Delicato's Debacle (Cass County CTR)

Well, we went to the ride this w/e. It wasn't pretty. I've been stalling on writing my story b/c committing it to paper for all to see makes me ask more questions and worry that much more.

I took Deli as planned. I noted on Saturday that I thought she was coming into heat though even when talked to by the stallions at the ride she didn't say much back. She was her normal, pleasant self. She checked in well, she vetted in well, she ate and drank well. She was just great. Deli is such an easy horse. She does have a temper, but she's kind and safe. I never worry about her being nice to people. She's the "spare" horse and teaches lots of lessons.

Saturday was very hot. We've had a really mild spring in Texas this year and all of a sudden it was hot. We had to trot into both P&R's and we lost points both times. Losing points at P&R's is unusal for us. In the beginning of our CTR career she lost points for sore back, sore neck, sore pecs, etc, but never in her pulse. Saturday we lost points for both. She could not get cooled off and panted a lot. But we didn't get held or pulled so we kept going. Our obstacles were fine, metabolic checks OK, but considering how hard the whole event was on all the horses she did just fine.

Sunday morning she was fine, but she didn't eat breakfast. This is very unusual for this horse not to eat breakfast. Her gut sounds were good, she had eaten alot of hay in the night and she had drunk plenty of water, so we went. She was very wound up wanting to be with April, my friend Betsy's Morgan mare. Since Betsy and I travel together a lot, we usually try not to ride together, thus separating the mares from the beginning. But they were both so upset about being separated we kept them together this time. The problem is that Deli walks much slower than April and gets left behind. She then has to trot to catch up, which is harder on her body and wears her out faster, as well as gets her more wound up. On Saturday we peeled off from April (which then caused April distress) but when we caught back up they were fine together for the rest of the day. Sunday I tried the same approach, but with much different results.

We were in the deep woods where the trail is hard to see and I couldn't keep up with April without trotting constantly. Deli was very tense, so I made her wait. She refused to walk forward. She only would trot and then mostly sideways. A couple of times she got away from me and crashed through thick woods and underbrush. I hit my head on many branches and once again was so happy that I ALWAYS wear a helmet. Some more people came along and they offered to let us walk quietly along behind them. I thought that might be a good option for awhile. We were not in a good place to get off and just hang out and I was starting to have my confidence rattled. In the past, I would have gotten off and just quit, but I've been so brave lately. I was so proud of myself for not over analyzing the behavior and instead simply riding it out and taking care of business.

This new solution of following these people was not a good solution. No sooner did they put me behind their "nice slow walk" did they start to trot very quickly through the woods. I have ridden behind these same folks before and find they almost always mess up my pacing. They don't do a consistent tempo. They walk a little, trot a little, walk a little trot a little. Every time I've been behind them I've hung back waiting for them to get ahead of me so I can find a pocket, and then I trot up on them again. So their offer for help would have been great, if they'd kept walking...but they didn't.

So, now Deli was frantic about a new set of horses and was getting more and more out of control. I couldn't circle her and there wasn't any place to really get off the trail. I was running up on their horses and I was afraid she was going to run over them. She wasn't thinking. I finally came to a little clearing and I hopped off and we just waited there. She was panting and puffing and I could tell she was physically and emotionally distressed. I started to think about the couple of times she had behaved this way in the past. One time it was a bit issue (something must have been wrong with the bit b/c once I ditched it, she never did this again) and one time she melted down when I know she was coming into heat. Since I had evidence she was coming into heat, I went with the assumption that a follicle was giving her trouble. However, this did not immediately solve any of my problems.

After another group of riders past, and I realized by voices in the words that there was an obstacle ahead, I decided to mount back up and go on. The judges all asked me how I was doing and I burst into tears. All the stress I had felt for the past 10-15 minutes just came out and I cried and cried. I haven't cried while on a horse in a long, long time. After I settled down the judge asked me to approach her which I told her was a bad idea. I guess I sensed that Deli was just moments away from snapping. She talked me into coming closer and when I did, Deli launched over the log and on top of the judge. Then, instead of running left up the trail and out of the woods, she crashed straight into the briars and low branches. I remember seeing the judge under my horse and then I closed my eyes and kept my head and face down while trying to turn her. She finally got stuck in the briars and had to be pulled out. I dropped off (but I didn't fall off) and just stood in some briars. I started crying agian.

At that moment if I'd had a gun, I think I might have shot her...good thing I don't own a weapon.

My hands were cut up and I was bleeding. I had scratches on my neck and later I found a huge bruise where I hit the horn. I stood and talked with the judges for awhile. I was so angry I was determined to get back on and finish. I felt like my horse had completely forgotten I was there and I was determined to finish the ride and teach her a lesson about who was in charge. The judges talked me out of riding and I ended up pulling. I told Doanna, the horsemanship judge, how sorry I was. And I also blubbered on about Maggie and how she loves Deli, but how could I ever trust my child on this horse again. Doanna reminded me that each relationship was different and not to blame Deli too quickly till I had a chance to examine all the evidence and evaluate her behavior later.

By the time we got back to camp though...I wish I had stuck with it. I hate to pull.

Later, at awards, people were laughing about the whole thing and I thought if I put off writing about it, I would find the humor...but here I am 3 days post event and I don't think it's funny at all. My hands are still cut. I haven't been able to work at all this week. I know that there is humor here. It's a great story...NORMALLY MILD MANNERED HORSE GOES ON CRAZY SPREE THROUGH FOREST. etc. I'm just not laughing yet. I'm left with concerns that she is mentally unbalanced and that all the trust I've placed in this horse has been misplaced. I'm worried that she has a screw loose and will never be trustworthy...or worse, that all along she hasn't been trustworthy.

I'm not sure what to do to believe in her again. I need a plan, some exercises, something I can train her with that will help her to be the horse I always thought she was. Maybe after she is bred and has her baby she needs to be spayed? I just don't know right now and I hate feeling like I can't trust her.

Of course the flip side is one crazy event does not a crazy animal make. I have never considered ever letting this horse go until this event. I have never felt or seen such out of control behavior on her or any horse. I didn't even exist at the point at which she barrelled into the woods.