Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Blob

As I was typing in the address of the website I got to thinking that I should be typing blobber.com instead of blogger.com based on how I was feeling after eating supper.

I had a reasonably good eating day until the very end. I started with a small portion of supper, wasn't full, ate a tad more, waited some more and then had the ice cream I had intended to eat. Somewhere along the way, I ate too much. I know that I'm partially feeling heavy b/c of hormones and what they do to a girl, but I also know the last two weeks (and quite frankly, most of the winter) I have not been exercising as much as I wanted.

Today I didn't make it to Yoga b/c I was feeling sniffly and it was snowing and I just didn't want to face being outside. Tonight, we didn't make it to Pilates and I didn't lift weights b/c we're both feeling a little yucky and it was late when I got home from the grocery and it was too quick after eating to go exercise. Yesterday, I didn't make it to Zumba b/c I was cooking dinner and then my client called to cancel and I didn't have to leave the house at all. Now, the days before that were filled with hiking and riding, so at least the last few days haven't been a total bust. I was going to lift weights and do my Wii fit here at home (still might) but I put on PJ's and got comfortable...it's always hard to make a comeback from comfortable.

My weight, now that I'm on Medifast transition to real food, has been slowly creeping up. This is NOT good. But, I find when I eat more than 1200 calories in a day I gain weight. I just don't see how I can continue to exist on less than 1200 calories a day. I'm hungry all the time and when I exercise it's worse. I don't understand how i can be so active and eat reasonably healthy and still have a weight problem. I'm exploring the possibility that i might have an underlying undiagnosed thyroid issue. Of course, all my tests say I'm normal, but I'm not convinced.

I wish i could have weight loss surgery. I have a friend who had it and she is never hungry. She eats a tiny plate of food on schedule several times per day. I would love for that to happen for me. I can't imagine going through the rest of life being hungry. I suspect I will have to exercise like a maniac so I can eat before I can be hungry every day.

Anyway...it's always easy to beat up on yourself when you are drug down by the weather and the sniffles anyway. Tomorrow is a new day and I'll get right back on top of it.

Oh, and I didn't go over my calorie range by much...1600 for the day. I'm supposed to eat 1550. I suspect I burned up 50 calories doing chores.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Snow melting day

Today we are sitting here watching the snow melt. It's wet and sloppy

I'm working to return to my past state of serious eating and I'm making headway. We are giving up pizza at our house for lent! That will help me immensely.

Yesterday we ate Red Lobster when peter came home from his trip. I was proud of myself and had a lunch portion of Salmon with asparagus and I substituted broccoli for the rice. Of course, then Maggie and Peter wanted Pizza at night and I ate that b/c it was there. I'm not good at not eating the food I like if it's available! But, I did insist on thin crust and I'm sure that helped.

Today we opened a valentine's day box from Peter's folks and there was a bag of peppermint patties in it. Fortunately, they aren't my top favorite candy so I just had Peter take them and hide them for he and Maggie. Maggie's Aunt Sara made her an afghan. It is just beautiful. I can't believe how intricate it is!

Today she is doing schoolwork. We have gotten so behind that I make her do something almost every day. She's not working much at her dad's house, so I figure we have to make up for it on Saturdays. She's doing a language arts test right now. I won't make her do anything else other than read today probably.

Later we have to go feed which will entail slopping in the nasty mud, but it has to be done. We're talking about riding in the pasture since we're so starved for a ride. We won't be able to do anything but walk, but it might be fun to just get on a horse for a bit. We were supposed to be doing an endurance ride this weekend, but after all the snow and slop the forest service pulled the permit for the ride. I think they were going to try to have the ride anyway, so it's good that the forest service pulled the permit. It seems like a lot of folks were still trying to get there in spite of the crappy trails and roads. I'm not quite THAT die hard.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Maggie's snowgirl...equestrian style

Thank goodness for a good set of snow boots

In Texas one wouldn't think of snow boots all that often. Last winter I bought a pair of heavy duty, water-proof boots from Land's End (my favorite clothing company) so that Maggie and I would not have wet feet riding in the rain. I never dreamed I would actually need them for snow. My toes have stayed dry and toasty throughout tramping through the field.

At the field there was so much snow on the electric fence it was touching the ground. Maggie is out in the field making her first full sized snowman ever. I took some photos to post later. She also through a huge snowball at me. She figured she'd better do it while she had a chance.

I was able to blanket the boys. Joe has two layers on because he was so pitifully cold. The girls were so wet that I couldn't blanket them. they will be fine, but Dixie looks so pitiful. They have a bale of hay and will be ok till we ca get out to feed again. It's Joe I worry aout the most. He was already a little thin and it's been colder than expected this winter. I wish that I had not let him lose so much weight this fall. I am comforted by the fact that he does seem to get about half his hay that he chews.

