Sunday, September 30, 2007

Barn day Sunday

Today Maggie worked the barn with Jena and went OK, though there was some disagreement between the girls over who was working harder. Jena and Maggie had no fights and I was so proud of them. However, it felt like I kept losing Jennifer. Finally at the end of the day I told her I wasn't very happy with her. I hate correcting someone else's kid, but I know if my kid had been slinking off, I'd have been pissed. I don't think I was hard on her, but maybe I was. It's hard to say with kids. I'm proud of myself though, I didn't lose my temper or anything. I'm also really proud of Maggie and Jena. They worked really hard all day and they were nice to each other all day.

On the subject of LIberty: I’m iffy on the horse, only b/c Deli has been lame, but I’m doing some corrective stuff with her. Maggie doesn’t want to give her up, but wants a horse to ride. He’s green, but I really like him. I just know that since I board (especially since I board) I don’t need 3 horses, a pony and a foal this time next year. Of course, I’d love to have them all, but I don’t know what I'll do. Maggie says that she doesn’t care about competing if she can’t compete on Deli…I can honestly say I don’t feel that way. I think it would be way better to donate Deli to a therapeutic riding center if I can’t get her ringbone under control (our latest dx) where she can do what she is good at (taking care of kids) and we can do what we enjoy. Ultimately, I don’t know how much of a choice Maggie will get. I mean, I hate to be mean to the kid, but she doesn’t really get the economics of keeping horses in the city and being able to accommodate them. I wish I could find someone who wanted to lease a nice broodmare. I hate that she’s had this trouble. I hate the thought of ditching her. I also hate the thought of keeping a lame pet for another 10-15 years. Sigh…

Crowley schools called me back and they want to keep talking to me about the work there. That would be outstanding if I can get that all worked out. It will be hard work, but it will mean that we could darn near get out of of debt in the next 9 months. That would be fantastic...and allow me to keep all the horses, maybe, if I wanted to. Maggie says she doesn't like me working that hard, but I think that it's good for all of us. Mostly, what it could do for us is give us the freedom to move somewhere we really like if our neighborhood is rezoned as entertainment district and we're bought out.

Everyone around me has been sick and so far I have managed to stay healthy. Tonight I have a croaky voice and my asthma is bothering me. I hope it is just allergies.

We had barn excitement today...a new boarder went down to the yet unopened trails and rode them. They gate people let her in. So far, we've been told they're not open. One person I know thinks that the person in charge is just telling everyone we can't ride them yet b/c she likes having them all to herself. I just know that we're supposedly so close to having them open, I don't want anything to mess it up. Evidently, the person riding and then person in charge got into an argument about it. I just want them to be open!

We used Deli for a lesson today and she looked tons better...hopefully she is on the mend.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

The Cat Just Busted my Yoga Ball

My poor yoga ball was the victim of a terrible feline crime. While escaping from the dog, she jumped on the ball, and tore a small hole in the ball. I heard the air rushing out from the other side of the room. maggie picked up the ball to examine it and the whole thing exploded in her hands. Bye, bye yoga ball.

Today was a fun day. Maggie and I picked up Liberty from our friend Karen's and brought him to New Ground Farms. We walked him around and gave him a bath and just played with him...or rather, Maggie played with him. She wouldn't let me have him to play with him. Something about how he's supposed to be her horse. Grumble, grumble.

He was so funny. He wanted to be friends with the other horses, but they ran away from him. I expected him to be the one being chased, but they were running from him. He didn't know what to make out of Zoe, the mini, or Arnold, the pot bellied pig. He's such a good, sensible boy though. I think we'll have a lot of fun training him.

I had a nice, but short ride on Freeley. He was full of himself today. He bucked a few times and ran like a mad man. I made him angry trying to work on his sidepassing. He definitely is feeling his oats right now. I'm glad he's feeling better, but he was more manageable when his front feet hurt. Deli looked better today too as Liberty chased her through the field trying to be friends.

Tonight we went out to dinner as a family and went to see Little shop of Horrors at Theater Arlington. I found out about it b/c I while I was at lunch the other day, I found out a friend of a friend's boyfriend played the voice of the plant, so I was intrigued. His name Major Attaway and he was fantastic. I was talking to him on the phone b/c Darby, his girlfriend, said he had recently become a massage therapist and wasn't sure where to work. I told him about DSSW and Darby told me about the musical at the theater. It was really fun to have something to do as a family, all of us.

