practice, but it's what I had. He's previously taken me into the lake where the bank was nice, so I didn't figure the water would give him much of a hassle. I put my whip down so I wouldn't over stimulate him and just waited. He started longeing half circles around me, stopping each time he returned to the water. I didn't ask him to do anything except not squish me. He got kind of close to me a few times b/c we were in a tight space. After just a few minutes, he got down to the edge of the muddy bank and sniffed at the mud at water's edge. I figured he'd turn and spin out b/c most horses have to work up to going down the bank and in the water, but not Liberty. Next thing I knew, he had plunged in quickly, running through the to other side and I almost lost my longe line. I was working him on a 20 ft. longe, but evidently, it was further than that to the other side. I was so close to being pulled into the water with him, or having him take the rope and running up the hill without me, neither of which seemed like a good option, so I hung on for dear life. He came back across and the proceeded to longe all around me through the water like it was nothing. I did get him to stop in the water instead of going all the way across after a few times and he just stood there and drank and pawed a little. I realized that he actually likes the water a lot!
He's spooky on the way to and from the trail, but he's handling his stress so well. He startles in place and then touches whatever he's afraid of all on his own, like he wants to understand it. ON the way home some dogs came out of no where and it was the first time I've actually seen him truly spook. I think that was b/c he was at a funny angle to the dogs and couldn't really see them through the wooden fence, so it looked like they had just appeared. I couldn't be more proud of his progress.
We finally got to the water and he started blowing b/c we had to go down a hill and into the woods. He was sure something was going to jump out at him! He snorted at the mud and the water and I just stood there. This is not an easy little bank. The water is too wide to cross and the bank is steep into the water, so it's not a great place to practice, but it's what I had. He's previously taken me into the lake where the bank was nice, so I didn't figure the water would give him much of a hassle. I put my whip down so I wouldn't over stimulate him and just waited. He started longeing half circles around me, stopping each time he returned to the water. I didn't ask him to do anything except not squish me. He got kind of close to me a few times b/c we were in a tight space. After just a few minutes, he got down to the edge of the muddy bank and sniffed at the mud at water's edge. I figured he'd turn and spin out b/c most horses have to work up to going down the bank and in the water, but not Liberty. Next thing I knew, he had plunged in quickly, running through the to other side and I almost lost my longe line. I was working him on a 20 ft. longe, but evidently, it was further than that to the other side. I was so close to being pulled into the water with him, or having him take the rope and running up the hill without me, neither of which seemed like a good option, so I hung on for dear life. He came back across and the proceeded to longe all around me through the water like it was nothing. I did get him to stop in the water instead of going all the way across after a few times and he just stood there and drank and pawed a little. I realized that he actually likes the water a lot!
He's spooky on the way to and from the trail, but he's handling his stress so well. He startles in place and then touches whatever he's afraid of all on his own, like he wants to understand it. ON the way home some dogs came out of no where and it was the first time I've actually seen him truly spook. I think that was b/c he was at a funny angle to the dogs and couldn't really see them through the wooden fence, so it looked like they had just appeared. I couldn't be more proud of his progress.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
A nice day out
Getting outside in the sun was exactly what I needed. Throwing my leg over a horse and going for a long trot on Freeley with maggie and my student Emily really hit the spot. I now wonder if it's more a seasonal disorder that I experience b/c being outside in the warm sun makes me so much happier than being stuck in the house when it's grey outside.
I had a fantastic ride on Liberty today. I worked him in hand first and he took up all charged up, but I kept up a low key and he calmed down very quickly. I was very proud of him. I got on him in the round pen in the bit...he hates the bit. He steered ok, but he fought it every step of the way. Bridling him in the bit is just awful! He puts his head up and down and around and I always manage to get it in, but he hates it. I put him in the round pen first with the bridle under the stirrups so he could get used to going in the bit and he just never really liked it. The good news was that I worked him in the round pen loose with the bit and he responded great at liberty. I worked him free hand just like I do on the lunge so he responded to me just like he does on the longe.
I put the bosal back on him and he was really great. I think that taking him last weekend really made a difference to his confidence. He was so quiet and responsive. I worked on mounting (not so good still, he's still walking off) and backing. He finally started to get the backing and I was very pleased with him! I tried the way of backing my friend Kate used on her horse. I raised up my butt adn asked him to back through the open door. It wasn't good, but finally he did it without fighting. I was able to walk and trot and turn and stop and transition all without a fight. He was a new horse today. I was decisive and he responded well to me. I was beaming after my 20 minute ride. If this keeps up, he'll be ready to do the trail challenge in 4 weeks easy.