Next weekend I taking the young horses to the TTC as I want to take Tootie to camp. This way I can leave Joe with free choice one and only and hay pellets. That way I can pony Fiera before coming home and get her used to camping and Joe can have time to eat more. I have been getting out to feed 1-2 times per day but it's hard to give him enough time to eat before I need to leave...or I have to leave him locked up longer than he likes.

They are now saying we could have 10 inches of snow. I think we'll do schoolwork...only it's hard not to have a snow day mentality.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Quiet week

With Peter gone and Maggie at her dad's I have had a quiet week. I spent a good part of yesterday and today designing a logo ride. I'm going to put it on prizes and on tshirts. I have cut out the pattern for the prize, but then I fell over the baby gate by the laundry room and now have bruised knees and hands. I hurt so bad when I fell that I thought I was going to cry.

So, I have been watching Dark Shadows...never have seen this show and thought it would be fun. I tried some netflix on demand, but that requires giving up my computer and I wanted to sit here and surf once I hurt my knees.

I'm leaving in a few minutes to go having dinner with a friend. I haven't seen this friend in ages and i'm looking forward to seeing her.

Tomorrow I have a few clients in the afternoon and have to take Peter's car to the shop to be fixed. I will try to clean house too before I pick him up at the airport on Friday.

My 50 is off for now. I haven't ridden much for the last 2 months and I'm short on cash, so it seemed better just to do it another time when I have more time and money. I hope the weather dries up enough that we can ride either Saturday or Sunday, maybe even Monday. It's time to hit the trails again!

I have a lead on a trailer upgrade that I would love to be able to take part in, but I have to sell my trailer to do it. If anyone is looking for a trailer let me know...I have a four horse straight load with a tack compartment.

I fed this morning and saw the ponies. They all seemed pretty happy, though it has become pretty obvious to me that Liberty will soon be deferring to Fiera. I hate to see that...but he lets her eat his food. Heck she can eat anyone's food except for Joe and she's working on doing that too. It's so funny to watch. She doesn't kick anyone off their bucket...she just "shares" and they let her. Today she was trotting across the pasture and it was so beautiful. Two more years till riding. IT's going to be a long wait.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Medifast weigh in and reflections

I will be weighing in on Wednesday at Medifast. I think I have 2 more weeks to go on my plan, maybe 3...I have decided to really be vigilant this week and eat correctly since I'm home and Peter is gone. I thought it could get me back on task. I did pretty well today.

I'm finding out all kinds of things about myself through this dieting process. I find that i don't like to go weigh in at the center on weeks when I know I have gained. They start to nitpick me about what I have eaten, what I'm doing, how much I have exercised. Of course, I know this is their job, but it makes me feel naughty, which makes me want to eat more food to prove my independence. That is surely messed up. I find that I really hate having anyone tell me what I should eat. I already know what I should eat. Most of the time I do it well. Sometimes I don't. I know that I should eat about half of what I do (when I'm not paying attention or eating out) I know that lean meats and lots of veggies are better for me than pasta and cream sauces. Sometimes I want the pasta and cream sauce. Mostly I am able to say no.

I'm not sure how to start doing Medifast full time again. I wonder why I'm "over it" mentally when I was doing so well before Christmas. I wonder why it's not easy to go back to my shakes full time.

I was up today when I weighed on the WII from the weekend at the convention, but that didn't surprise me. It will be interesting to see what i am tomorrow. I'm still noticing an over all trend upwards. I will start transitioning to food soon, but I guess, realistically I already have. I think part of me feels like I can't make my goal anyway, so "why bother" which is totally the wrong attitude. I'm still striving to lose. I just keep creeping up.

But, I have lost inches and I need to cling onto that! I have lost a bunch of inches.

I still think there is something in me that is afraid of succeeding in this arena. Something holds me back when I start to dip below some sort of invisible comfort level. I want to be thinner and to have a beautiful body...and I'm working at it. I just have to get my mind right and figure out why I keep stopping myself.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Great NATRC regional convention

Maggie and I went to the NATRC regional convention in Oklahoma City, OK. We had a great time and the horses received their awards. I got to sing Karaoke and dance in a smoke free bar, which is always a pleasure. It was such a fun, and relaxing weekend and I got to see my best buddy, Amy Martin, who agreed to be my room mate even though I snore.

Peter is on a business trip this week and it's weird to be here without him. We often do things independently at home, but it's still nicer to have him in the house. Maggie is asleep and I will be going to bed in a few, but decided to watch Friday's ER that I recorded.

This evening Maggie and I watched 3 movies. We watched the Secret Life of Bees, Hotel for Dogs and Dr. Horrible's Sing along Blog. They were all good. Secret Life of Bees was incredible, Hotel for Dogs was sweet and Dr. Horrible was oddly disturbing and funny.

I hope to accomplish some things this week. I plan to clean house from top to bottom, do some sewing, watch all my movies that are not movies that Peter would appreciate, digitize some pictures...anyway...I have a full list. The weather is going to be crap, so I won't be able to ride anyway, I might as well accomplish something else :-)