Tomorrow, I'm taking Maggie to the barn early so that she, Jena and Jennifer can clean the barn. They will share $60 for the work. Maggie doesn't really want to do it, but she does want the money, and b/c of Liberty, I want her to contribute in either money or labor, so that she understands how hard I work to maintain these horses (well and how hard Peter has worked for all this time) I'm going to supervise since Rob is in town and Jackie has plans. I told her that unlike the times when I've done the barn, I expect her to do it and I'm only the help. I will dump buckets and I'll probably clean the outside stalls, but I'm not doing the heavy lifting...ok, well, I guess all I'm doing IS the heavy lifting. I have students tomorrow so I'll be teaching while they are cleaning.

Hopefully we'll get home in time to watch some Smallville and hang out tomorrow night. It's likely to be a long, allergen filled day.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Big Foot Boogie Photos

Maggie and Brody on the trail


I was about to make a blog when my daughter's dachshund, Cecilia, peed on me and my instead of posting about running, I was running away from the dog. Ugh! I really dislike this dog and I would like to find her a new home. However, she's lived with us for four years and she is the one my daughter loves best and I can't bear to make maggie give her up. So, instead, I put up with having her pee on me. Yuck and double yuck.

Tonight Maggie and I started her running program. Our friend Alexa showed her stretches to do and told her to start by walking from one end of the block to the other and then running the length of the block and then walking back home. We did this. I jogged it slow, got very tired, but made it, but recovered quickly. Maggie ran it faster than me, but had a harder time catching her breath. We are both terribly out of shape. Maggie commented that she was the one who needed conditioning, not the horse.

This Sunday Maggie begins her new job. She's going to be doing the barn with Jennifer a couple times per month. Well, that's the long term plan. For now I know she's working this weekend and I probably have her talked into the weekend of the 14th, but beyond that, who knows. She wants some Sundays off just to sit around (don't we all) but I think it's going to be good for her. I hadn't realized how lazy she's become. She's not a huge TV watcher or a computer player, but she just doesn't move a lot. In the last six months she's gotten a lot bigger and her energy levels have just plummetted. I know that the only way to get past where she is is to get busy and be active, so I'm kind of forcing the issue. It's one of the reasons that I wanted her to go ahead and ride the next CTR. That is good exercise for her. I know that she won't much like the barn cleaning, but since we're getting Liberty, I figure she needs to be willing to work for it. I work very hard to afford the horses. I want her to understand that she needs to do the same too.

I had another vet come out to see Deli this week to get a second opinion and see what else could be causing her lameness. They said it was ringbone and that she has low heel, long toe syndrome. I didn't cause the ringbone, but my trimming techniques have caused the long toe. I'm a good trimmer when I have time, but lately I haven't had time. So, I'm going to pay a farrier to trim her for awhile until she quits being lame. Against my principles, but under veterinary recommendation, I had alluminum egg bar shoes put on her temporarily. According the xrays it will help her be comfortable quickly. Of course, tonight, she's just lame, so I don't know if it will help or not. Dr. Tersteeg, the vet, said to give her a week in her new shoes (it will be 10 days before we have time to mess with her anyway) and then see if she's still lame. If she's lame, leave her alone in the pasture. The poor horse is getting so fat...she's just as sweet as ever though.

I can't say that ringbone, other lameness is really a great prognosis for her, but I think it will be easier to find Deli the right home with this dx over EPM. She won't have chronic care issues, may be ridden some and could teach lessons and do local schooling. She might also be suitable for a therapeutic riding center. I will have to find her a job next fall if she's still lame. She gets a reprieve b/c of the foal and would have a reprieve for at least 6 months or so anyway. As sad as it is, I will have to find her a home if she continues to be lame. I can't board old and lame horses forever. I worry that I will also have to make this decision for Freeley some day. I dread that day!

Speaking of Freeley, for the moment he is doing great in his shoes. He acts like he feels better and he is moving better for now. I won't leave him in shoes long term, but I think I will be letting Tony trim Deli and Freeley for awhile. I will continue trimming Joe Bear and I plan to do Liberty myself also.

Off to tomorrow and picking up Liberty. Still need to post about maggie's ride, but I'll do a seperate post and put up some photos.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

quick note

Alot of stuff is going on. I just haven't had time to sit down and write anything.

Mainly I wanted to tell the story of Maggie's CTR and how she finished it all by herself after I got pulled. She had a safety rider following her, but she did it all on her own. Boy, was I proud!