I continue to be the bad guy with my mom...I just found out today that the angel Maggie sent her was broken. I had no idea until today, but it sounds like she thinks I did it on purpose...or that her disappointment just really depressed her. I hate that she is so upset by me, but I don't think there is much I can do to fix it. I try to talk to her and it's all my fault and I blog about how I feel so she can possibly understand and that makes her mad too b/c she reads it and thinks I'm badmouthing her. I just don't see any way to improve things. I will have to see about sending her a new gift. Maggie is so sad that the angel broke. She shopped carefully for that present and I thought I had packed it well, but we were wrong in this case.
I had a fantastic ride on Liberty today. I worked him in hand first and he took up all charged up, but I kept up a low key and he calmed down very quickly. I was very proud of him. I got on him in the round pen in the bit...he hates the bit. He steered ok, but he fought it every step of the way. Bridling him in the bit is just awful! He puts his head up and down and around and I always manage to get it in, but he hates it. I put him in the round pen first with the bridle under the stirrups so he could get used to going in the bit and he just never really liked it. The good news was that I worked him in the round pen loose with the bit and he responded great at liberty. I worked him free hand just like I do on the lunge so he responded to me just like he does on the longe.
I put the bosal back on him and he was really great. I think that taking him last weekend really made a difference to his confidence. He was so quiet and responsive. I worked on mounting (not so good still, he's still walking off) and backing. He finally started to get the backing and I was very pleased with him! I tried the way of backing my friend Kate used on her horse. I raised up my butt adn asked him to back through the open door. It wasn't good, but finally he did it without fighting. I was able to walk and trot and turn and stop and transition all without a fight. He was a new horse today. I was decisive and he responded well to me. I was beaming after my 20 minute ride. If this keeps up, he'll be ready to do the trail challenge in 4 weeks easy.
I continue to be the bad guy with my mom...I just found out today that the angel Maggie sent her was broken. I had no idea until today, but it sounds like she thinks I did it on purpose...or that her disappointment just really depressed her. I hate that she is so upset by me, but I don't think there is much I can do to fix it. I try to talk to her and it's all my fault and I blog about how I feel so she can possibly understand and that makes her mad too b/c she reads it and thinks I'm badmouthing her. I just don't see any way to improve things. I will have to see about sending her a new gift. Maggie is so sad that the angel broke. She shopped carefully for that present and I thought I had packed it well, but we were wrong in this case.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
End of a long week
I think we're all finally on the mend here. Maggie had croup and then I had croup and now we're all feeling better. So mcuh better, in fact, that Maggie went to play with a friend she hadn't seen in ages. I'm still feeling a little headachy, but I need to get over it so I can work this week, since I saw no clients at all last week.
I'm still feeling pretty blue and down in the dumps. I don't have any reason to, and I visited the doctor for some other things and brought this up. They have recommended a counselor to visit, and depending on what she says, they may start me on an anti-depressant. I find it a bit amusing that I am having to jump through so many hoops to get started on something for depression and anxiety. I have friends that waltzed in their doctor's office and were handed prescriptions and samples with no questions asked...me, I have been to two different doctors who both asked me tons of questions and still question whether I need it. One of the doctors asked me if I was an anxious person. I looked at him and said that I would not call myself anxious, but I suspected all my friends would say I was anxious. Since then I have been noticing how I fail to be able to relax. I just am not sleeping well, my memory is bad and my brain is scattered. The doctors are trying to pin it on my return to work, but I was feeling this way last spring and went to my family doctor who told me I had to see the psychiatrist, which I never did. I was told by so many people that the psychiatrist would find something wrong with me whether or not there was...I honestly don't know the answer. I just know that I'm really not working that hard and I want to be happy. I love my life, my family, my job. Everything is fine, so there is no reason for me to be feeling this way.
Which brings me to my weight. I haven't lost any of the holiday weight. Not sure why I gained holiday weight as we didn't go anywhere and except when my dad was here, I didn't really overeat. And even then, I was conscious of making good choices at my meals. I didn't do anything to lose it, and I didn't do anything to gain these 5 pounds back, so it's hard to figure out how to get rid of it again. I know that scientifically it means that I'm taking in more than I'm burning, so maybe I have the winter blahs and just don't have enough exercise b/c it's cold and nasty outside...not sure, but I've got to make something happen b/c I want to get back below 200 and stay there!
I'm going to sign off and read a book. I have read 2 weeks in as many weeks. Now I"m working on reading/listening to Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince so that will take awhile.
