Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Husbands and horse trainers

Today my husband ignored food thawing on the counter for an entire evening. He noticed that I had made rice, which I intend to take on my trip, but he walked by the chili, which I was thawing for his dinner, and the raw chicken, which got to room temperature before I got home. He wanted the rice and I told him if he ate it, he had to make more, but would he please put it in the fridge for me. When quizzed on why the rice, the chicken and the chili were still on the stove, he said he just never thought to put them away...even though I asked him to. We argued (and he'll probably respond here, since he is an authorized person on my blog) and he did apologize, much to his credit...I like a good apology.

The other thing today was that he used my sewing scissors to cut open plastic. He said: you mean those grey handled scissors that have the broken handle. I replied: only the handle is broken, the blades were my best ones...probably not now that he's cut open plastic with them. Sigh...it's not like we haven't been this route before, but I ended up feeling bad that I called him on it. Not sure why that is.

ON the subject of horse trainers...Maggie had a barrel lesson tonight and I can't say it went well. The other kids all seemed very happy, but Maggie didn't have a good time. She changed around tack, told the kids to do things that I personally never teach. I learned to ride English, but I have honestly never thought there was that much difference in basic riding between western and english riding. Sure, there are techniques that you use in one and not the other. No one runs barrels in an English saddle and most people don't jump in a western saddle, but I honestly have never thought they were that much different. She changed their bits around and recommended bits and equipment that I loathe seeing kids use. Maggie got busted for letting Deli eat, which I explained is normal in distance riding...if they aren't working they are eating. The trainer said if she was eating she wasn't focusing. She then talked to the kids about safety for a long while (which I thought was great) but didn't want Deli to eat b/c she was supposed to be focused. I remember thinking that the horse didn't give a flip about the lecture, but I told Maggie not to have her eat anyway. Toward the end when they got to riding, I did see some interesting techniques that I would like to have my daughter practice and practice myself, but I"m still not sure. I felt like even when I agreed with the teacher, she was trying to show me how much she knew. I didn't feel like there was any conversation in which she wasn't trying to tell me that she knew more than I did. I found that very frustrating. Of course, maybe I was the one trying to prove myself...I"m still pondering that question.

As I've gotten older I have quit trying to make myself beneath all the so called experts in the world. There are many times I meet people who know more than I do, but I also meet people who don't know more than I do. I find myself trying to relate to people as equals. I'm an equine professional. I teach lessons, I earn money, I have a good base of knowledge. Why should I have to pretend that I'm ignorant b/c someone else wants to be built up? OF course, I expect the same respect from the other professional. I don't know squat about barrel racing (and I may be glad about that in the coming weeks) but I do know about barefooting my horse. The trainer's husband is a farrier and even when I tried to talk foot care on equal footing, I got the feeling that she wanted to let me know that she was more experienced that I am. She may be, but why was it necessary to put me in my place?

I"m sure we'll go back for round 2. I find sometimes that I learn the most from people that I don't agree with on the surface.

Then when it was time to pay, it was $15 more than we'd been told b/c it went over time. I've never had an instructor change the price on me after the fact. I was shocked. I kept waiting for her to resend it since she was the one who decided to keep them longer, but she didn't. I now owe the owner of my barn $15 b/c I only had the $30 that I was expecting to pay. I think $45 for a 2 hour lesson is a good value, it was just more than I had budgeted for the lesson.

Maggie said that the trainer talked about winning and what to do to win. Maggie says she doesn't really care if she wins at this. She just wants to have fun. I told her that the lessons, even if we don't always agree, are important to our development. We can learn something even if we don't like everything someone is telling us. Nothing we were shown was cruel or bad, it was just different than how we're used to doing it. I know that I need to open my own mind to listening to new ideas too.

BTW, I think my husband is a great guy. Sometimes he just gets his head up his code and we lose each other. I know that as much as I"m annoyed about the scissors and about the kitchen, mostly I just didn't have a very good day and those are tangible things that I can do something about so I fuss about them.

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