I also wanted to write a quick note to say Deli doesn't have EPM. She is lame in both front feet and has ring bone on the right front. Not sure yet how that will affect us, but I do have the farrier coming to help me put it right tomorrow.

There is more to tell. This is just the quick version.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Annoyed with myself

I am home sick today. I was supposed to see music therapy clients and instead I have been visiting the porcelain God on a regular basis. I think maybe I'm done, but I feel weak and tired. I do NOT want to go out of town, and I'm really happy that I"m only going as far as Cat's friend, Susan's tonight. She will be here in a bit and we're going to load her truck and then go pick up my horses...well, Jackie's horses, for the Bigfoot Boogie. It will be Jena's and Maggie's first ride. They are very excited. I'm going to ride Skipper, Jackie's foxtrotter. Maggie is going to ride Brody, one of her Quarter Horses. I had toyed with taking Freeley, but he's still on antibiotic and therefore not legal to compete...besides, he still has the cut on his leg.

I'm really angry with myself today. I got talked into shoeing Freeley's front feet. He has some rotation and per the vet, he recommended shoeing him to get it healed. HE thinks it won't be long term, but that I should give it a chance to get better. I wasn't going to shoe b/c I don't like shoes. Today the farrier came and I guess he and Jackie got to talking and they called me and said they thought he needed shoes. Here I am home sick and I just didn't have the energy to argue. I let them shoe him. Now I'm just sick that I let them talk me into doing something I don't really agree with. But it's done. I'll see if he's anymore comfortable this way, but I just can't see that I've made the right choice and I'm irritated with myself.

I get tripped up b/c I know people who shoe and don't shoe and they all have valid points. I think that it might help him to wear shoes, but I don't want to be thought of us unenlightened. I get that shoeing long term is bad for the horses. I get that barefoot is best. But sometimes I'm not sure that barefoot is best. But I can't KNOW for sure. I only have the vet telling me what to do on one end and the barefoot advocates telling me what to do on the other end. I end up confused and stressed out in the middle.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Finally the link showed up

This is the link to the album with the photos Maggie took yesterday. I couldn't believe how nice some of the pictures were. Too bad the camera wasn't a better one.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Photo of Liberty

I'm hoping these photos show up...if Not I'll figure something out tomorrow. So, pardon the red x's.

I discovered that Maggie has an extraordinary sense of photography. She's got a great idea.

I had planned to write more about my riding and my day, but I"m pooped. I have to work tomorrow.

It seems I will be on four days a week plus after school every day starting in another week. Money is a good thing.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Bad EPM Day; good day to ride

This is a photo of me and my friend Karen Haile working with Liberty, a half paso/half arab cross. I am looking at him to be a replacement for Maggie's beloved Deli, who has a bad case of EPM and will never be able to compete again (most likely) He is young and it will be at least a year before she can compete him (in the mean time she can ride Freeley or one of Jackie's horses) but I think he'll be nice. I have a "deal" on him so that he is affordable. This is the first time he'd been ridden in over a year and he was calm as could be. He's got a great personality and is really sweet. I have discussed a time table for picking him up, but I am still reconciling if it's a good idea or not. I suspect it is not, but I also can't imagine her going without a horse to ride for who knows how long.
Deli looked bad today. She was very wobbly on her hind end. I was not encouraged. She was sweet and kind as always and I hugged her tight. Joe is being mean to her. I suspect she's been so mean to him for so long he's getting back at her. I fed Freeley his antibiotics and had to fight Joe Bear off. I think that Zoe is taking his food. I wish that Jackie could find a home for her. That silly little mini keeps taking my pony's feed!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Fun evening horse shopping

I meant to get a photo of Liberty to post in my post about him, but I ran off without my camera. I'm much more relaxed now...playing with horses always does that for me.

I liked Liberty. He's very nice. He's grey on white now. Karen, his owner, gave him a bath and I could see all his darker spots and dapple grey. However, when he dried he was white on white again. He's very green. He's been started, a little...but he's very green. I loved his personality. He was respectful, not too pushy, alert, but not crazy spooky. A couple of times he spooked at things like the door to the truck and the hose, but he did it in place. He stands tied really well and loads in a trailer. He also picks his feet up very easily. He's been barefoot all his life, so his feet should be amazing.