I'm still feeling pretty blue and down in the dumps. I don't have any reason to, and I visited the doctor for some other things and brought this up. They have recommended a counselor to visit, and depending on what she says, they may start me on an anti-depressant. I find it a bit amusing that I am having to jump through so many hoops to get started on something for depression and anxiety. I have friends that waltzed in their doctor's office and were handed prescriptions and samples with no questions asked...me, I have been to two different doctors who both asked me tons of questions and still question whether I need it. One of the doctors asked me if I was an anxious person. I looked at him and said that I would not call myself anxious, but I suspected all my friends would say I was anxious. Since then I have been noticing how I fail to be able to relax. I just am not sleeping well, my memory is bad and my brain is scattered. The doctors are trying to pin it on my return to work, but I was feeling this way last spring and went to my family doctor who told me I had to see the psychiatrist, which I never did. I was told by so many people that the psychiatrist would find something wrong with me whether or not there was...I honestly don't know the answer. I just know that I'm really not working that hard and I want to be happy. I love my life, my family, my job. Everything is fine, so there is no reason for me to be feeling this way.
Which brings me to my weight. I haven't lost any of the holiday weight. Not sure why I gained holiday weight as we didn't go anywhere and except when my dad was here, I didn't really overeat. And even then, I was conscious of making good choices at my meals. I didn't do anything to lose it, and I didn't do anything to gain these 5 pounds back, so it's hard to figure out how to get rid of it again. I know that scientifically it means that I'm taking in more than I'm burning, so maybe I have the winter blahs and just don't have enough exercise b/c it's cold and nasty outside...not sure, but I've got to make something happen b/c I want to get back below 200 and stay there!
I'm going to sign off and read a book. I have read 2 weeks in as many weeks. Now I"m working on reading/listening to Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince so that will take awhile.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Another day at home
It's cold and drizzly outside and Maggie is still recovering from her cold. No fever today, just stopped up and coughing. Her dad will be here to get her around 3pm and he wants a massage. I should be in the other room making it neat for the massage table, but I sit here at my computer, alternatively blogging and playing sims. Peter is still here having had a late start to his day. He's not feeling his best either, but I think he's getting ready to go into work. I have notes to write, but just realized that i have no more stamps, so I can't mail them anyway. It's too cold to ride, so here I sit. Cozy at my desk. Not a bad feeling really.
Yesterday I finally finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I'm going to start the Half Blood Prince as soon as I'm done reading Horse Harmony, about Equine Personality typing. Of course, I often listen to one book and read another at the same time.
Not much happening here today. Peter is going to get Maggie and myself some chinese food and then go to work.
Yesterday I finally finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I'm going to start the Half Blood Prince as soon as I'm done reading Horse Harmony, about Equine Personality typing. Of course, I often listen to one book and read another at the same time.
Not much happening here today. Peter is going to get Maggie and myself some chinese food and then go to work.
Monday, January 21, 2008
All about Liberty
Liberty is proving to me each day that he was a good purchase. He really uses his brain and tries to figure things out. I accidently got the blanket caught over his head and he never freaked out. He waited for me to get it off his head. When he didn't like his dinner b/c I put probiotic on it, he picked up the bucket and flung it and it's contents at me. when we did the obstacle course, he walked up to the chair I was supposed to lift and picked it up with his own teeth. It was great! I left him tied to the trailer and he did call quite a bit, but really was reasonable about standing tied for two nights. I figured out that he is not backing b/c he's really giving his face, but not his body, so I have to work on some of that stuff next. I think when I get him backing, then his stop and his downhill motion will improve a lot. He flexes so well that I think the next step is to show him to give more of his body and not just his face.
I also see how all this work I've been doing will benefit the other horses when I find the time to do the work.
I also see how all this work I've been doing will benefit the other horses when I find the time to do the work.
I have no idea
I'm sitting here realizing it's been about 10 days since I posted anything and I don't really have a theme for today's post. Maggie is sick today and we've been home today having a lazy day. She didn't have school anyway b/c it's Martin Luther King's Birthday, so the sitting around is appealing to me. I'm not sick, but I really am very tired, though i don't find it easy to nap during the day anymore. I'm sure I'm just tired from the travel, but I know I'm also tired b/c it's winter and I get this way. I don't know if I'm really, truly depressed or just kind of blah. Lack of exercise will do it, and not getting enough sunlight. I just feel cranky and tired. I really like working, yet I start every day and end every day tired. I feel like my fun factor has really dropped and I don't honestly know how to get it back. Being between tears and anger all the time isn't fun. I just want to feel like me again.
