This weekend I was supposed to have gone to a competition. I doubt it myself early on before I sent the check because I wasn't sure I wanted to travel. I had a feeling that I should just stay home. However, I love this competition and the location and I haven't seen my friends in a little over a month, so I did want to go. I finally sent my check but then one thing after another happened and it became clear that I really needed to stay home. I have felt crummy all week there's nothing specific that I could put my finger on. On Wednesday I had a small fever but it resolved pretty quickly. I decided that I just needed to stay home.
Almost immediately upon deciding to stay home I began to feel better. The weight of packing up and going to Oklahoma by myself had evidently been weighing heavily on me and I hadn't even realized it. I have several projects I have needed to do but every time I've been home the weather had been bad or I had other things come up that needed to be taken care of. (Of course, as an aside, it is raining like crazy today so some of these projects will have to wait until Saturday or Sunday when it's a little drier.). I have been longing for a day where I could get free sit and watch some television and crochet.
As I found the possibility of four emptied a stretching ahead of me I realize I had so many little things I wanted to do. I have 23 hours of Fixer-Upper recorded on my DVR. Yes, I have seen some of them but I figure it never hurts to watch those again. I want to make curtains for my entertainment center to cover up the Clutter beneath the TV. I want to bring in my lawyer bookshelves so I can put more things away. I am going to finally have a living room and then I can bring the table back into the kitchen where I can have a dining room as well. I might even have room for a deep freeze for some of the food that I have been buying. All of a sudden the possibilities are just endless. Yes, this is mundane and in many ways not fun but these are all things that will help me feel like my life is a little more under control.
I have come to realize in the last 8 months that one of the reasons I was gone so much is that I was so unhappy at home. Now, in my little house in the country I am so happy to be here but I almost never want to leave. Of course, I would be happy or today if my plans were not disrupted by heavy rain. On the other hand I'm incredibly happy that I'm not driving to Oklahoma and this and camping in this since my trailer seems to have a leak that I have yet to fix.
I slept almost 12 hours last night and woke up feeling rested. Of course I also felt like I could have gone back to sleep but it almost 9 o'clock it seems like I should get up and get moving. Now I'm sitting here listening to it rain hard with dogs and cats surrounding me. I have my computer out to do a little work and I have 3 crochet projects on the bed next to me. I am drinking coffee and contemplating what else to do with my day. The possibilities are endless.
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