His movement was very nice, but he's so green it's hard to tell how training him will go. I have to ask myself: is he a horse for me or a horse for her? The answer is that of course, he's for her in the long run and for me in the short run. I would have to start him and get him going and make him safe for her and that will take time. If she's not willing to ride Freeley next season, then I won't get him b/c she won't be able to really ride him for 6 months minimum. I have to make sure he's safe. Maggie says that she doesn't get on with Freeley and doesn't like riding him. I have told her that she hasn't given Freeley a chance. She says that she will if I will consider getting Liberty. The price is certainly right, but I still have to cover board and figure out what I'm going to do with Deli during all this. No word from Eric yet, so I don't know what he thinks. I have begun to hope that she'll get well and we'll be able to put her back to work, but the vets were not encouraging that she'd ever be NATRC sound again.

Do I Have the nerve to break a horse myself? Do I have the grit to overcome my nerves? I think that I do, and I want to find out. Do I want to pay to board yet another horse to find out. I will have a total of 5 horses, boarded if this happens. It would be ideal if I could find some place to park Deli. I need someone who will know to look out for her, let their kids ride her, take her to local shows. I want to get my foal back and raise him/her. I want Deli to have a meaningful life where we don't want her to do things she's unable to do. I think she could be a broodmare, or perhaps a children's horse. She's great with kids. I just know that I don't really need to board a horse long term that I can not ride. I wish that I could keep her forever, but I don't have property where I can just let her go. It's so hard to know where to take them. I just know how much we love her and how we want to make/keep her happy.

I have a headache

I'm tired and I'm cranky and now I don't get to have a day off tomorrow b/c Maggie smashed her finger in the door and I spent the afternoon getting her checked out instead of doing my work. Sigh, big sigh. I will live, but I was really looking forward to just sitting around tomorrow. So, tomorrow am I have one client at 11 and an assessment at 1pm. It will be OK. I will live. I will make it. I will run to the barn and feed Freeley his antibiotics and it will all be ok...I"m just stressing now.

sleepy this am, needing a day off

I have let so much around my house slide this week. I really, really need a day alone. I won't get it...but I sure need it.

Maggie doesn't have school on Fridays. We all decided to sleep late, so it's 8:44 and he's still hanging around. They are having a pleasant conversation and playing a game. I feel the weight of everything I need to accomplish pressing down on me and I just want quiet. My house is a wreck, I have embroidery to do for someone, I have 2 clients to see today, I have notes to write before that. I'm just stressed and swamped feeling. Normally I embrace my Fridays, but today I just am so tired and want quiet and they are happily chatting away. I have not expressed my need for quiet b/c it's not fair to them. I know that I am being a cranky baby, so I just wait for this moment to pass. He'll leave for work soon enough and then I can have my quiet. My husband is such a great, nice man, I am loathe to hurt him when I have control. There are plenty of times when I lose my mind and hurt him without meaning to. I have work I need to accomplish and I don't feel like I can do it till he goes to of the pitfalls of sharing a home office if having your space infringed upon. Some day I want a house with my own space/office. The dynamics are just different when everyone is here. I can't even tell you why, but it sucks all the energy right out of my day when he's hanging around playing games and I need to be focused and energetic.

Tonight we're going to look at a horse that Maggie may be able to ride. I posted his baby picture at the top of this blog. He's 6 now, his name is Liberty. He was born on 9-12-01. I don't know if we'll do it or not, but it's a possibility. If we get him, Maggie will be cleaning the barn to earn a portion of his board. Jennifer, who is 12, is already doing it every Sunday. Jena, Cat's daughter, says she'd like to do it as well. If the three of them do the barn, then they would each get $20 but they would get done faster. Of course, we mom's would help some too, do mowing and bigger work. I still have to see it will all turn out. Honestly, I'm not sure I'll make her give up the money b/c I think earning her own money could be an important lesson. I also think that the sweat equity is just as valuable in learning how to take care of the horses.

I had better getting started on my work. He's still hanging out at 8:58 and if this continues I'll not get anything done all day.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Empowering decisions

Today I made a decision! I decided that I would go to Maggie's school and do massages only 1 day per week. This means I will be paying them more money each month, but that's OK b/c I'm working more. We are only three weeks into school and Maggie is already complaining how little I'm home. I told her that we would all adapt and it would be fine. I need to work and we're finally getting things caught up and bills paid off. We finally have enough cash to take care of our needs instead of running to credit cards on occasion. It's a good feeling. I don't have to feel guilty if I go to a ride or a clinic. It's a good, good feeling. Did I mention it was a good feeling?