Maggie and I went to the region 4 NATRC convention this past weekend. We took 3 horses with us. I got to ride both Liberty and Freeley. Liberty did great, but it showed me where we still need work. He's still not completely stopping when I want, but the head shaking has gotten much better. I realized that he's doing everything I taught him, but I need to turn down the volume to get a more mellow reaction. He's almost trying too hard. Once I get a better whoa out of him, I can start riding him out more. He's still rushing the hills, but I almost think I'm going to just have to hang on and let him figure those out on his own. He goes down fine ponied so it doesn't seem to be a matter of not being able to. I think we both get nervous and then I clamp down on him and he speeds up so we are feeding each other. everyone told me how cute he was, which of course, I really liked! Maggie rode Freeley in the obstacle class and they had a pretty good run.
Maggie got an award for 6th place horse with Brody and they got the team combo award for the year. It was pretty cool to have her get that and I was really grateful to Jackie for letting Maggie ride him. She really misses him and I wish she'd let them ride again, but she has decided to use him for more cutting type work and doesn't want the kids to mess him up.
I can't decide what I want to do for NATRC or AERC this year. I got to thinking that going to an endurance ride would be fun, but I know Liberty isn't ready yet. Maggie was going to ride Joe Bear, but after this weekend she isn't sure she wants to. He kept yanking on her. Of course, if we're going to do an endurance ride we can theoretically go as fast as we like, so I keep going back and forth. I don't know that I want to drive to Houston and do the ride and then drive home alone...I just feel so tired of the driving and I want to pay off bills so we can get out of debt, which means not driving so far to rides. My original plan was to do the AERC ride in February and then a trail challenge, which I hoped would be Liberty's first ride...just a lot to think about. The NATRC folks really acted like they'd like us to come to their ride. I'm going to have to wait I guess. The good news is that if we go to the ride in Houston we can stay over till Monday and then come back, but then Maggie will have to turn around and leave 2 days later for her vacation with her dad and I don't think she wants to do that either.
I almost wonder if we should hang up competing and just ride for fun this year, at least till Deli's foal comes. I'm thinking about what will happen with the money for Deli's foaling if anything goes wrong and I feel like I should build up a pile of cash and lay low.
Well,I do feel better after writing in here. Not sure why, but my dread for the day has lessened. I'm just tired and I'm always tired after traveling. I just want to be happy again and I want to understand why I am not happy.
Maggie and I went to the region 4 NATRC convention this past weekend. We took 3 horses with us. I got to ride both Liberty and Freeley. Liberty did great, but it showed me where we still need work. He's still not completely stopping when I want, but the head shaking has gotten much better. I realized that he's doing everything I taught him, but I need to turn down the volume to get a more mellow reaction. He's almost trying too hard. Once I get a better whoa out of him, I can start riding him out more. He's still rushing the hills, but I almost think I'm going to just have to hang on and let him figure those out on his own. He goes down fine ponied so it doesn't seem to be a matter of not being able to. I think we both get nervous and then I clamp down on him and he speeds up so we are feeding each other. everyone told me how cute he was, which of course, I really liked! Maggie rode Freeley in the obstacle class and they had a pretty good run.
Maggie got an award for 6th place horse with Brody and they got the team combo award for the year. It was pretty cool to have her get that and I was really grateful to Jackie for letting Maggie ride him. She really misses him and I wish she'd let them ride again, but she has decided to use him for more cutting type work and doesn't want the kids to mess him up.
I can't decide what I want to do for NATRC or AERC this year. I got to thinking that going to an endurance ride would be fun, but I know Liberty isn't ready yet. Maggie was going to ride Joe Bear, but after this weekend she isn't sure she wants to. He kept yanking on her. Of course, if we're going to do an endurance ride we can theoretically go as fast as we like, so I keep going back and forth. I don't know that I want to drive to Houston and do the ride and then drive home alone...I just feel so tired of the driving and I want to pay off bills so we can get out of debt, which means not driving so far to rides. My original plan was to do the AERC ride in February and then a trail challenge, which I hoped would be Liberty's first ride...just a lot to think about. The NATRC folks really acted like they'd like us to come to their ride. I'm going to have to wait I guess. The good news is that if we go to the ride in Houston we can stay over till Monday and then come back, but then Maggie will have to turn around and leave 2 days later for her vacation with her dad and I don't think she wants to do that either.
I almost wonder if we should hang up competing and just ride for fun this year, at least till Deli's foal comes. I'm thinking about what will happen with the money for Deli's foaling if anything goes wrong and I feel like I should build up a pile of cash and lay low.
Well,I do feel better after writing in here. Not sure why, but my dread for the day has lessened. I'm just tired and I'm always tired after traveling. I just want to be happy again and I want to understand why I am not happy.
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Resuming my blog
I used to write in here all the time. I stopped b/c after doing facebook stuff it seemed unnecessary. But lately I have been wanting a for...
