Too tired to write much (or maybe not)

I just got back from a fun ride at Cbar stables in Valley Mills, TX. They have a camping area and over 1000 acres to ride on. There are three sections of mixed trails. Pastures house cattle, and in between are rocky, canyon type trails to climb in and out of. Right now there is water in the creeks, which is really welcome this time of year (it was 102 today) but they keep water troughs out when the creeks are dry.

I went with a group from my barn. Maggie and I had decided we wanted to go and I asked Jackie from NGF to join us, along with her daughter. Another girl wanted to go and she was going to bring another friend of jackie's daughter. At the last minute I decided to take one of my former riding students so that Maggie would also have a friend with whom to ride. The kid ages are tricky in this bunch. They are 16, 14, 12, and almost 10 (Maggie will be 10 Sept 2) Until recently, Maggie has always been regarded as being a "big kid" but with the addition of the extra almost teens and teens at the barn, all of a sudden she is a "little kid." Actually, I think the real problem is that for so long she was the only kid, and now there are old kids, so that's what makes her a little kid.

When I plan a camping trip I typically have a set time I want to leave. I know when I want to arrive, what my plans are, what I'm going to eat etc. This trip got away from me from the beginning. I wanted Jackie and her daughter to join us. When others thought it sounded like fun I said, sure, why not. Then they started asking other people to come with them and they wanted to borrow Joe Bear and it just got out of hand. One girl asked Jackie if she could use Joe Bear. She didn't ask me...she asked Jackie. Anyway, I tried to put limits on who was coming, how much space there was etc and it seemed like they didn't care. I'm quite sure they think I'm a control freak. I agreed that I was about some things, but we only had so many trucks and trailers. Plus we had certain riding goals in mind. There are lots of reasons I didn't want the other girl to go...not the least of which is that she rode Joe Bear and Deli and complained about them both, but then had the nerve to ask to ride them again. I told her that since she didn't seem to appreciate them, she'd have to find a new ride the next time she didn't have an extra horse...now I worry that she'll come use Joe without permission. Also, I have my daughter with me. This girl isn't someone I want around my kid. The other, older kids, think she's so cool. Maggie doesn't think much of her (the feeling is mutual) and I would just as soon keep it that way.

So, we left late, got there late and I was setting up my tent in the dark. The good side is, I slept great, even outside in the heat.

I did learn some valuable lessons though. If I have expectations of schedule, and really want to keep them,I should make my plans, invite the other folks to come, let them make their own reservations and then leave on my own time frame. I need to accept that they don't run on my schedule and it annoys me to stall my own schedule. Or, I have to know that whatever time I set as my schedule will end up being later than I planned and I have to suspend my irritation. I seem to be the only one who really cares about being on schedule and I can't make them buy into my value system. One of my good friends, Sylvia, told me that if I was truly honest with myself, I would have known that the way it turned out is exactly what I expected all along. And, I have to confess, she is right. I was downright delusional to think it would be different.

And darn it if Jennifer didn't ditch Maggie for the older kids. I have a rule about only taking 2 horses in my trailer since my truck is small. I broke my own rule to include an extra child for Maggie and she was still on her own with me. At dinner on Friday and lunch on Sat. she crammed into a table with the older kids rather than sit by us. She talked Jackie into letting her ride back in the truck with her instead of me b/c she didn't want to take her turn in the backseat. So, she got me to pull her horse for her and hay her horse and sling her horse's poop, and she couldn't even be bothered to ride in the same car...It will be a long time before I break my two horse hauling rule again for her! I really like this girl. She can be so bright and funny and entertaining. My daughter enjoys her too. But she does seem to disappear whenever there is work to be done. She works when the people she wants to impress are there to watch, but has a habit of quitting when those folks aren't around. A few of us have seen it. I guess that time will eventually make her into a solid citizen or the others will catch her at her game. I have talked to her mom a bit about the problem, so other adults are aware. I like her mom, Patty, very much. I like Jennifer very much. I just wish she hadn't blown us off.

I spoke with my friend Betsy who told me this was the age where she and her daughter (who just graduated from HS) started spending time alone together. I think that's probably the best idea anyone has had yet. Maggie and I will spend some time hanging out and doing this together and being each other's best friend (well, in a mother/daughter sense anyway) I'm going to spend more time letting her be a little girl rather than hanging out with the older girls who don't really want her around anyway. Maggie seems happy about this...I hope it sticks.

Also, in fairness to the others who traveled with me. I never told them I was upset or anything. I didn't really see any point. It was just a set of my own expectations higher than I should have this time. I still like the people involved and I continue to enjoy riding with them.

More about the actual riding tomorrow. I'm falling asleep as I type. I'm sure that's a sign that I should go to bed.