Still no word from Eric about Deli. I'm so hoping he'll take her and let her live there, which will free us up to have another horse to ride.

We're going to look at a new horse...Maggie may be doing the barn to pay for it if we decide to get him. Dumb, yes, but this is one of those good deals...we'll see what happens. She will be doing the chores to show me that she understands how much work there is to be done in a day. We'll see how long she stands up to the task. Of course, I will help, but she and Jena and Jennifer see ripe for the task. I'll be there to ride, trim, teach and supervise. It will be fun to watch my kid cleaning stalls for a change. Having a plan makes me feel so much better anyway.

Deli should get started on Marquis by Saturday. Freeley will get a trim this weekend and then he will be better.

Maggie is excited b/c she is going on the CTR ride next weekend. We are going to go to the Bigfoot Boogie with Cat, Jackie, Jena and Jennifer. Susan, Cat's friend, is going to ride Merlin too. IT should be quite fun. We're all going on a lark. I don't expect to do well at all on Skipper. I"d rather take Freeley, but I don't think I could bear not competing, so I'll go with something tried and true. I am riding Skipper and Maggie is riding Brody. I just hope that Skipper is in good enough shape. It could be a complete mess, but we'll all have fun

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

To Shoe or Not to Shoe

I got bad news from the vet today. Deli is having a recurrence of EPM. WE can treat her with medicine that won't hurt her foal, but she's likely to never be a good riding horse for what we want to do again. I'm hoping to send her to my friend Eric's in MO to be a broodmare, get light "company" riding and live the life of leisure. Of course, these are my plans, neither endorsed nor declined at this time by my friend Eric. I have my fingers crossed that he'll take her.

I have to find my kid a horse she can ride. I can't bear for her to finally be 10 years old and not be able to compete. We have waited for this so long. I have a lead on another horse...just have to wait and see how this whole thing pans out. ON one hand I feel like a major heel plotting out my next horse, but OTOH, I know that I can't board a horse forever that can't be ridden...or can't ever be ridden in my sport. I knew that some day I would have to face this, but I didn't expect it to be now, and I didn't expect it to be Deli.

Which brings me to Freeley...I showed him to the vet too. He's lame b/c of his gash and it's infected despite my best attempts to keep it clean. This vet said no wrapping, so I unwrapped it. He watched Freeley move and I figured we'd do some chiropractic work on him. WRONG! He's lame in both of his front feet...which is why he looks reasonably sound most of the time and why speeding him up actually fixes him temporarily. They xrayed his feet and he has rotation from a past founder in his front. It's very slight, only 2 degrees, so he thinks that he's fixable. However, he wants me to shoe the horse with corrective shoes to fix it. All my barefooting instincts tell me this is the wrong answer. I don't know what the right answer is, but I'm not convinced that shoes is the right answer. OTOH, I know the vet says it's a good idea. I know that no one will agree on this...both sides will say they are right and as a consumer, I honestly don't know what the right answer is.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Weekend update

Our weekend trail ride didn't go as planned. We had planned so beautifully too, so it's really a shame.

The short version (well, I mean for it to be short b/c it's late and I'm tired) is that Freeley got tangled in his rope at the trailer on Friday am. I don't know how he did it, but I heard him thrashing at the trailer and went out to untie him. He had a rope burn, a gash on his lower left hind leg, and various cuts and bruises. He had also managed to pull his rope halter over his nose, but it was still over his head (note to self: no rope halters at the trailer) He never took a bad step, but the vet judge felt like he was too badly injured to start and that it would likely get infected on the trail.

So, I thought I would just find Maggie someone to ride with.

Then she checked in and the judge said that Deli was grade 3 lame. It's that same old something that's been going on for 2 years. She's not "really" lame, but she looks lame and tracks lame. I don't think she hurts b/c she's bright eyed and good natured. I think her hind quarters are weak from EPM and perhaps she has some left stifle involvement. I can show her off to make her look more sound. I have ridden her twice this year when she wasn't called lame and I honestly think she was just the same.

Maggie was heartbroken. She cried, I cried...then Peter took her to town for ice cream and I trimmed Deli to see if shortening up her toes helped did seem to, but it was too late by then.

