Wednesday, April 13, 2016

How to save a life

How to Save a Life is a song I have always liked. When I listen to it I hear it from both an artist perspective and from of therapy perspective. In the song someone is having trouble and someone else is trying to help them. It's hard to tell if the person having trouble really has a problem or if the person trying to help is putting their own map on top of the other person. I Envision this song as being someone having an alcohol or drug problem and their loved one is telling them to get their act together or get out. But I also realize it could be that the person singing the song is saying get your act together, the other person being talked about doesn't feel like they have a problem at all. And they may not. They may be living there life the way they think they should it's just that other people see them as having a problem. The song may not actually be that complicated this is just how I see it. I have always wondered what was the intended meaning behind the song.

So often I find this happens in life as well. We live our lives the way we think we should and people come and go from our lives and try to help us or we try to be a help to others. However, the way we see things often does not match the way people see a given situation. I may feel like I am on a good path and other people may think I'm on a bad path. If they try to save me and I reject that I need to be safe then they either walk away or stand beside me. That is our choice all along. We can walk away or stand beside. 

But how do you decide what is the right thing to do? When you want to help someone and they reject your help how do you know how to behave? Do you accept that your health is at once or do you continue to be steadfast and continue to offer help? 

I have never known how to just be. I have a problem with offering advice when it is not wanted. I do it in the Name of Love but often the person I am trying to care about does not accept my help or my love.

It works from the other side as well. People offer assistance when it doesn't seem like the right kind of assistance it is hard to accept. What is the right kind of assistance? I asked this question legitimately because I do not know the answer. Sometimes in offering assistance we make the person we are trying to help feel worse or more helpless. Sometimes I recognize that all we can do is love and stand aside and let the person know that we are there for them while they are working out their own reality.

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