We hung around to have supper and then we went to bed. The next morning we packed it up and went home after the riders had timed out. I know I was a jerk for not staying and working the P&R's, but I was so depressed that I just couldn't stay and watch everyone. Turns out it was a really good choice, b/c they had a terrible storm and I'm a tent camper. They ended up calling the ride for the second day b/c the trail conditions were too bad for folks to go out. I know that one of the streams we crossed on Friday morning was high then. I can't imagine what it looked like after it rained all of Saturday and Saturday night.

I have a vet and chiro coming to see her tomorrow. Hopefully we can get to the bottom of this. I have a bad feeling it can't be fixed, but the vet seems to think it can. I have my fingers crossed and I'm praying hard.

ON the subject of easy boots...I foamed on my first set and it was ridiculously easy. I don't know what I worried about. I got them off on Sunday and they are a mess that needs to be cleaned up. They are in the back of my truck in a bucket of water. I will have "Fun" picking them out over the coming days. I'm not sure the foam helped them stay on that much. The amount they recommended sure seemed like a lot, but I did notice that it wasn't on the bottom of the boots so much, so I wonder if I should have used more. I also didn't get the lid back on the chemicals tightly enough and it made a mess in my tack box. YUCK!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Off to the races...

Well, not exactly, but almost. Tomorrow we leave for Maggie's first Competitive trail ride. I will get up in the am and pack the truck, go to the barn, foam on Freeley's boots (my first time, could be scary) pack up, pick her up from school and hit the road. Peter is going to go up early and get us a camping spot. I hope he's able to get one with electric and shade and a place to tie up the horses. That's the hardest part really at RR. It's hard to find a good place to tie the horses where you can have electric. I figure I'll be ok without electric, but Peter may want a fan.

Time for bed. Tomorrow is going to come very early.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

The Sunday that Was

I spent the morning wishing that I could stay home. I headed to the barn as I was supposed to, take a lady on a trail ride. And I got rained out...what a bummer. This very nice woman, named Rebecca (names changed to protect the innocent and guilty) wanted to see if she could still ride a horse after 30 years. Of course she can ride a horse! She just isn't sure if her knees will hold out. She really wants to get a horse and ride again and I hope to help her see that she can. Our next opportunity will be on Thursday. I may find I've given myself too much to do that morning, but I'll give it my best shot. I'll be at the barn getting ready to leave for Maggie's first CTR anyway. I figure it will be good for the horses to have some riding before they are tossed in the trailer.

When I got to the barn today, I discovered that Kevin, the guy who used the other half of the same pasture my guys are in, had taken his fence down and was preparing to move his horses to his new property. My horses were so funny as they ran around the whole field. It was like they didn't quite know what to do with the extra space. I did notice some things he left behind that I hope he'll be taking down soon. There are rebar spikes in the ground near his run in shelter and I worry that my bozos will step on them. His horses didn't of course, my I still worry that mine could.

Maggie's 10th birthday was today. She spent it with Meg and Lori. They went out on the ocean and went tubing and it sounded like she had a lot of fun. We're going to throw her a surprise birthday party tomorrow at The Incredible Pizza Company. It will be fun b/c she really has no idea. Surprises are such fun!

She'll spend Tuesday and Wednesday night with her dad. I hope he'll take her to the barn so she can get in a little riding before the weekend. It's really been a blessing that Nicole uses her for so many lessons. It will help keep her fit.

This week begins the crazy preparation for Maggie's first CTR. I keep making list after list hoping I can get it all together before Thursday. I'm glad I gave myself an extra day for this one.

Big Changes ahead

Let me start this blog by saying that my husband is a really good guy. I love him dearly, but I also really like who he is. He takes care of Maggie and me and he provides for us, so much of what I'm going to right will be selfish and totally from my point of view, but here goes.

He's wanting to make some changes in our lives that I'm not quite prepared for. I can't go into any details, which is even more stressful trying to figure out what to blog and what not to blog. They are changes that could be, on the surface good changes, but they might not be. It could be something that backfires. I just don't want to do it and I can't quite convince him that there might be something better around the corner if we just wait. I have as many good reasons for not wanting the change as he does for wanting it. I'm working now, and I'm enjoying earning some of the money and I really, really want to help dig us out of debt. I'm not convinced that what he wants to do is going to help us with that. He's really convinced that it's a really good thing. I've been trying to talk myself into it, but so far, the knot in my stomach is not going away. We are at an impasse. We're not fighting, but we're not really finding common ground either. I'm not sure how it will all turn out. I keep praying that God will show us the right and true path so that we can make the best decision for everyone.